Page 13

Kerry

“Jax and I have a surprise for you!” Gemma was practically skipping as she walked beside me to the locker rooms the next morning. “We have permission to do something different for gym. We think you’re going to enjoy it!”

I glanced down at her. She hadn’t said a word about yesterday, so neither did I, but I was working up to thanking her for healing my hand. And I knew I needed to apologize. Well, I supposed I owed her two apologies. I would get to those, too.

Eventually.

“What are you up to?”

I said it nice, too. I hadn’t snapped at her once so far this morning, and I wanted to see how long I could last.

“Nothing to hurt you or upset you, I promise!”

Like that reassured me. People only say things like that when it is something to upset you. She must have noticed I wasn’t too happy—like I said, she was quick—and she stopped walking and looked up at me.

“Oh! You must hate surprises.” She smacked herself in the forehead. “I really am a dummy!”

“Don’t do that. You need your little brain to work right. Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Jax had an idea about Fight Club yesterday at lunch and we went to our wardens and had it arranged for today. We’re going for a hike!”

I blinked.

A hike. Doesn’t sound too bad.

“Wait. Who is the ‘we’ part?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“You and me and Jax.”

“Just the three of us?” I wanted to be dead certain.

“Yes. It will get me away from Reilly and his friends, and give you space at the same time.”

Even as ruined as my body was right now, if I snapped, she might be able to defend herself a little, but it wouldn’t save her. If Jax came, though, it should be all right.

“Okay. I can try it. Where are we hiking?”

“The surrounding forest. Jax says there are trails that go for miles. Since we only have an hour, we’ll pick a short one for today.”

Then Jax came walking up, carrying his school bag and a new-looking backpack.

What did a guy do for money around here ? Are there jobs on campus? Must be. Gemma said she worked at a school store.

Maybe later, when I was more human, I could look into it. Or I could ask Hank to take me back to New York so I could dig up one of my loot boxes. I didn’t have a penny to my name here. And Gemma and Jax would know it.

Uh-oh.

I was getting a bad feeling about that new backpack. Yep. I was right. Jax was holding it out to me. I said a word on Hank’s no-no list and didn’t take my hands out of my pockets.

“Jax wants to be your friend. And a friend can give another friend a gift.”

The angel’s voice was soft, but strong enough to loosen the muscles turning to iron under my skin. I took a few deep breaths before I looked at her.

“Don’t be a crybaby!” I snarled when I saw her face. “I already owe you two apologies. I don’t wanna add any more!”

For some reason, Jax turned his head away and his shoulders shook. Dude seemed like he was an okay guy, but he musta been a little crazy. I mean, who else would want to be my friend?

But I’m supposed to give something back, right? I tried to remember, but it hurt my head to dig into my oldest memories. I think I can remember Mom telling me you have to repay kindness with kindness.

I half-turned to block out Jax and leaned down to whisper in Gemma’s ear. I musta surprised her, though. She jumped a little and her eyes widened.

“I don’t have anything to give in return. What do I do?”

I moved my ear to be level with her mouth so she could whisper back. It took her a minute, but she answered.

“You can, um, owe him, I guess, and pay him back later. But friends don’t think of it as a debt. Friends give because they want to. Because it makes them happy to do so. Take his gift today and think of ways to repay him tomorrow.”

I cut my eyes at Jax. The guy was still holding out the backpack and smiling. I bent my mouth to her ear again.

“Would you help me figure that out later? Please?”

“Yes.” She didn’t whisper, but it didn’t matter.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened up and turned to Jax. I took one hand out of my pocket and reached toward the backpack. My fingers almost touched it and I stopped, afraid he might yank it back to tease me or something, but he didn’t move, so I grabbed it. It was heavier than I’d thought it would be, and I opened the zipper to find a pair of brown hiking boots.

“Come on. Let’s get changed.” He headed toward the locker room. “I want to hit a trail!”

I zipped the bag and started to follow him when Gemma caught my sleeve and tugged. I raised my eyebrows, and she flapped her hand at me.

Maybe she wants to whisper.

Soon as I leaned down, she started jabbering away.

“That made Jax happy. It would make him even happier if you could say thank you sometime.”

She took off before I could answer, but I thought about what she’d said as I went into the locker room. Jax was already half out of his dressy school clothes and had a blue t-shirt and jeans laid out on the bench, so I hurried to catch up. Shucking my sneakers, I pulled the boots out of the backpack and shoved my feet into them.

“They fit.”

“I got your size from your warden.” He propped one foot on the bench next to me to tie his bootlaces.

“Thanks.” I ducked my head, uncomfortable.

But Jax was chill and just said, “You’re welcome.”

#

As soon as we reached the trailhead, my head snapped up and my eyes went everywhere. I ran my fingers over plants and trees as we passed them, but when I reached for a patch of stringy-looking green leaves, Gemma tried to stop me.

“No! That’s stinging nettle. Don’t touch it!”

“I can do what I want!” I reached down and grabbed a handful and didn’t stick my tongue out at her like I wanted to.

“Do you need me to heal you?” She grabbed my sleeve at the wrist and shook it until I dropped the green stuff.

Growling, I yanked out of her hold and put a hand on her shoulder, but I made myself be gentle as I shoved her away. Even though I was irritated, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her.

Jax laughed at something, but I ignored them both and walked away.

Soon I started going off the path, dodging in and out of the trees. I’d lived my whole life in a big city, surrounded by asphalt and steel and garbage. This was a whole new world and it was interesting. I was checking out the sharp layers of a pine cone and wondering how much shading I’d have to do to draw it right when I heard Gemma’s voice. She sounded upset, and I bolted toward her.

“It was horrible, Jax. His skin was stretched so tautly over his bones, it scared me,” I heard her say as I ran back to the trail. “And the scars! He has so many, one on top of the other.”

I came to a dead halt right in front of her, and she drew back with wide eyes.

“You were there that night?” I bit off each word. “After the demon was cast out, you were really there?”

Tension wound around the three of us, and I knew it was coming from me. Jax got between me and Gemma, and I wondered if he thought he could stop me if I lost it.

“You were dying,” she said slowly. “You needed healing.”

“I know I was dying.” I was getting impatient and panicky. “Answer me. Were you actually there?”

“Yes, I was there. I’d volunteered to come if you needed healing after the exorcism, so August, my warden, called me when you started to fade.”

“You saw me!”

“Yes. Kerry, it’s okay. Really.”

She’d betrayed me.

I’d been stabbed in the back several times before, literally in one case, but I never felt it as bad as I did this time.

I’d trusted her. I’d trusted her when I hadn’t trusted anyone for years.

Guess that was a mistake.

“It’s not okay! You’ve just been my friend out of pity! You only hang out with me because you feel bad for me!”

“That’s not true!”

“Calm down, Kerry.” Jax lifted his hands.

I skipped away and threw up a shield to either absorb or block whatever he threw at me.

“What else did you tell him?” I shouted at her. “How bad I stunk? How dirty I was? Did you tell all your friends how I pissed and hurled everywhere?”

“No, of course not! I didn’t tell anyone about that. And I only told Jax what I did because he’s worried about you. Kerry, please, I’m begging you—”

“Stay away from me!” Power filled my hands with blue fire. “I trusted you, but you’re just as bad as everyone else!”

“Please, don’t do this. I wanted to help you that night. I’m your friend because I want to be. No other reason.”

See? This is what you get . This is what you get for trusting someone. For thinking something like you could have friends!

She came closer, but I backed away.

“I HATE you!” I screamed.

The last seams of my control burst, and I lit up like a bonfire.

You’re gonna hurt her. And you promised you’d never do that again. RUN!

So I did.

#

After a few minutes, I could pull back the power enough to put out the flames. I followed the path back to school grounds, then went east, changing directions whenever I ran into people.

Why did she pretend to be my friend? Did it make her feel good to be nice to the scarred freak? Was she getting back at me for almost killing her?

After I’d been running for about thirty minutes, Hank appeared. He didn’t say anything, just ran by my side. When the sidewalk ended at an intersection, I stopped and stood with my hands on my hips and panted.

“Let’s walk a bit to cool down.” He turned around, and I followed without thinking.

We walked for several blocks until our breathing settled. He didn’t ask any questions or try to lecture me. That was the best thing about him. He let me stew or vent without pushing or prying.

When we passed by a gas station, he went inside for some bottles of water while I paced around the parking lot. Sticky with sweat and exhausted, I dropped to the curb.

You idiot!

You stupid idiot! Even if she was friends with you outta pity, it was more than you coulda hoped for. She’ll never talk to you again now and you have no one to blame but yourself.

Hank came back with the water, sat down beside me, and handed me one. I twisted off the top and guzzled it down, then crunched the plastic into a lump. My eyes weren’t staying open too good and my mind was shutting down. Losing my temper like that always wiped me out.

No, that isn’t exactly true.

What exhausted me was stopping myself from killing anyone when I lost my temper.

The next thing I knew, Hank was telling me to get into a car, and I did what he wanted because it would get me home faster.

“Warden?” I yawned as he climbed in on the other side. “When I wake up, can you help me figure something out?”

“Sure. What do you need?”

I sighed and let my eyelids fall. “Forgiveness.”

#

Gemma

I couldn’t stop crying.

Jax reminded me Kerry was still like a child emotionally, but that only made me sob harder on Gigi’s shoulder.

“He was so hurt!” I wailed. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my mouth shut!”

Now he’ll shut down and retreat into himself

and want nothing more to do with me.

“Gemma, he would have found out eventually,” Gigi said.

“He’ll never talk to me again! He already doesn’t like me. Now he hates me!”

“My little brother has told me that a few times. He doesn’t mean it. My mom said children get wrapped up in a feeling and can’t think beyond it. They don’t know how to deal with it, so they dump it all out in a tantrum or yelling. Once they calm down, they can be reasoned with, but it takes time for them to learn to control their emotions rather than be frightened by the strength of them.”

That helped a little.

“Your mom’s pretty smart.” I hiccuped.

“She’s a scatterbrained hippie,” Jax said and Gigi laughed, “but she knows about children. She is a kindergarten teacher.”

“So what should I do?” I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

“Give him time to calm down,” Gigi suggested.

“Then, when he comes back to school, treat him like normal.” Jax shrugged one shoulder. “Sit beside him and let him follow you around like a puppy as usual.”

“He doesn’t follow me around like a puppy!”

They traded a look.

“He doesn’t !” I insisted.

“Tomato, open your eyes.” Jax grinned.

“You just heard him scream that he hates me! And he’s already told me he doesn’t like me!”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Jax shook his head.

“And if he told you he doesn’t like you,” Gigi smirked, “he was lying.”