Page 6 of Only Everything (The Obsession #1)

TAUREN

“Come on. A little more. It won’t be much longer.”

“Longer? Emmett, we haven’t even made it to the actual trail that leads to the rock wall or whatever. Then you want to climb up to some lookout? We’ve been walking for over an hour. We should have gone to the other site. This…”

I gestured to emphasize my point, watching as the looming trees seemed to thicken as we headed in deeper. With the darkening clouds barely giving light through the canopy, I felt trapped. The backpack I wore suddenly seemed to weigh a hundred pounds, making it hard to keep going.

“This is too much.”

“Too much? Come on, Tauren, you can do this.”

My nose scrunched through my look. “You do remember who you’re talking to, right?”

He laughed, slowing to hold my hand. “I know you can do this. You’ve been through a lot in life. What’s a trail and some rock climbing?”

All I could do was look up at him with my unenthused half-ass grin. His blond hair was wet with sweat, and even his shirt was sticking to him. Before I could mention that, he pointed.

“Look! Right there. That must be the trail.”

I followed the direction of his finger. “Where?”

“There. That opening between the two trees.”

“You mean…the opening between the trees…? Emmett, it looks like that between every tree.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tauren. It’s clearly marking the trail. It’s in how they’re leaning.”

“Leaning?” I cocked my head, trying to comprehend what he was even talking about. Leaning? Was this a hiking thing I knew nothing about? Or a bullshit thing, which I happened to be an expert in.

“It shouldn’t be much longer now. The trail is only about two miles around, and then we’ll go up from there.”

I jerked to a stop, but Emmett was already slowing to turn back to me.

“There’s no way.”

“Taur—”

“There’s no fucking way. We’ve already walked that far. Have you lost your mind? Can you not hear me dying over here? I’m damn near sucking air through a straw.”

He laughed. “You’re being dramatic.”

“Actually…I’m not.” I threw my hands up but kept my tone soft. “Emmett, listen, I know you’re excited about seeing this lookout. I’m sure it’s fantastic. I’m telling you, though, this is beyond me. I’m trying so hard to?—”

“Trying hard?”

At his deepening tone, I wanted to close my eyes in defeat. In what I knew was coming.

“I’m already tired.”

“ You’re not even trying .”

“What do you mean? I’m here. I’m attempting, but I know my limits.”

“Do you? How? It’s sure not by pushing them. Anyone could see that.”

My gaze narrowed. “Why don’t you just say what you’re implying?”

“Do I have to? For two years life was great. Third year, you were trying, but I could see you were pulling away. Ever since Reid?—”

“Enough! My brother has nothing to do with my weight. That’s what’s bothering you, right?

I’ve gained a few pounds? I don’t go to the gym with you anymore.

I eat what the hell I want. I’m not following your every order.

Reid didn’t cause that, you did . You. I’m a person, Emmett.

One who knows how to make their own decisions.

I see that now. I don’t like the gym. I like candy and chocolate.

I love my fucking job.” Emmett curled his fist as he glared down at me.

“I’m allowed to have choices. They don’t have to align with yours.

If you don’t like how I choose to live my life?—”

“Don’t you fucking say it.”

I knew better than to give a response. Good, bad. It was the bait. Emmett was just waiting for me to set the hook. The moment I did, he was going to bite my head off. Maybe worse.

“Walk, Tauren. Keep going. ”

I stayed still, slowly shaking my head. “I told you; I can’t do it. I don’t want to.”

“Move your fucking ass.”

When I still didn’t step forward, he grabbed my arm, locking on tightly as he began to pull me at a swift pace.

“You’re doing this fucking trail and climb. You’re forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. I’m so sick of hearing you say you can’t do something. You’ll keep going until your legs don’t work anymore or you’re incapable of enduring another step.”

“Emmett, let go of me.”

Still, he pulled me through the thickening trees, holding on with crushing strength. As the trail seemed to narrow, it did give way to a little more light, but with how dark the clouds were becoming, I wasn’t sure the point of continuing.

“Emmett.” I slid on foliage, barely managing to stay upright. If it hadn’t been for his hold still pulling me along, I would have fallen. “Emmett, I said stop!” I gained footing, jerking back my arm. “You’re hurting me.”

“Hurting you?” He surged forward, V’ing his hand at my chin to dig his fingers and thumb into my cheeks. “This isn’t hurting you. Keep going, or I will.”

“You’ll hurt me?” I grabbed his wrist, squeezing as I tried to pull back.

It only had his other hand flying up to hold the back of my head so I couldn’t break free.

“Fine. You don’t want me to give up. Okay, but listen to me.

I’m tired, it’s far and it looks like it’s about to start raining.

The sky is dark. The wind is picking up.

Let’s make camp or rest a bit. Then we can continue on later if this passes.

We’ll be here for days. We don’t have to rush. ”

“Walk, Tauren.”

Tears blinded me. Not from the pain but because I knew this defeating existence.

If I kept rebelling, if I continued to fight, he was going to hurt me.

My father had done enough damage that I knew how bad it could get.

Emmett may only have hit me once, but he’d crossed that line.

It’d be smooth sailing from here, and it was too isolated for me to take any risks.

“Tauren.”

The warning was clear. I bit down hard clamping my mouth closed as I jerked back and started walking. The tears fell, and I let them roll down my cheeks as I stared angrily ahead. Footsteps sounded as Emmett made it to my side.

“There. See. Was that so hard? You don’t need to rest. Pushing you to do this will be good. You’ll see just what you’re capable of. It’ll be hard, but an accomplishment. You’ll thank me later.”

Right. I’d be sure to thank him in the “fuck you” letter I left behind when I took all my shit.

Whistling filled the space, and I found myself walking faster just to get this stupid hike over with.

I wanted to be to the climbing already—the end.

I wanted these miles to pass just so I could finish for the day and sleep to escape him.

Bastard. How had I managed to put up with his shit for so long?

Why did it feel like my eyes had only just opened or some fog had cleared from my brain?

Maybe I knew why.

Hearing my brother wasn’t okay—hearing him so unhinged months ago…

and today—the way he’d yelled my name. God, it had triggered something in me.

Pain, ye s, but there was a darkness I held for him.

One that used to scare me. But hearing him so unstable.

It triggered something worse than possessiveness or longing.

A piece of me broke. How was that even possible?

Wasn’t I shattered enough? How the hell had we gotten here?

How did I let this happen? I did. This was all my fault.

Reid… He loved me. He never would have treated me like this.

A sob tore through my thoughts. My world was spinning and spinning—Emmett—Reid—my father—Becky—life.

With every step, I could feel the throb in my face where Emmett’s fingers had dug into my skin.

And I was here again. No power. No say. I could still see my father from that night.

He’d been so drunk. So angry when I’d come in from my fast-food job.

Becky was sitting on the floor in her diner uniform, crying, holding her face.

I saw letters strewn all around, some torn, some crumbled—Reid’s letters to me.

And then my father turned, pointing the gun right at my face.

I sucked in air, nearly choking on the new sob, trying to catch myself through the episode that seemed to come from nowhere. Everywhere.

“Come on, Tauren. You’re seriously going to throw a fit because I’m making you do some exercise?”

I spun so fast, I couldn’t stop myself. I reared back, swinging and pounding into Emmett’s chest. My fist clipped his jaw and despite that I saw his stunned expression turn dark, I couldn’t get myself to obey.

Emmett’s wide eyes narrowed, and his top lip pulled back through the rage I’d unleashed.

My intuition was screaming to run, to duck, to fucking stop.

I couldn’t. Pain exploded across my temple and eye, and the force from Emmett’ s hit had me crumbling and falling to the ground.

Light went in and out, wavering as I nearly fell over.

The high-pitched tone was all I heard. My vision blurred, mixing with shades of orange and brown from the autumn leaves.

Earth.

Dirt.

The smell engulfed my senses.

“You’ve done it now.” He reached down, grabbing my backpack to jerk me back to my feet. “Move your fucking ass and walk.”

I cried harder, stumbling as I tried to get the stars to stop dancing in my vision. Every time I started to veer from lightheadedness, Emmett righted me from behind. I knew better than to turn or speak, so I did what I did best.

I disassociated.

I bowed.

I seethed…

What felt like ten miles passed as we weaved through a trail that went from groomed to wild.

The width went in and out, and I wasn’t sure anyone had been through in years.

I stepped over fallen logs in a blur. I ducked under thick vines and foliage like a robot.

It got to the point where Emmett had to push through a curtain of green just so we could continue.

When the trail finally opened, reality became all too real.

I gasped, nearly collapsing at the sight.

There was no climb. There were only a few feet before it dropped off to a cliff. It wasn’t beautiful as I stood there with the wind whipping my hair in my face. Not with who was beside me. It was terrifying.

Mountains stretched for as far as I could see, and the mass of trees and wilderness left me lowering to sit on the ground as I stared ahead at the desolation in horror.

The landscape was picturesque with the bright beautiful leaves and storm clouds looming not far in the distance.

It was straight out of a painting. But it also signified a fear I was too frightened to consider.

I was alone, and with a man I couldn’t trust. I didn’t think Emmett would severely hurt me, but I hadn’t thought my father would kill Becky either.

There were no rules to murder. There was no beginning or end.

There was only an act. The body was a fragile thing.

It could take unlimited trauma, or one action alone could take your life forever.

Every fight with an abuser was Russian roulette.

My time was ticking down with Emmett, and it was going to get a lot worse before I could leave and make it better.

“Isn’t it amazing, Tauren?” Emmett crouched just behind me, moving in so close that his breath brushed the side of my aching cheek.

“Have you ever seen anything so spectacular in all your life? It’s intimidating, isn’t it?

Vast. Open, yet confining. Seeing how high we are in the center of it all, aren’t you glad you toughed it out and listened to me? ”

I couldn’t stop the trembling at how close Emmett was.

For the first time in my life, I knew true fear.

I hadn’t felt it when Becky flew from the floor and lunged for my dad.

The shot had left me frozen. Blood sprayed across my face at the closeness, showering me with the warmth.

I didn’t think he’d meant to react that way, but as shock turned to dawning on his face, my world stalled.

I couldn’t recall breathing. I didn’t even think I moved as his eyes came to me.

Disgust. Hate. His hand shot up, and he turned the gun so that it fit inside his mouth. No pause. No hesitation .

Bang!

An eternity could have passed for the impact that had on me.

I was confused. Petrified. Nothing. Ice.

The next thing I knew, I was screaming. I was tearing at my hair and sobbing.

But fear wasn’t present. Here with Emmett, not feet from the edge of a cliff he could have thrown me over…

I felt sick. The ground was rolling under me as I dug my fingers into rock, and there was nothing I could do about it.

“You’re in awe. I know how you feel. I felt this way the first time too.”

I blinked, trying to process words I knew were wrong.

“It’s beautiful. First time? I thought?—”

Emmett pulled me to my feet, kissing my forehead.

“It was only a small lie. Just a little one.” He grabbed my hand, lifting it while he pulled a small box from his pocket.

“What are lies when they’re in our best interest, right?

” He opened the box, taking out a diamond ring and sliding it on my ring finger.

“Had I been honest, you might not have come. How could we have made it to this point if I would have told you the truth?”

I looked down at the ring on the hand he still held. I wasn’t just shaking anymore; I was damn near convulsing at how hard my body was twitching and jerking.

“You want to marry me?” Panic. It was in every word as I tried to calm myself and stay upright. “But I ruined the surprise. I?—”

“Shh.” Again, he kissed my head. “You did what I said. You obeyed. You pushed yourself. That’s all I wanted you to do. Our day’s not ruined.” He smiled, cupping my face and kissing me. “It’s only just beginning.”