Page 16

CHAPTER 16

AMELIA

I’ve never seen this room before, didn’t even know it was here. When he pulls me in behind him, I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on tight, burying my mouth in his neck. Inhaling deeply, I commit this scent to memory. Something I can hang on to in the dark nights when I’m missing him. “Tris, I’m terrified you’re not going to come back to me,” I cry.

“Hey, I’m going to come back to you. There’s nothing that will be able to stop me.”

A bullet will. A gun, or someone who wants to have the reputation of saying they got rid of the King of Haldonia. But I don’t say any of this, not out loud, because I don’t want to put that out into the world. “I know. Can I have one last kiss?”

“You don’t have to ask, Lia.”

Tangling my fingers in his shirt, I yank him toward me. The kiss, which I expected to be sweet, is out of control from the moment our lips meet. We’re grabbing at one another as if this is the last time we’ll get to touch. Who knows, maybe it is. He reaches down, grabbing my thighs and presses me toward the wall.

I stumble until my back meets the concrete. Once I do, he presses me up against it and moves in between the space I’ve made there. Desperate, I grasp at his shoulders and hold on tightly. Before I know it, we’ve unbuttoned his pants, and he’s moved the gusset of my panties aside. Pressing his length into me, I groan as he settles home.

“God help me, Lia. We shouldn’t be doing this right now, but I need you. Before I go out here and risk my life, I need to have you one more time.”

“Yes, Tris. One more time. Mark me, own me, and take me. Please.”

He does exactly as I’ve asked. Thrusting in and pulling out, hitting every piece of my flesh. Burying his face in my neck, he sucks, nipping, marking me as I’ve asked him to do. It’ll have to tide me over until the next time I see him.

Tristan groans as he comes deep inside me. In my mind, I pray that he’s leaving a piece of himself there. I’m decimated as he pulls away from me. There won’t be any cuddling this time. We won’t get to lounge in the afterglow of lovemaking. Instead, he’s going to have to leave.

“I’m sorry.” He speaks quietly as he walks over to a row of lockers. “I wish I could stay here with you.”

“I wish you could too.” I’m quiet as I stare at him, watching as he reaches into one of the lockers and pulls out what I recognize as a uniform for the Haldonia army.

It’s a reminder that this isn’t some sort of video game where we’re practicing for what will happen if we’re invaded. This is reality. The type of one none of us ever thought we’d be living in. He takes off his clothes, piece by piece, and changes from the King of Haldonia into a fighter. One that appears strong and fierce, the type of man who won’t let anyone harm his wife or his country.

When he’s almost done, he steps in front of me. “I don’t want to do this, Lia. Never in my life did I think I would have to fight for Haldonia. When I went into the army, it was because I had a duty, as does every eighteen-year-old in this country. It was never with the thought we’d have to fight against someone who wanted to take our freedom away. I don’t know how to process any of this.” He swallows roughly.

And there is no time. The second he leaves here, he’s going to be expected to know all the answers to every question. He’s going to have to keep the forces ready and willing to fight. If we stumble and trip, then Crona could take the castle and the country. It’s as simple and as difficult as that. Complicated and terrifying. None of us thought we’d have to live in this situation, and I don’t know how to process this. All I want to do is have my husband wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I want him to come home to me every night and assure me that we’re going to make it.

But we don’t live in a time of certainties. Right now, we have to leave it up to chance and prayer.

“Let me help you,” I whisper, reaching up to straighten his tie. Using my hands, I brush off his shoulders and then run them down his chest. His heart is thumping beneath my palm. “Are you nervous?”

He grunts, standing up straighter. “I can be honest with you without worrying that you’ll use it against me. So I’ll do that.”

My heart breaks for him. He’s had to deal with so much since he’s taken the helm of Haldonia. So much he shouldn’t have had to. I’d love to take all his stress and pressure he’s under, shape it into a ball, and throw it out into the ocean. “I will always be the person you can come to. The one who understands you without you having to explain it to me, Tris. I’m your shelter in this storm. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll support you in that too.”

“No, I need to say it. I’m absolutely terrified that I’ll not be able to lead this country to the other side of this invasion. What will that mean for the people? Will they trust me if I don’t? Will they blame me?”

His distrust of himself is the worst part about any of this. “They will love you because you’re taking control. You’re trying to lead, not hiding when that would be easier. You’re a great man, Tristan, and no one expects you to have all the answers right now. I just need you to be safe. Please come home to me.”

He jerks my chin so that we’re looking deeply into each other’s eyes. “You are what will give me the motivation to survive every single day. Knowing that you’re here waiting for me is what I need. Visualizing the family we’re going to have in the future? That’s going to keep me fighting. I love you, Lia.”

With tears streaming down my face, I tuck my head into his chest. “I love you, too.”

And he eventually lets me go. I watch as he leaves, a piece of my heart going with him.