Page 25

CHAPTER 25

TRISTAN

TWELVE HOURS EARLIER

It’s still quiet. Almost too much, as if something is coming for us. I’ve learned to question it all since this war started. If it’s too loud, if it’s too quiet, if it’s not loud enough, if it’s not quiet enough. I’ve become almost crazy in my thoughts. It’s enough to drive a person over the edge, and the only thing I’ve been hanging onto is Parker being here with me.

It’s annoying because I used to be okay with anything. I could handle the moments where I didn’t have to hear others speak. The car I had? I’d drive it way over the speed limit just because I could. Over a hundred miles an hour did nothing to my stomach. It was how I proved to myself I was alive. I could handle fireworks and things of that nature, but now I’m not sure what I’ll be able to deal with once this is over. It’s changed me significantly.

There’s a fear that Amelia won’t love me anymore, that I’m not the man she married, because I’m not. Maybe she won’t be able to handle the man I’ve become. There are things I’ve seen. There are things I’ve done. Things I’m never going to be able to forget. Can she accept it? I don’t know. We’ll have to see. I’m as terrified about that as I am about how this war will end.

Parker lies next to me a few feet over at the entrance of the tent we’re in. I’ve never been in a tent before this. I’ve never done a lot of things before this. Not to say I didn’t train. In the military I did, but I never once believed I’d have to do it when it counted. It was very much one of those, just in case I need it, type of things.

But those were the before times. Before the Calders decided to invade. Before they took every ounce of security and safety I felt and turned it into something that I will never be able to forget.

He grunts as he rolls over, bringing his coat tighter around his body, and looks over at me. “I know I’m the one who shouldn’t be giving you thoughts that don’t make sense, but does this feel weird to you?” he asks. “It’s been a while since we’ve had quiet, especially for this extended amount of time. I’m worried. I’m scared,” he whispers. “We haven’t defeated them yet. This feels like the calm before the storm, as if they’re planning on doing damage when we least expect it.”

Those are the exact thoughts that have been rolling around in my mind for the last hour and a half. Instead of being able to relax because there’s not a ton of noise around us, it’s got me more on edge. “Me too.”

I don’t know what any of it means. I’m not sure what they’re planning on doing, and I am terrified, absolutely terrified. These are the moments when I wish Amelia was here, when all I want is for her to wrap her arms around me, to give me her hand, a simple smile. It would all make it better. Her careful and stoic strength is desperately needed.

While we’ve been able to talk to each other through text, it’s made me miss her more since I left our visit. Relying on those texts to make my days isn’t healthy, but I give into the need.

T: Love you. I hope to see you soon.

Waiting for her to reply, I rub at the wedding ring on my hand and think back to our wedding day. Think back to how happy I was, how many plans I had, what the future held for us. It was so bright, unlike the darkness of this moment, the dank tent we’re in.

There was happiness, and now there’s none.

“Now I get it,” Parker says as he looks over at me. “There’s definitely something going down. Last week, there was some chatter on a few of the lines we listened to, and I didn’t want to tell you about it, but maybe I should now.”

Immediately, anger courses through my body. “Goddamn it, Parker. You’re supposed to tell me when anything happens. This isn’t the type of situation where you spare my feelings or spare my ink or spare my fear. This is scary, but we’re all facing this. We must know when there’s a threat, if there’s a threat. Why would you do that?”

He sighs heavily. “I’m supposed to protect you, Tristan. I’ve been protecting you for years. With this, I can’t seem to do anything right. It’s as if I don’t know what the fuck is happening. They’re under the radar, and I don’t understand how.”

I hear what he’s saying. I don’t understand it either. There have been so many times where we should have known what they were going to do, and we didn’t. Now that we’re on the offensive, we’ve made headway, but I am worried—desperately worried—that we’re going to lose it as quickly as we got it.

Swallowing roughly, I look over at him. “I’m scared. For the country, for my life, for my wife, for you, for Shannon, for everyone. But right now is not the time for you to hold things back from me for the sake of what you think is my sanity. I have people to protect. There must be truth in everything you tell me. Promise me—promise me, Parker—don’t hold back.”

He nods slowly. “I promise.” And with that, he starts to say more.

His words are cut off by a loud cracking in the distance and what appears to be the detonating of a bomb not far from us. We both get up off our cots and look at one another. My hands are shaking as I get up from the cot, my stomach feeling as if a bunch of nerves are firing at different intervals.

We haven’t gotten undressed because it’s not something we do on the battlefield. Sleeping in our clothes has become second nature and a way of life. Like a synchronized unit, we’re putting our weapons on when someone cuts through the tent. The flash of a long blade is closer than I would like, and my life as I know it flashes before my eyes.

“Let’s go,” Parker yells. “Get out of here. I’m right behind you.”

I take off at a run and don’t look back.

As we race into the dead of night, the horizon lights up like it’s a freaking Sunday on crack with mortar shells exploding around us. I can see Parker as if he’s standing in broad daylight, looking at me. There are men—men I’ve come to know well—lying dead around us, and I am absolutely gutted by what is happening. I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to put a band-aid on it, and I’m not sure what my next steps are.

Parker grabs me by the sleeve of my shirt and yanks me toward him. “My king, now is the time where you must protect yourself. We have got to get out of here.”

I understand the tone of his voice. It says there’s nothing for me to do, and I don’t have time to mess around. With a nod, I put the shield up on my face so I can see what’s happening but don’t react. We’re running—running toward an armored vehicle that’s waiting for us. I keep my eyes locked on it, knowing that this is freedom, that this is how I’ll get back to my wife, this is how I’ll still run this country.

When I’m ten feet away, there’s a loud, loud bang. It knocks me flat on my back, off my feet, and the world goes black.