Page 33

CHAPTER 33

SHANNON

The man lying beside me in bed is the epitome of every single dream I’ve ever had. When I was a little girl living in Crona, the man I wanted for mine was strong, loyal, and willing to die for the people he cared for. Until I moved to Haldonia, I’d never met anyone like this.

The first time I was introduced to Parker? I knew he was it.

He’s sleeping beside me after confessing what he did. Some women would be scared and worried. I’m not. He’s never given me reason to. No matter what he’s done with his hands or what he warns me about himself, I’m not going to give him up. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to be with him.

“I love you,” I whisper as I stroke his face, pushing his hair from his forehead.

His eyes pop open. “I love you, too. Hearing you say it is the best gift I ever could’ve been given, Shan, but where does this leave us? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust myself again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was able to kill men with my bare hands. How can I trust that I won’t fly off the handle with you one day?”

Rolling my lips together, I contemplate telling him why I left Crona. Half of it was because of what I saw at the castle, but there was also something else. “You’ve confessed to me, now I’m going to confess to you. I left Crona because I didn’t like what was going on in the castle and with the royal family. That’s neither here nor there at this point, but the main reason I left was because of my own family.”

His jaw tics. “What are you saying, Shan?”

Sitting up, I run a hand through my hair. “I’ve lived in fear of men in my life. The first one I feared was my own father. The reason I worked with the royal family was because they wanted me to be integrated with him. After I started working at the castle, he didn’t introduce me as his daughter anymore. Do you know what he did?”

“I can imagine.” He glances up at me before reaching out to rub my thigh.

“He told everyone, ‘This is your future princess of Crona. She’s working at the castle now, but I just know the prince is going to fall in love with her.’ He would tell anyone who would listen. Then, he would get frustrated when I would come home and had no news to tell him.”

I stop for a second, trying to collect my thoughts.

“You don’t have to finish if you don’t want to.” He rolls over and places a kiss on my bare leg. “Parents are assholes. They’re meant to love us, but too many of them build their lives around us. Instead of being proud of their accomplishments and letting us live our own lives, they decide to abandon their individuality and make our lives theirs. I ran into this too, but I have a feeling it wasn’t as bad as what you were dealing with.”

For him to know exactly what I was dealing with, I have to be honest. That’s never been a strong suit with me when it comes to what happened before I fled Crona. “The longer I worked at the castle, and I didn’t have a ring on my finger or any indication that there might be interest in me, the more he was disappointed. At first it was passive-aggressive remarks. Then it escalated to where he would verbally abuse me. The last time he asked me why I hadn’t been fucked by one of the Calders yet. I spat at him.”

“And what did he do?” Parker grinds his back teeth together. “Did he touch you?”

Thinking back to that night, I’d rather forget it, but I know I have to be honest with him. If I’m not honest about this, then what else will he think I’m lying about? “Yes, he slapped me across the face, ripped my blouse, and told me it was my fault we were living in poverty. He had this grand idea that one of the members of the royal family would look at me, fall in love, and sweep me off my feet. He was counting on me being the person to bring us out of our situation, and he thought it would be because I’m pretty.”

“You’re beautiful.” His voice is reverent as he reaches up, cupping my cheek in his calloused palm. “I don’t think I ever told you what I thought when you walked into the room and my boss told me you were going to be Amelia’s assistant.”

Rising up on my knees, I face him. “No, you didn’t, and I would love to hear that before I delve deeper into what I dealt with in Crona.”

“At first, I didn’t believe there was any way you’d be able to hold your own. You looked like you should’ve been the queen, or at the very least a princess. I went to my bosses and told them there was no way we’d be able to trust you with Amelia’s wellbeing.”

I cover my mouth with my hand and laugh loudly. “I guess I should be offended, but lots of people have underestimated me my entire life. It’s part of what makes me good at my job. Everyone always assumes I’m a pretty face who doesn’t know how to throw hands or handle a gun.”

“Well, you know how to do both, and I’ve never been so turned on by a woman holding a gun before. I can tell you that.” He leans up, kissing me roughly. “But keep telling me about your dickhead of a father.”

I close my eyes, thinking about what was the last straw for my relationship with him. “I hated it, but I could deal with the things he was saying to me, until he started to give me tips on how to seduce older men. I didn’t want that.” I blink quickly to get the tears out of my eyes. “Then I went into work after watching what I was pretty sure was a sexual assault going down.”

“Sexual assault? Shannon, no.” He shakes his head as if he can’t bear to hear what I’m about to say.

Crossing my arms over my knees, I go back to those moments when I was worried about what I was seeing. “I was never able to prove it, and after what I saw, I was scared to make accusations. But from that moment forward, I was always careful not to be alone with any of them.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming?”

“Because there is.”

His jaw tics as he holds it tight, but his gentle hands circle my thighs. “Tell me, I will kill the motherfucker. Whoever it is, I promise you, I will avenge you.”

That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Oh, but I do. Tell me, Shannon.”

“The King of Crona. He cornered me one night when I was working late. Since I suspected there was an assault, I’d made it a point not to be alone with any of the male members of the monarchy. That night, I knew I would be working later than normal, but I wasn’t paying attention to who all was left in the wing of the castle I was in. When I was done with putting together some outfits for the queen, I checked to make sure I’d done everything I needed to.” I stop for a second, swallowing to wet my now dry throat. “The shoes I wanted her to wear weren’t there, so I left the room and didn’t lock the door to the adjoining closet. I was bent over, looking for the box that held the ones I wanted.”

“No, Shan…”

“It took me by surprise”—I take a deep breath, trying to hold back the shakes that are threatening to travel through my body—“when I felt a hand on my ass. Then there was one on the back of my neck, and I was being pressed further into the closet. It took me a few minutes to realize what was happening. The King of Crona was simulating doggy-style sex with me, while I was holding onto the carpet with my fingers for dear life.” I’m ashamed as I tell the story to him. My cheeks are heated, and I keep trying to hide my face. But I have to continue telling him what happened. If I don’t finish this now, I’m not sure I ever will be able to. “He stuck his hands up the back of my shirt and then pulled me back toward him. I was gagging because I could feel his length notching against my core. Although it was through clothes, it still felt violating.”

“Because it was a violation. No one should ever do that to someone else. He assaulted you.”

Tears fall from my eyes. “He one thousand percent did, but I felt as if it were my fault, because I didn’t do anything when I saw what I believed was the first assault. For months, I let myself be shamed, and I made myself small.” I do it again by trying to hide from him. “Then my father came at me with bullshit about how I was shaming the family because I hadn’t been proposed to. I told him to fuck himself and left that night.”

“Don’t.” Parker grabs hold of my chin. “Never try and hide yourself from me. There’s no part of you that’s going to make me think differently. The shit you’ve lived through? It’s what makes you who you are, and it’s what makes me love you.”

My heart stutters in my chest. Every time he tells me he loves me, it’s like the first time. “Parker, are you sure?”

He brings the back of my hand up to his lips. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. It’s never been easy for me to express my feelings and emotions, probably one of the reasons why I’ve done so well at my job. There was nothing to keep me from putting my body in front of Tristan’s. There’s something now.”

I throw my arms around him, holding on tight. “Do you think you should resign?” I whisper. “I don’t want that. I like working with you. You are one of the only people I’m willing to trust Amelia and Tristan’s safety to. What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to talk to Tristan and explain that having something important to me will make me a better protector. Now I understand why he wants to go home to his wife at the end of the night. I want to do that too.”

I’m sure he isn’t proposing to me, but hopefully this means we’ll be moving in that direction some point. Instead of speaking, I launch myself at him, throw my arms around his neck, and hold on for dear life.