Page 43

Gemma

On Friday, I found a note taped to the front of my gym locker.

Gemma,

Forget what we were talking about doing today. It was just a cover. Meet me in the dojo instead. I have a surprise for you!

- Kerry

Smiling widely, I tucked the paper safely in my bag. It was the first note he’d ever written me and I wanted to keep it.

With Reilly Argaud in the wardens’ custody after Travis Peale’s testimony, I felt as if I’d been freed from a crushing weight. I didn’t have to worry that he was going to pop up somewhere to torment me or, worse, force Kerry’s control to finally crumble.

So it was with a light heart and high spirits that I changed and bounded out of the locker room, curiosity biting at me. As I sprinted across the gym, I heard Tara call my name and I waved, but didn’t stop.

What could he have planned?

And why there?

I realized my mistake as soon as I entered the dojo and someone tackled me so hard, my head bounced off the hardwood floor like a basketball.

#

Kerry

“What’s going on?”

I gripped the door handle and yanked on it again. Nope. Still locked. A bad feeling climbed up my throat.

“We’ll go out the way we came in and through the main gym entrance.” Jax walked toward the front of the locker room, but I was pretty certain what he would find, and I was right. In seconds, he was back, shaking his head. “It’s locked, too.”

We tried shouting, but no one heard us. Since we couldn’t hear the noise of the gym through the heavy wooden doors, that wasn’t a surprise.

“I hope Gemma is all right.” That bad feeling was getting worse. “I don’t like this.”

“Let’s keep positive. It could be a prank or a mistake. Do you know how to pick a lock? Or maybe we could use one of the benches as a battering ram?”

“If it’s a joke or prank, it’s a bad one.”

She was probably fine. I had no proof she was in trouble, right? But my instincts were screaming at me, and Clem’s words kept echoing in my mind.

The way to hurt you isn’t to hurt you , is it?

I paced for a moment, then made my decision, willing to accept whatever consequences followed as long as it meant my girl was safe.

“Something’s wrong, Jax. Stand behind the lockers. I dunno how far stuff’s gonna fly.”

“What’s your plan?”

“I’ma smash the door.” I rolled my shoulders, loosening up.

“What kind of plan is that ?!”

“If I’m wrong, you can yell at me later.”

#

Gemma

Reilly drove his fingers further into my braid, pulling my hair so hard it brought tears to my eyes. I shoved against him with all of my strength, hoping to gain a bit of leverage, but he was too strong.

Light glinted on something metallic in his hand, a chain with a round medallion exactly like the one Kerry had taken off of Travis Peale, and I began to panic. I did not want that thing around my neck.

I beat at him and tried to claw his face with my fingernails. I knew I wasn’t doing much damage, but I hoped it might convince him I was too much trouble.

No such luck. He released my hair, grabbed my wrists in one hand, and pinned them above my head. When he made a fist with the hand holding the necklace, I knew what was coming, but was helpless to stop it. A bomb went off in my skull. I’d never been punched in the face like that before, and the level of pain stunned me.

Then the world rocked under a huge explosion, so loud my ears shut down for a moment, and I stupidly wondered if the roof had fallen in. Everything spun. Close to blacking out, I knew I had seconds left to do some thing, so I pulled in as much air as my lungs could hold and screamed with all my might.

#

Kerry

Barrelling out of the cloud of dust, I scanned the gym and saw only stunned faces and wardens running toward us. Then a scream broke the silence.

“ KERRY!”

The dojo. Of course. They’d set a trap for her.

Without meaning to, I lit up with power and ran all-out across the gym, dodging or shoving anyone who didn’t get out of my way fast enough. Bursting into the dojo, I felt the power shut off as cleanly as if a switch had been flipped, but I expected it and didn’t break stride.

Which was why I flipped so high when a baseball bat slammed into my stomach.

I landed hard on my back and all the air went outta me. Scrambling to my hands and knees, I lifted my eyes and saw Gemma lying a few feet away, broken and bloody and still.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Not my angel!

As I started to crawl toward her, someone grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head back.

“You see, Harker, I do know what I’m doing,” Argaud hissed in my ear. “I knew she would draw you here.”

“What do you want with her?” I managed to wheeze.

“Nah, not her . She may be the most powerful one on the planet, but healers are a dime a dozen. You, on the other hand, are the only one here who has the potential to stop what I’m doing.”

Me? This was about me ?

“It’s sad, really, how you stumbled into this game.” He made a tsk noise. “You don’t even know the players or the stakes, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter since you’re about to be taken off the board.”

Something metal dangled at the edge of my vision—a long chain with an old coin hanging from it.

“I hope you enjoyed your freedom while it lasted, slave.”

Not gonna happen. Never again.

Hard as I could, I rammed my elbow into his knee with a satisfying crunch. He screamed and staggered back, and I rocketed to my feet. We sank into half-crouches and faced each other. Then his eyes flicked over my left shoulder, and I prepared to just bear the hit because I wasn’t gonna take the bait.

Thwack!

From behind me came the sound of wood smacking into flesh and a hoarse shout.

“Two on one isn’t fair,” Travis Peale said. “I suggest you sit this one out, Whit.”

I circled around Argaud, wanting to get between him and Gemma, and saw Anderson on the floor as Travis stood over him with a ball bat leveled at his throat.

Thank you, Dragon.

Cutting my eyes back to Argaud, I plowed into him without warning. He managed to clock me in the eye before I caught his ankle and yanked up. We went down with a crash. Grabbing handfuls of hair, I slammed his skull onto the floor and did it again. His eyes spun and he tried to claw at my face, but I got a knee in his gut, clamped one hand around his throat, curled the other one into an iron-hard fist, and finally let loose with all the fury inside me.

I hit him again and again and woulda went on hitting him until he was dead, promise or no promise, but a half dozen or more hands pulled me off him.

“It’s over, kiddo. Calm down.”

“Man, he’s strong!”

“Grab his other arm, John!”

As soon as they got me away from him, Argaud rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. He groaned, which meant he was still alive, and I fought against those who held me. When I realized I couldn’t break free, my mouth took over.

“I warned you what would happen if you hurt her!” Spit flew as I roared at the top of my lungs. “I’m gonna kill you! I’m gonna kill you good and slow, you mother—”

“Kerry?”

I froze. The angel’s voice was weak, but it got my attention. I swung my head and saw her standing on wobbly legs, Tara and Maddy right behind her. She took a step and went down before they could catch her, and her knees cracked hard on the wooden floor.

“Gemma!”

This time when I fought against the hands holding me, they let go, and I half-stumbled, half-ran to her. Falling on my knees in front of her, I took her upper arms in my hands because she looked like she was about to tip right over. Her eyes weren’t focusing and blood coated her front, which pissed me off even more.

Her lips moved, but I couldn’t hear the words.

“What?” I lowered my ear to her mouth. “What are you saying?”

“You promised, Kerry. You promised.”

“Aw, angel, I didn’t kill him.”

Not yet, anyway.

Her forehead hit my chest. Snot and blood and tears soaked into my shirt—and my rage deflated like a busted balloon.

“I’m sorry.” Her hands came up and latched onto my biceps. “I’m so sorry. All my fault.”

“Shut up, idiot.” Careful of her injuries, I wrapped one hand around the back of her head and the other around her waist. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Are you hurt?” She slurred a little. “You sound hurt.”

Unbelievable. Beaten and bloody and scared—and she’s worried about me . Just unbelievable.

“Hush, angel. You’re the one I’m worried about.”

“Would you take me home?”

“Of course. I’m gonna carry you, though. You’re too hurt to walk, and I really, really don’t wanna let you go right now.”

“Don’t.” Her voice was fading. “Don’t let me go.”

Then she passed out.

Panicking a little, I gathered up her limp body and tried to get her in a good position so I could stand. Nothing worked, though, and a growl built up deep in my chest.

“Kerry?” Tara crouched about a foot away. “Let me help you help her.”

She spoke quietly and moved slowly, and I forced myself to nod. If it made Gemma comfortable and got us outta here sooner, I could tolerate it. Arranging Gemma’s arm, Tara held my angel’s head against my shoulder as I stood so I didn’t jar her.

“Take her to your place, Kerry,” she murmured. “No one will bother her there.”

“Let someone try.” It came out as a snarl. If we were anywhere but the dojo, I’d be spiked up and glowing blue.

“While she heals herself,” she gave me a fierce look, “ you find a way to calm down so you don’t scare her or hurt her by accident.”

I stiffened. I’d never hurt Gemma. Tara was right about me needing to calm down, though, so I gave her a short nod and carried my girl outta there.

#

I settled Gemma on my bed, laid her head on my pillow, and carefully moved her braid out from under her.

When her eyes snapped open, I made myself smile.

“Heal yourself, angel.”

“I’m hurt?” she croaked.

“Yeah, you’re hurt.” I smiled for real this time.

“Oh.”

She closed her eyes and the edge of her power pushed against me, so I went to the bathroom and wet a washcloth with warm water.

When I came back, I breathed a sigh of relief. Her eyes were back to normal, the swelling around her nose had disappeared, and her color was a thousand times better.

Seeing the blood on her gi still made me want to rip Argaud in two, but I swallowed my rage to tend to her needs.

I leaned down and very gently cleaned her face and neck. She stayed still and quiet as her eyes watched my face the whole time. When I straightened up and turned to go back to the bathroom, she touched my arm.

“Don’t go.” Her face crumpled up. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Grim down to my bones, I dropped the washcloth to the floor and eased down on the bed, lying on my side to face her. She wiggled as close as she could and folded her arms between our chests. I didn’t know what to do, so I rubbed my hands up and down her back. I wanted to comfort her, but words weren’t my thing, and I was afraid I’d only make her feel worse.

“He scared me,” she whispered, not meeting my eyes.

“I’m sorry, angel. He’ll never do it again.”

“I was so afraid he would get that necklace on me.”

It wasn’t meant for you. Neither the trap nor the necklace. But I’ll tell you that later.

Or never.

“He made me feel so weak!”

“I told you once before, you have a thousand strengths. He set the trap in the dojo for a reason, you know. If it had been anywhere else, you could have held your own. What made you go there, anyway?”

She trembled, but explained about finding a note that was supposed to be from me.

“I wouldn’t have been able to write anything like that,” I admitted, red burning across my cheeks. “I can barely write my name, Gemma, and I can’t— I can’t read much at all.”

“Oh. Oh! ” Her eyes flew up to mine. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I’ll teach you. I’ll teach you!”

“Stop fussing, angel. It’s okay.”

“This really is all my fault.” Her fingers reached up to touch my face. “If I’d been smart enough to notice, this wouldn’t have happened! I’m an idiot!”

“It wasn’t your fault. You’re not an idiot. And I shoulda told you sooner.” I got it now. It was a weakness, something that could get others hurt, and I needed to fix it. “I would like it if you could teach me.”

“Then I will.”

Her eyes glimmered, but not with tears this time, and she cuddled closer, like she wanted to crawl into my skin.

“You wear me out.” Exhaustion bulldozing over me, I yawned, my eyelids like cement. “I need a nap.”

“Me, too.” She laid her cheek against my chest. “You were right, you know. Your bed is much bigger than mine.”

I rested my chin on top of her head and hugged her carefully, all too aware of how breakable she was compared to me.

Breakable, but not fragile. Vulnerable, but not weak. My iron-winged angel.

“At least my feet don’t hang off the end, although you’re small enough to get lost in the covers, Short and Sweet.”

Her sleepy giggle filled me with relief more than anything else could, and I watched as she drifted off. Only then did I allow myself to really understand that Argaud coulda killed her.

I couldn’t deny it any longer. I loved this girl. And that was terrifying. Something like me having someone to love was dangerous. Very dangerous. Today proved it. Just seeing her hurt had sent me into a killing frenzy.

If I ever lost her—

I’d had the same thought the day Hank and I had talked about Aspen Abernathy’s death. Now, though, I realized I’d been way off when I’d wondered what I’d do. I wouldn’t go looking for suicide-by-Diabolical.

Oh, no. I’d do something much, much worse.

But she’s okay this time . She’s okay and she’s safe and she’s where I can keep her that way .

The tight band of fear around my chest finally eased and, for the first time since I’d blasted out of the boys’ locker room, I could take a deep breath, and I fell asleep seconds later.

#

Maybe an hour later, my eyes slitted open. My brain went on high alert, and it only took me half a second to realize it was because someone was knocking on the front door. Separating myself from Gemma, I climbed outta bed and glanced back to make sure she was still asleep before I left, then pulled the door closed behind me.

As I walked through the living room, I noticed my t-shirt was crusted with dried blood and snot and stuff.

Oh, well. It doesn’t matter. I’m just gonna scare off whoever it is, anyway. I wanna get back to my girl.

I opened the door with what was probably a truly fierce scowl to find Jax stood on the porch with a bunch of backpacks. Letting out a long breath, I stepped aside and held the door open for him.

“How is she?” He dropped the bags on the floor inside the door.

“Asleep.” I went over to the couch, plopped on one end, and started untying my bootlaces. “What happened to you after I busted us out?”

“I went to find John and called Hank. The three of us ran into the dojo to see Travis Peale detaining Whit Anderson and you beating the crap out of Argaud. Then Clem showed up and took charge of Anderson while the rest of us pulled you off Argaud.”

“How much trouble am I in?”

“I don’t think too much. Everything was caught on the security cameras. Hank said Argaud will be locked up until a hearing and Anderson will probably be suspended. Well, after they heal, anyway. Mr. Snyder showed up—I think Clem called him—and he took care of the thrall necklace. You might be billed for the damage to the gym, though.”

“Small price to pay,” I growled.

“I was surprised you didn’t kill them both.”

“Death’s too good for them.”

Too quick. Too painless. I’m gonna hurt them first, and take my time doing it —

A wallop of power hit me like a fist to the jaw.

“Breathe,” Jax ordered me, “and stop thinking about torturing them!”

I blinked and the world came back into focus. Gulping in air, I lowered my head and rolled my shoulder muscles, glaring at the floor.

“You jerk!” he muttered. “You scared the crap outta me.”

“Is that mercy?”

“Huh?”

“You know what I wanna do to them. Is it mercy to let them live, to let the wardens handle it, instead of ripping their spines out myself?”

“You seem hung up on the concept of mercy.”

“I’ve been turning it over in my head since that day at lunch when you told us Clem’s name. Gemma explained about clemency and virtue, and I’ve tried , but I just can’t wrap my mind around it because it makes no sense to me!”

I clenched and unclenched my hands, too agitated to be still.

“I mean, what was the point ? To teach them a lesson? To hope they don’t do it again? It won’t make a difference. Argaud has a history of this and whatever punishments he’s been getting haven’t stopped him. How does mercy make any difference to him?”

“I think,” Jax said, “it makes a difference to you . To the one who is being merciful. Maybe it is a virtue because it shapes the character of the giver more than the receiver. And it does make a difference. To some. Take yourself, for example. The wardens were bent on capturing you to exorcize the demon. If not for their mercy, it would have killed you, right?”

“Yeah.”

And if not for Gemma’s,

I woulda done it myself.

“You know, it’s a good thing they planned the ambush in the dojo.” Jax held up his hands when I swung my head to glare at him. “I just meant, anywhere else, and you would have gone supernova on them. Who knows how much damage you could have done? You might have hurt someone accidentally.”

“No, I woulda killed someone—and I wouldn’t have cared. I almost killed them anyway. I don’t need power to do it, Jax.” I dropped my head, feeling like a fool and a failure. “I wanted to do it, and I couldn’t stop. Don’t you get it? I’m tainted! It’s not something you can fix! I’ll never be civilized like you all want me to be!”

I jumped up and paced, wearing a trail from the window to the couch. I wanted to destroy something, but not as badly as I wanted Gemma to stay asleep.

“It will get better, but it’s going to take time to retrain your brain.” Jax’s voice was calm. “I’m going to help you, okay? For as long as it takes. And so is Gemma and Gigi and Chessie and the others.”

“Warden said I needed a reason to move forward.” I stopped pacing in front of the window. “So I focused on getting healthy again and stronger because I wanted to find the man who killed my mom and return the favor. Now, though, I think I’ve been focused on the wrong thing.”

“That’s something you want . What you need is to heal. Look, can I ask you something without you killing me? And I mean that literally.”

“Gemma would be unhappy if I killed you, and I don’t like making her unhappy.” I was only half-joking, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Do you think your mom would want you to focus on revenge? Or on living?”

I growled low in my throat. We both knew the answer to that.

Staring out the window, I saw Gigi running down the garden path.

“Your lady’s coming. I’m gonna get another shirt. Let her in before she can knock. I don’t want anything to wake Gemma up.”

I went into my room and leaned anxiously over the bed. Good. She was still asleep. I wanted to touch her cheek, bury my face in her hair, hold her tight against me, but my heart thrummed with violence. My veins burned with it. Yeah, I wanted to believe I wouldn’t hurt her, but it wasn’t something I was willing to test, not when she was sleeping and trusting me to keep her safe.

Needless to say, I kept my shaking hands to myself.

“Rest easy, angel,” I whispered. “I’m here. You’re safe.”

I wondered what I should do about her bloody gi, but there was no way I was gonna try taking it off her, so I left it alone. I shot my shirt into the trash can, grabbed another one from the dresser drawer, and slipped out of the room, pulling the door closed again.

“She’s sleeping?” Gigi asked.

I nodded as I pulled the shirt on, but didn’t look at her.

“Is she okay? Are you okay?”

What? She was asking if I was okay?

“It shook her up pretty bad,” I said, “but she’s already healed herself.”

“And you?”

“I’ve had worse than busted ribs and a black eye.” I snorted. My injuries didn’t matter.

“That’s not what I meant. Are you okay ?”

I finally met her eyes and let her see that “me” and “okay”

weren’t on speaking terms at the moment.

“I will be,” I told her. “Eventually.”

“Hmm. Good enough, I suppose. Well, let’s rustle up lunch.” She shrugged out of her jacket and pushed up her sleeves. “It’s half an hour early, but it will give us something to do.”

“I don’t care how early it is. I’m starving.”

“When are you not starving?” Jax grinned.

#

Hank and August came to take our statements after lunch. August wanted to heal my ribs and Jax badgered me into letting him. He took care of my eye, too, then went into my room to talk with Gemma while Hank stayed in the living room with the rest of us.

A lot of information was coming out about Argaud’s activities now that the Council had finally decided he was worth investigating. Whit Anderson had clammed up, but Travis Peale was sharing everything he knew.

“Was Whit a thrall, too?” Gigi asked.

“No.” Hank shook his head. “He made his own choices. Now he’ll face the consequences of them. With any luck, both he and Argaud will be tried and sentenced before Christmas.”

I thought of the Council’s prison in the frozen north and made a face.

Ain’t as good as burning them alive myself , but I guess rotting away in the ice for a few decades will do.

“Argaud said something.” I stirred myself outta my thoughts. “About me and him being pawns in a greater game. And he stank of something Diabolical. Remember, Hank? I told you about that after the harpy attack.”

“It’ll all come out in his trial.” Hank’s face was grim. “The Council’s legists are like terriers.”

And that was that, apparently. Case closed as far as my part in it.

Everybody called to ask how Gemma was. It was nice to know she had so many people who were worried about her, but I told them all she wasn’t up to visitors for the rest of the day and she’d catch up with them tomorrow.

When August came into the living room, Gemma was with him. She looked at me where I sat on the couch, her teeth worrying her bottom lip. Without a word, I held out my arms, and she ran over and crawled into my lap.

A month ago, I’d nearly killed Hank for clapping a friendly hand on my shoulder. I had thrown him across the kitchen so hard, he’d gone through the sheetrock and broken his arm. Now, I wanted to stitch this girl to my side and feel that silky hair brush my neck for the rest of my life.

Small steps—baby steps—but moving forward.

August and Hank left after a while, and I talked with Jax and Gigi about Thanksgiving break coming up next week. Gigi said she and Jax always spent the holiday with her family in Tennessee, then told one funny story after another about the adventures of her crazy mother, her absent-minded father, and her little brother, who was only five.

Gemma didn’t say anything. Not one word.

She laid her head on my shoulder and held onto me like something was gonna tear her away at any second. I didn’t know what to do, so I hugged her as close as I could. Eventually, she stopped shaking and the stiffness went outta her body, so I musta been doing the right thing, even though I was only holding her.

It was dark when Gigi asked her if she was ready to go back to the dorm. She clung to me again as a tremor ripped through her.

“Don’t you want to take a shower and get changed?” I whispered in her ear. “Get outta this stained gi and into your pink panda pjs?”

She looked up at me with surprised eyes.

Did she think I forgot?

I smiled and got us on our feet. While me and Jax sorted out all the bags by the door, I heard Gigi tell Gemma she would stay the night with her. That eased my mind.

Walking toward the dorm, I carried Gemma’s bag and held her hand, and she laid her head on my arm.

“Look at the moon!” Gigi pointed, and we all turned to see the perfect circle of white rising over the mountains. “It’s so close, it looks like you could reach up and touch it!”

Full moon. Huh. Guess I lost track of time. If I was back in the Real World, I’d be—

I cut my thoughts off. I didn’t wanna think about that. I’d much rather be exactly where I was and doing what I was doing.

“It’s beautiful,” Gemma whispered, and a sigh of relief left me.

I hadn’t realized until then how much her silence bothered me.

“Yeah.” I squeezed her hand. “Beautiful.”