Page 19

CHAPTER 19

TRISTAN

When I’m out of my clothing and in the shower, I tilt my head back, allowing the water to flow over my body. It’s washing away everything.

The terror, the pain, the hurt, but at the same time, the dreams I have for my country. For my family. For our future. Amelia takes the reprieve to grab a bar of soap and lather it along the muscles that make up my body now before taking the showerhead off and making sure I’m completely rinsed.

Then she winks, and I’m wholly unprepared for what happens next.

This woman can bring me to my knees, especially when she’s dropping to hers in front of me. I need this more than I realized. To know that someone loves me, that they’re waiting for my return. It’s so hard to feel any kind of emotion out in the field right now. Not when we’re taking fire every day and night. All we can do is try to survive.

But survival is fleeting, and being thankful only lasts for so long.

There comes a time when I have to have something tangible to attach myself to. Such as my fingers in her dark hair as she kneels in front of me. When she lifts her eyes to mine, and grabs the root of my cock, rubbing it against the seam of her lips.

“Take it, Lia. Give me something to live for. Something to look forward to.”

She doesn’t say anything, instead she opens her mouth and takes my cock down her throat. Her moan fills the shower and sets my body on fire.

“Son of a bitch, Lia. Take me down farther. You do this so good.”

Tightening my fingers in her hair, I use my grip to move her back and forth on my length, my toes curling against the floor of the shower. She doesn’t say anything. She just grips my cock harder, moving her hand up and down as her lips follow.

I’ve lost weight in the last few months, so it’s easy for me to reach down, grasp her elbows, and pull her up onto her knees. When she’s there, I release her hair, smooth my hands down her neck, shoulders, and then down to her breasts. Cupping my hands around the fullness, I flatten my palms, worrying the tightened nipples as I move them back and forth.

Closing my eyes, I tilt my head back against the wall of the shower, swallowing roughly as I give myself over to my wife. So many nights I’ve thought about being with her while I’ve been out in the field. That’s not completely the truth. Not only am I thinking about how hot her mouth is, I’m thinking about what our life could be like in a few years. Hopefully, we’ll have children, we’ll still be together, and our country will be at peace. “Lia, I don’t want to come down your throat.” I push those words out through my tight neck. “I want to come inside you, want to make sure my line continues.”

She pulls back, eyes lift back to mine. “Tristan.” Her tongue comes out to lick her lips, and she moves her face out of the way of the water pouring down. “Are you saying you want to have a baby?”

“Yeah.” I nod, digging my fingers back into her hair. “I want to know when I leave here that if something happens to me out there, it won’t be the end of my life. More than anything, I want you to contact me in a few weeks, and I want you to tell me that you’re pregnant. That what we’re going to do over the next couple of days is going to make a baby. Then I want to see your stomach grow with the seed I planted, your tits swelling with the nourishing liquid that will feed our son.”

She has tears in her eyes and a smirk spread across her face. “What if it’s a daughter?”

“God help the man who decides to love her.”

Getting up, she drops my cock, entwining her arms around my neck. “I want that too. More than I ever have. Give me something to live for while Haldonia is going through this dark time. I love you, Tris. Now fuck me like you’ve never fucked me before. Let’s make a baby.”

She doesn’t have to tell me twice. Reaching down, I grab her around her thighs and lift her up onto my waist. “Wrap your legs around me and hang on.” Amelia is a good girl. She always does as I ask. Together we make our way to the bedroom. Once there, I toss her down and then stand over her. My gaze runs from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, committing to memory how amazingly beautiful my wife is. It isn’t as if I didn’t know before, but the last time I looked at her feels as if it were a lifetime ago. Reaching up, I place my hand over my heart. “Everything I do after there, I do for you.”

“I know.” She reaches forward, grabbing my arms. “Now take care of me like I’ve been dreaming for you to.”

Leaning forward onto the bed, I let it take my weight as I press against her. She makes room for me in between her thighs, and I settle there as if it’s home. Her slickness shines against the lips of her pussy as I fall back onto my knees and run a finger along her heat before slipping it into the wetness.

“Oh Tristan, that feels good.”

Hooded eyes stare back at me, and I’m a bit of a sadist lately. Smirking, I look down at her. “Have you been using your fingers while I’ve been gone? They’re a poor substitute.”

“That and toys,” she admits, heat blossoming on the apples of her cheeks.

Using another finger, I spread her apart, turning my wrist so that I’m hooking them up into her pussy. Using a “come here” motion, I stroke inside, letting my thumb rest against her clit. It doesn’t take long for her hips to move against me. “What kind of toys?” My voice is wrecked. It sounds like I’ve swallowed a ton of gravel on the morning of a bender. “Are they as good as I am?”

She shakes her head, reaching behind her to grip the sheets in between her fingers. “Nothing is as good as you.”

“You’re fuckin’ right about that, wife. No one can fuck you the way I do. No one knows what you like, like me.”

Her eyes close as she thrashes against the mattress, her hips lifting, her thighs slipping further apart. It’s lewd the way she’s spread for me, like she’s the leading actress in my personal porno. My cock is bobbing out in front of us, and I’m torn between the need to reach down and give it a few strokes and the want to see her fly apart in front of me. Her eyes fly to mine, and she must notice where I’m looking, because she loosens her grip on the sheets and brings one hand down to my hard length. When her small hand wraps around it, I throw my head back, groaning loudly.

“Yes, baby, stroke that fucker. Break me apart.”

I need to feel it. The little death that an orgasm brings so that I know I’m alive. There have been so many times in the last few months when I wasn’t sure whether I was alive or if I was just surviving. Being with Lia makes all of that crystal clear in my mind. Without her? I’m surviving. I’m not truly alive if she’s not next to me. The spark of her, the way her body smells when it’s aroused, the smile on her face, those are necessary for me to thrive. With her, I’m living the life I’ve always been supposed to live.

“You’re so hard, so strong, fucking long, Tristan. I don’t remember you ever being this hard.” She muses as she moves her hand along my hardness.

It’s because I haven’t. Not being around her like I normally have has magnified every feeling I have for her—including sexual need. I’ve never been so horny while being with the object of my desire. My ass is tight as I try to stop the pleasure coursing through my body, my nipples are lifted toward the sky because of how tight my skin is, and my balls are drawn up under my cock.

When I can’t take it any longer, I move her hand aside, hold the base of my dick, and press into her. Dropping forward, I take her tight nipple into my mouth, working my tongue against it as I thrust into her body. We both groan deeply as I seat myself home.

“This is what I missed,” she hisses, digging her fingers into my shoulder blades.

I palm the side of her breast, holding it still while I use my mouth to worry her nipple against my tongue, and then take a taste with a nip of my teeth. When I’m not sure I can take holding still any longer, I swing my hips, withdrawing from her body.

Her pussy holds on tightly, not wanting to let me go. I yank my mouth from her breast, blowing hot air on the wet skin. “You’ve gotta let me move, baby. Let me fuck you. I’ll make it good for both of us.”

She reaches forward, grabbing my chin and leveling our gazes together. “Don’t take it easy on me, Tris. I want it rough, hard, however you need it, and I want a baby.”

Our eyes meet, and I see the rest of our life there. The child we’re going to have, what Haldonia looks like in the next few years, and what we hope to achieve. “Hold on then, I’m about to wreck us both.”

With those words, I withdraw completely and then drive home. It could be thirty minutes, could be hours later, but I’m still fucking her. Sweat drips off my shoulders and down into my face. My arms are shaking, knees are raw, and my cock is hurting because I need to come so badly. But I know when I do, then the first part of our time together is over. I have to face going back out into the field, and I’m just not sure I can. Not when I’m buried so deep inside her.

Amelia’s mouth opens and her eyes roll back in her head as I thrust harder. “Tris, I’m gonna come, need to come.”

I do too. Reaching between us, I put my thumb against her clit and grind into her. “Shatter for me, Amelia. I’ll put you back together.” It’s a promise built against an oath of keeping her safe.

She nods, digging her fingers into my neck as she grinds with abandonment, reaching for the elusive end to this game we’re playing. Just as her body tightens, I let go, coming hard against her, my cock jerking three, four, and then a fifth and final time. It destroys me, and I send up a little prayer that I’ll leave her something to live for if it turns out that I can’t make it back to her next time.