Page 31

CHAPTER 31

TRISTAN

There is a lot of work for us to do, but right now, all I want is to reconnect with my wife. Tomorrow will be here, and I can start on rebuilding after I take a day and night to decompress. It’s imperative I have this. There’s no way I can be a good leader without it.

Letting go of her waist, I pull her to my side, and we present a united front to the people. “Thank you all for coming out to celebrate with us,” I start, hoping my voice is clear and strong as I speak to them. “But please keep in mind that celebrating for us is one thing. Those of us who have been harmed, including the people of Crona, are picking up the pieces. We shouldn’t celebrate to the detriment of others. At the border, there are residents fleeing, trying to enter Haldonia.” I clear my throat. “We will allow them to come into the country as long as they can prove they are fleeing. Please welcome them with open arms. We, as a country, have always been welcoming to those that are seeking asylum. That won’t change.”

There is another round of applause and more cheering.

“Tomorrow we will work on getting started with rebuilding, but today I’m going to take a moment to spend time with my wife. I missed her, and I don’t know about you all, but it’s been a few weeks since I’ve been able to fully relax. I’ve proclaimed today a national holiday. Spend time with your friends and family. If your home has been damaged by Crona, there are shelters set up all over the quadrants of the country. Tomorrow we begin the hard work”—I grab hold of Amelia’s hand—“as we’ve done everything. Together.”

I breathe in deep air that’s not filled with the stench of war and death. The smell of the salt and grass washes over me and begins the healing process. One that seemed so distant when I was on the battlefield. Amelia and I wave before turning to go back into the house.

We’re surrounded by Parker, Shannon, and Maddie, along with a detail that hasn’t left my side since the war started. “Thank you all for your service. Enjoy your day off. I’m releasing all of you.” Parker looks as if he wants to argue, but I shake my head. “Nope, you’re free to take time off too. I’ve made sure this can happen. We all deserve it.”

When everyone leaves, I’m left with Amelia. It’s the first time we’ve truly been alone, save for a couple of moments since this first started. I pull her into my arms and then tilt my head to the side, kissing her neck. “Would you like to go upstairs?”

“Yes.” She grins. “I want nothing more than to spend time with you. God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Lia. Thank you for waiting for me.”

“There was never any doubt.”

Hours later, we’re wrapped up in one another. The way the bed is situated is in a way that we can see the sunset from where we are with the window open.

“Tristan, are you okay?” she questions softly. “I know you’ve seen a lot, and I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve dealt with.”

My throat tightens as I think about what I should tell her. In the end, I decide I should be honest with her. There’s no other way for us to live our lives. “I’m not okay right now. Happy to be here with you? Yes. Relieved that you weren’t hurt while all of this was going on? Yes. However, I can’t tell you that I’ve not been affected by what we’ve done. There are things I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get out of my head.”

She runs her nails up and down my chest. “Like what? Let me in to help you.”

“One night, I walked through a group of soldiers who were injured. Two of them were dying, and they reached out to me, begging that I help them as their king. I couldn’t.” I wipe at the tears that are gathering in my eyes. “There was no saving them, not with the way they were hurt. Instead of lying to them, I kneeled and held their hands as they departed the world. At least then they weren’t alone. None of that was easy, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forget any of it. It’s fundamentally changed me.”

“Oh, Tristan, I don’t know what to say.”

I shake my head, holding her closer. “There’s nothing you can say. Nothing is going to help other than time and maybe some therapy. We can’t take back what was done to us. The only thing we can do is move forward with the best of intentions. We’re never going to forget what’s happened to us, Lia, but we can overcome it.”

She sighs, burrowing her head into my chest. “I believe you. We’re still going to have the best life. It just may look different than what we thought it would. All I know is I want to be with you forever.”

Closing my eyes, I dig my fingers through her hair. “I had a lot of hopes and dreams when I was on that battlefield, Lia.”

“Yeah?” She turns her face toward me and plants a kiss onto my chest. “Tell me about what kept you going out there.”

Tangling my fingers, I drag her as close to me as she can be before I tell her. “All I could think about was us having a child, a baby that would be a sign of hope in the times we’ve gone through. I dreamed of it. A little boy with your smile and my hair. The next generation of the monarchy, conceived among all of this hate and violence. Very clearly, I’ve seen that he will be the one to settle us all down.” I don’t tell her that the dream I had was of him connecting us and Crona with a daughter from their family. It sounds insane, but it woke me up from our nightmare. It was the only thing that kept me hanging on when I felt like I was losing it while I was away from her.

She smirks up at me. “I have a feeling that’s going to happen for us, Tris. I really do.”