Page 27

Kerry

“Turn it on! Turn it on!

On, on, ON !”

Shocked, I palmed the wall and light flooded the room. I looked over my shoulder to see her sitting up in bed with a hand pressed to her chest. Her face was paper white, and she’d knocked her stuffed bear to the floor.

I let the door swing shut and took three quick strides to her side, then knelt on the floor and gripped the edge of the mattress as I tried to figure out what to do.

She made the choice for me when she reached out and touched one of my hands with the tips of her fingers. It was like she was asking for permission, so I offered it to her. Immediately, she picked it up and held it tightly between hers. When the terror in her eyes started to fade, she turned red and looked away.

“Sorry,” she whispered. “I’m just more vulnerable than usual right now.”

“Calm down,” I whispered back, “it’s okay. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

“You don’t have to do that.” She still didn’t meet my eyes.

“I know I don’t have to. I want to.” I tugged my hand away, scooped her bear off the floor, and laid it in her lap. “Now snuggle in with your teddy and go to sleep.”

“His name’s Sir Martin. I couldn’t sleep without my old bear, so August got me a replacement. He’s not the same, but he’s nice.”

She hugged the bear to her, its cheek against hers, and my heart squeezed up.

Adorable. So freaking adorable.

Before I did something dumb, I turned and sat on the floor with my back against the bed. After a moment, I felt her sink back into her nest of blankets, so I stretched my legs out and tried to get comfortable on the cold tile floor.

Aw, I’ve slept in worse places.

I listened as her breathing settled, her face close enough for me to feel little puffs of air on the back of my neck.

“I’m scared of the dark,” she confessed.

“I’m aware.” My lips quirked up.

“Stupid, huh? I’m a coward. A baby.”

“Nah. We both know what lives in the dark. Of all the fears people have, it’s the one that makes the most sense.”

“You aren’t afraid of the dark.”

“Why would I be?” I lifted one shoulder. “I have the skills and strength to fight it. And for too long, I was the dark.”

“You aren’t afraid of anything.”

I stared at the wall. A few months ago, she woulda been right. Now, though, I had something to lose.

Some one , to be exact.

And that brought on a whole new world of worry. What if Argaud got past me? What if one of his friends did? The idea of her being hurt was a torture worse than anything I’d endured in my old life.

If anything ever happened to her …

My hands began to shake, so I tucked them into my armpits.

“Kerry, can I — Would you mind if I — ”

When it became clear she couldn’t or wouldn’t finish, I swiveled my head to look at her. Her eyes were closed and she lay on her side with one hand under her cheek. The other hung in the air above my shoulder.

She wanted to touch me again.

All right. I can suck it up and take it. For her. I owe her so much, I can give her this little thing back.

I turned to the wall again.

“Angel, do anything. Ask anything. Take anything. Anything at all. You save me over and over. Whatever I can give in return is yours.”

Slender fingers touched my head, slowly at first before growing braver. I closed my eyes as she gently slid her hand through my hair and rubbed my scalp with her thumb.

I remembered how she’d done this on the day she’d helped me back to the cottage. The first day I attended Fight Club and came within a second of killing Argaud. I’d scared her that day, and her fingers had trembled as she’d tried to soothe me.

Now, she slowed in stops and starts until her fingers came to rest on the curve of my shoulder. I waited to make sure she was asleep before I got up and looked down. Her face was relaxed and her pink rosebud mouth hung open in a tiny O.

I didn’t understand when or how it had happened, but she’d dug a hole in my chest and climbed into it, and I had let her.

Let

her ? I snorted quietly. I handed her the freaking shovel.

I reached down and adjusted her covers, careful not to disturb Sir Martin. When I stepped back, I bumped into the desk behind me, heard a rattle, and saw I’d knocked over a cup of pens and pencils. I fixed it and sat it near a stack of index cards.

A thought occurred. I flicked on the desk lamp, took one of the cards and a pencil, and sketched for a coupla minutes. Then, putting a thumb on the center, I loaded it with as much power as it could hold.

I wanted her to find my little gift when she woke up, but it might not make sense without a note. My handwriting was so awful, though, she’d never make it out. And it would take forever to sound out the words I needed, anyway. In the end, I decided to take it with me and ask Warden to do the writing. Then I could get Gigi to sneak it back here tomorrow.

Someone knocked on the door. When Gemma didn’t stir, I hoped whoever it was would go away. At the second knock, I tiptoed over and pressed an ear against it since it didn’t have a peephole. I didn’t know who might be standing there, and I didn’t feel ready to meet one of her friends without her.

“Gemma?” called a familiar voice.

“Gigi, you gave me a heart attack.” I opened the door, then held the card and pencil out. “I need you to write something on this.”

“Okaaay. Can I come in? Where’s Gemma?”

“She’s sleeping.” I stepped back and let the door swing shut behind her. “Where’s Jax?”

“Same. Poor boy. He can never make it through an entire movie.” She shook her head, curls bouncing. “But it’s unusual to see Gemma asleep this early.”

“Um.” I rubbed one hand on the back of my neck and shuffled my feet.

“Did you do something?” Her eyes narrowed at me.

“No! She did it!” I pointed a finger at the girl who slept soundly in her bed. “She just wouldn’t stop until I let her try to heal my back. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen. She’s so pigheaded!”

Gigi’s sudden laugh caught me off-guard. I cut my eyes at her, not sure if she was laughing at me.

“Yes, she can be so stubborn, it’s silly. What is it you want me to write on here?” She held up the card and slid into the chair at the desk, then looked at the sketch. Her mouth dropped open. “Did you draw this?

I nodded. Now that I had a volunteer, I was almost too embarrassed to tell her what this was about.

“Just say it already!” she huffed. “I’ve heard more corny things from Jax than you can imagine. It can’t be worse than what he teases me with, believe me.”

“It’s nothing like that! It’s just directions,” I gave in and told her, then leaned over to watch as she wrote in careful, neat letters.

“You wrote exactly what I said, right?”

“You can see I did.” She frowned at me.

I didn’t know what she saw in my face or my eyes, but she whipped her hands up and over her mouth.

“You can’t read!”

The muffled words hung in the air between us for a second, then I took a step back, shut down, and closed up. My vision turned red around the edges, and I knew I needed to get out of there.

“Just leave it on the desk,” I bit off the words and moved back. “She’ll find it when she wakes up.”

“No, wait!” she called, but I was already out the door.

I took the stairs. All ten flights. And it still wasn’t enough. I needed to go for a run. It would clear my head, but I wasn’t dressed for it. Jax had stuffed me in a close-fitting button-up, dress pants, and oxfords. Even if the clothes didn’t split at the seams, the shoes would slide all over the place.

Forgot my sweater. Ah, well. Not going back for it.

Deciding to change, I headed for the cottage and was unlocking the front door when my phone rang. I didn’t crush it when I pulled it out of my pocket, so I guessed I was stable enough to talk to someone.

“What did you do?!” Jax shouted. “You made Gigi cry! Where are you? I’m going to — ”

Gigi took over the phone, although I could still hear Jax ranting in the background.

“Kerry, I’m sorry!” she hiccuped. “I won’t tell anyone, not even Jax, if you want to keep it a secret.”

Freaking crybaby girls!

“It doesn’t matter. I think he figured it out a while ago, anyway.”

“I wasn’t trying to be mean. I just realized it at that moment and blurted it out without thinking.”

“I know. I’m sorry I made you cry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she let out a wet snort. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time I’ve been moved to tears.”

She hung up, and I slid the phone back in my pocket.

I was wiped out. Although a part of me still wanted to run, the rest of me demanded sleep, so I kicked off my shoes and hit the bed. Not too much later, I heard Hank come in to check on me, but didn’t bother getting up. I was so worn out, even the nightmares stayed away.