Page 42

42. To Whatever End It Takes Us

Kerry

“And that one? Can anyone identify what was happening there?”

Mr. Snyder was showing videos of evil creatures and quizzing us on which was which.

This one was an imp, but I didn’t raise my hand. Mr. Snyder and I had “talked” about giving the other students a chance first since I was already far ahead of them on evil recognition, so I sat next to Gemma and watched her watch the clips.

“That was an imp,” said a boy named Jan. He always sat in the front and spoke with a heavy Spanish accent. “Tiny, fast, light green glow. They play pranks to cause trouble.” “Right, Jan!” Mr. Snyder beamed. “Mischievous, troublesome, hard to dislodge once they make a home. They are solitary and sneaky. Best to get rid of them as soon as you notice them. Smaller ones can inhabit the body and cause physical ailments. Let’s try another.”

He played the video, and I glanced at it, then shifted uncomfortably. I knew all too well what was wrong with the girl on the screen and had to force myself to breathe slowly until the clip was over.

“Okay. Anyone have a guess?” Mr. Snyder scanned the room. “No one?”

He waited, but no one seemed to know, and I sighed.

“A demon has her,” I rumbled and looked out the window

In a flash, Mr. Snyder stood next to my desk, blocking my view.

“I apologize, Harker. I should have skipped this one or talked to you beforehand. I wasn’t thinking.”

I shrugged and looked down. Gemma’s small hand slipped into mine, and I squeezed it gently.

“Um, what did you see that gave it away?” A girl with pink hair turned toward me.

“Look at her eyes. The dead center of her pupils turned bright red. And look at her face. She doesn’t want to do what she’s doing.”

“Harker, this is a rare opportunity for us to hear a firsthand account of possession.” Mr. Snyder’s eyes were concerned. “If you could share with us, it would help us all understand better, but I don’t want to make you feel threatened.”

“It’s okay.” I tightened my hold on Gemma’s hand. “I can answer some questions.”

“Were your sensory faculties disrupted?” asked Jan.

I turned wide eyes to Gemma.

“What is he asking me?” I whispered, then turned my head for her answer.

“Were your senses dulled when, uh, when the demon drove?”

“Why didn’t he just say that?”

She shrugged, her eyes sparkling with humor, and I turned back to Jan.

“I was spared nothing.”

“How often was the demon in control?” asked a dark-skinned guy named Treyvon. “I mean, what percentage of the time would you say?”

“When it first happened, hardly at all. A few minutes here and there. As I got older, its hold tightened and, truth be told, I was physically able to do more things it wanted to do. Rob a store? Hard for an eight-year-old to be threatening enough to do that. By the time I was sixteen or so, it was the other way around.”

“Because the demon was stronger or because you were weakening? Ten years is a long time to be possessed.” Treyvon raised his eyebrows. “Most people would have died long before then.”

“The demon was working on it.” I smiled with the good side of my mouth. “I was at my limit when Gemma found me. I was fighting for minutes by that point. My body was giving out. That girl in the video, she couldn’t have been a victim for very long. She looked way too healthy. Gemma can tell you what I looked like better than I can.”

“Bruised, bloody, and skeletal.”

“Yeah, I didn’t get much to eat, that’s for sure. She doesn’t want to say that I was also dirty and smelled like a sewer. A demon’s invested in keeping its human host alive, but not much beyond that. It made sure I had food and water and rest when I became too weak, but it didn’t care if I was clean or comfortable.”

“Could you enter Holy ground?” asked a tall boy with a thin mustache. “Or is that a myth?”

“Nope, not a myth. I tried a few times because churches and those places are always giving out food, but the pain was too bad. Graveyards, too. Coupla times, I thought I’d crash in one, but it was the same as Holy ground.”

“Of course it was. Graves are consecrated,” Mr. Snyder murmured. “But, Harker, if you could take the pain, it’s conceivable that you could stand on Holy ground?”

“It felt like my bones were being ripped outta my body. I’m not boasting, but if I couldn’t stand it, I doubt anyone could.”

“His threshold for pain is crazy high,” Gemma chimed in. “I’ve seen him with injuries that would have sent any of us to our knees, yet they didn’t faze him.”

“He pulverized a badminton racquet with a broken hand in gym one day when Reilly Argaud pissed him off.” John actually smiled. “He didn’t even flinch.”

“Did it talk to you?” A girl in the front row stood up to look at me as she talked. “Try to corrupt your thinking?” I frowned and looked away.

“I’m not asking out of idle curiosity.” She didn’t take the hint. “I’m a healer, though not nearly as powerful as the one sitting beside you. I specialize in mental disorders. I would like to know how you kept your mind safe. The demon was with you for so many years, you had to either build a defense or go insane. Or, Gemma, maybe you had to heal his insanity?”

Gemma said she couldn’t heal the mind, only the body, and that hadn’t worked the night we met.

“A Divine healing on a possessed body?” Mr. Snyder snorted. “Oh, I imagine that was quite painful, Harker.”

“I guess. If being roasted alive is only painful.”

The girl in the front row was still waiting for her answer, and I took a deep breath.

“It talked to me all the time. It was easier to tune out when I was younger. I had plenty of time to figure out ways to protect myself. Meditation worked; I pictured building a wall brick by brick. When I was older, I was able to pull inside myself and — I dunno. Hide? Maybe that’s the right word. I hid when the demon’s voice got too loud.”

“Did you learn anything about demons themselves?” Kyo asked. “Weaknesses, thought processes? Anything helpful in facing one?”

“Well, it often wanted to do too many things at once, but ended up not doing any of them because it couldn’t settle on one. Easily distracted, I guess. It feared any mention of God. It couldn’t stand to hear anyone praying. It was proud, too, and liked to challenge any other evil thing we came across. Oh, and it was spiteful. Very spiteful. All evil things are, in my experience.”

“We have time for one last question.” Mr. Snyder looked at his watch.

“How’d you get possessed in the first place?” asked a girl in the third row. She didn’t look at me, only spoke over her shoulder. “Don’t you have to, like, accept the demon? It’s a choice, right? You invited it in. Why? What could have possibly made you agree to do that?”

Bile rising in my throat, I dropped Gemma’s hand, curled my shoulders inward, and lowered my head. The walls of my defenses were crumbling under the weight of that memory.

“Harker, do you need me to call your warden?” Mr. Snyder sounded close.

Too close.

“No, Mr. Snyder. Don’t touch him, remember? Let me try.”

My angel. Always trying to help me.

“Breathe, Kerry. Slow and easy.”

I tried, but my lungs weren’t cooperating very well. My body shook so hard, my chair rattled. Chaos seemed to be happening around me, and I wondered if Mr. Snyder was dismissing the class before I could kill them all. The dark monster inside me enjoyed that image, but the rest of me was focused on holding myself together.

Don’t lose it. Don’t let anyone see you at your weakest. Don’t you dare!

When blue sparks burst from my skin like sweat, I knew I had no choice, so I bolted.

#

Gemma

I raced after Kerry, but he was so fast, I could barely keep him in sight. He headed for the forest, taking one of the trails we’d hiked last week.

My lungs began to burn, my side felt like it was tearing, and the muscles in my thighs quivered. Still, I forced myself on, dodging stumps and roots and shivering with the cold.

Man , I’m out of shape!

As I huffed and puffed along, I fumbled my phone out of my pocket, typed a quick message, and sent it to everyone on my contacts list. Kerry picked up speed then, and I had to clutch the phone in my fist to pump my arms, pushing to keep up as best I could.

At last he slowed until he came to a stop in a small clearing. I stayed a few yards back, falling to my hands and knees in relief. Dropping my phone, I wheezed as my heart tried to escape my chest. Finally, the starbursts cleared from my vision and I could lift my head.

Kerry just stood there with his back to me, confusing me.

Maybe it’s all right. I may have overreacted. I hope the others aren’t angry that I texted them when he’s — Okay, wait. No, I didn’t overreact.

A whirlwind of sparks built around him, swirling faster and faster until it became a twister that reached higher than the trees and climbed for the clouds.

“This kid certainly has made my life interesting,” Hank’s voice came from behind me.

I swiveled my head to see his grim face as he jogged toward me. Scrambling to my feet, still panting a little, I looked over his shoulder and saw Maddy and Gigi coming up the trail at a run. A few seconds later, John arrived with Jax, ’ported out, and came back with Clem. That surprised me. The old warden’s number definitely wasn’t in my contacts.

“At least he tried to get away from everyone,” John pointed out in his pragmatic way.

“If he detonates that much power, this valley will look like an atomic bomb went off,” Clem retorted.

John said he was going to fetch Tara and zapped out, and no one spoke for a moment.

“What do we do?” I kept my voice quiet and even despite the silver lightning that now laced the tornado. I could barely make out Kerry’s silhouette inside.

Oh, my goodness, he’s strong!

John ’ported in with Tara right as Hank asked what had happened. I listened as John talked and found it interesting that Mr. Snyder had sent him for Clem as soon as Kerry had bolted. I snorted when he said Kyo had knocked Shayla out after she asked The Question, but I never took my eyes off Kerry.

“Let me try.” Jax cracked his knuckles. “I’ve held him before.”

“Yes,” I said slowly, “but he wasn’t nearly as upset.”

Jax grinned at me, pushed out his power—and staggered back as if he’d slammed into a brick wall. He took a deep breath and tried again, and I could tell he was giving it all he had.

“Enough, kid.” Clem held up one hand. “You’re draining yourself for nothing. You’re not getting through his shield, let alone that tornado.”

“John or Gigi, you need to get Chessie Catt.” Maddy’s eyes were wide as she watched Kerry’s power run loose like a kite string in a gale. “If we do get through or can get him to stop this, he’ll need her kind of help.”

“I’ll go.” John disappeared in a puff of purple.

“I could ’port in there, then ’port him somewhere isolated.” Gigi bit her lip in thought.

“That would be a lot of hops for you.” Jax frowned. “You would be so exhausted when you arrived, you might not be able to get back. John could do that, though.”

As everyone brainstormed ideas, my whole focus was on the person I cared for more than any other. All I knew was that he was in agony, and my feet were moving before I really knew what I was doing.

“Gemma!”

“Don’t!”

“Come back!”

I ignored the shouts and walked on until a hand grabbed my elbow and yanked me back.

“No.” Clem’s gnarled fingers were tight on my arm. “That much raw power would kill you if you touched it.”

“Then tell me how I can help him! You’ve been around long enough. You must know a way for me to reach him!”

“We can get you in there, but understand one thing: Even if you calm him down, and Hank thinks you may be the only person who can, he won’t be able to hold this much power for long. Tell him to release it into the sky. It’ll make one mother of a sonic boom, but it won’t kill us.” Clem looked into my eyes for a long moment. “At least, not all of us.”

I knew what he meant. It was possible that neither Kerry nor I would survive this. While I didn’t want to die, I couldn’t let him go through this alone. Plus, I believed Clem underestimated Kerry. My boy was more in tune with his power than any other nephilim I’d met so far. He wouldn’t call this much up if he couldn’t control it.

Besides, I knew where I belonged.

Clem must have read my answer in my face because he called Gigi over.

“I think Harker will be less likely to attack you than Morgen. ’Port her in there, then get yourself back here, kid.”

#

Kerry

I was so deep in the past, I didn’t see or hear anything until Gemma and Gigi appeared in front of me. Gigi disappeared almost as fast, but Gemma landed on the ground at my feet.

What the—

I knelt next to her, worried she was hurt.

“Are you okay?” I took her shoulders in my hands.

When I caught my breath, my breath hitched. Her face was flour-white, her pupils were dilated, and she gripped my forearms.

Why is she so frightened? I tore my eyes away from hers and looked around for the threat. Whoa. When did I do that ?

“Oh. Sorry.” I helped her stand and kept my hands on her shoulders. “It’s a bad memory. And it caught me off-guard.”

“I’m sorry Shayla asked that and upset you.”

“I should have been prepared for someone to.” I gently rubbed my thumbs against her collarbones.

“Kyo punched her after we ran out of the classroom.” As I snorted, she nodded toward the power storm around us. “Kerry, this tornado is pretty frightening.”

“Oh. Sorry, angel.”

I slashed one hand, freezing the wind into a clear blue wall around us.

“Clem said to release it into the sky if you couldn’t hold it.” She searched my eyes. “But I think he’s afraid it’ll kill us. You and me, I mean.”

The old man thinks I can’t control my own power? Wow. What a comedown. I guess I haven’t made much of a good impression on him. But he’s only ever around when I’m in the middle of some crisis—

“Wait. Back up. Clem told you that and you came in here anyway?”

She raised her hands to my face, her palms warm against my cheeks, and trapped me in her deep green gaze.

“We’re more than friends, remember? I will walk by your side, Kerry Harker, to whatever end it takes us.”

“Then I need to be more careful where I go,” I whispered in an unsteady voice. “I don’t wanna risk you for anything, angel.”

Burying my nose in her hair, I drew in a huge lungful of my favorite scent in the world. With a soft sigh, she rested her head in the center of my chest and her arms went around my waist.

“Kerry? Was Clem right? About you controlling this much power? Because I’m not ready to die yet.”

But here you are. You coulda left me to my fate so many times since we met, but you haven’t. You’re still here with me.

I raised my stinging eyes to the sky and let the power go as gently as I could. She gasped as the wall broke into pieces that floated away on the breeze, and I looked down at her.

“It looks like dandelion fluff!” Her eyes were wide with wonder. “You can do such beautiful things with your power.”

“Violent and terrible things, too.” I cleared my throat. She deserved to know the truth. “I loved my mother very much. She was shy and kind and gentle. She was a lot like you, actually. Anyway, one day, a stranger came to the house and he … hurt her. He was gonna kill her, but he promised to stop if I’d let a demon share my body for a while.” I grimaced. “I was nine . I believed him. I invited the demon in, and he killed her anyway.”

I closed my eyes, but only saw Mom’s lifeless eyes staring up at me as her blood cooled on the gray linoleum.

“I’m sorry.” The angel’s voice drew me away from the memory, and I opened my eyes. “And it’s not pity, so don’t get worked up. It hurts me that you went through all of that when you were only a little boy. I wish I could go back in time and protect you from so much suffering.”

“Hank says we need to keep moving forward. One step at a time, even if it’s a baby step. And there were some good things that came out of it, right?”

“Like what?”

“Clem said the demon helped me master my power. I learned a lot about Diabolical creatures and how to kill them. I speak fluent Infernal. I can block out pain. And I’m tough. Really tough. Best of all, because of the demon, I met you.”

“Kerry, none that is a fair trade for ten years of torture.”

“Are you kidding?” The good side of my mouth curled up. “To hold an angel in my arms like this? That alone was well worth the price, believe me.”

From a distance, I heard talking and realized there were others in the clearing. Shocked that they’d been willing to risk themselves to help me, I thanked them kinda awkwardly, but definitely meant it.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Chessie called.

I nodded and tugged Gemma along.

I knew they’d all heard the story and worried that it would cost me the few friends I had, but knew I couldn’t dwell on it. If someone felt I got what I deserved, it would come out in time and I would deal with it then.

It’s not like I can disagree. I may have been just a kid, but I knew what I was doing.

And I didn’t regret it, not for one second.