Page 13 of Only Everything (The Obsession #1)

REID

Happy.

Hope.

Home…

After almost two weeks with Tauren, I felt like a new person.

Like someone had revived an old piece of me and brought it back to life.

We laughed about funny stories I told of my time in the service.

I confessed secrets I wasn’t supposed to tell a soul.

She cried as she relived all the horrible shit Emmett would say and do to her.

Every second we were glued to each other, talking, engrossed in conversation, in sync.

Neither of us could get enough. And not just of the sex.

We had a lot of that. But of being friends again.

Of having every piece of each other. I never wanted it to end, even if I feared it would.

I couldn’t lose this part of myself again.

I’d been dead, and now I had been reborn.

I was hers. I always had been. Tauren was my only reason for living.

“Don’t move. Don’t breathe . ”

Tauren’s hand rose, and she slowed as she approached the large house of cards we’d spent the last hour building up.

She looked over at me giggling like we were kids again.

My smile stayed even though it was like time had stopped.

My heart swelled, and I tried to ignore the voice that kept warning me to pull back.

To distance myself so I didn’t make the same mistake I’d made before.

It was the only thing that always led to an argument.

“It was an interview, Reid. An interview,” she emphasized. “You leave in two weeks. Where did you think I was going?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“To bike to a job interview? Bullshit. You knew how excited I was about this. Why would you hide and follow me? I told you I’d be fine. I said I’d see you when I got home. The same thing happened last week when I went with Becky to get groceries. You followed us. I saw you. Why are you doing this?”

“You don’t need a job.”

“I want one! Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not. And I get that you want a job. That’s fine, but it’s not always safe. You should have just let me drive you ? —”

“You’re not listening. I didn’t want a ride. I want you to back off. You want to be with me, but I can’t breathe when you get like this. I can’t think. Sometimes you’re just… you’re too fucking much. Let me be!”

“Too much?”

“Yes, Dammit. You never listen to me. Listen. To. Me.” Her hands came up to drive the point home. “I love that you’re protective. I love that you watch out for me. I do not love being monitored like a child. I don’t like you not respecting my wishes. Please…just…stop!”

But I hadn’t. Nor couldn’t. Not that she busted me again after that. I’d been very careful not to get caught before I left. Tauren didn’t understand how I had to be there for her. With her. If she was in my presence, she was safe.

Just maybe not from me.

“Reid?”

Tauren’s concerned voice had me blinking back the onslaught of thoughts and memories that wanted to come.

“Sorry, what?”

“You disappeared there for a little bit. I was talking to you, but you didn’t hear me. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I forced a grin. “I’m just hungry, and we’re about out of food. We should probably run to the market in town.”

“ Oh .” The house of cards came crashing down as Tauren’s hand gave the smallest jerk. Alarms went off. I knew that tone.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can go by myself if you’d like some time alone.”

Each word had been harder to say. The last had been damn near impossible to push through my clenched teeth. I didn’t want to leave her. I wanted her with me. At my side. Holding my fucking hand as we played house and bought groceries.

Who was I kidding? She’d never hold my hand in public. Not so close to our hometown. Not where people might know our relationship.

“Alone? I…” A defeated sigh left her.

“You never have to be alone if you don’t want to. Taur, let’s do what we used to talk about all the time. Let’s run away together. ”

Tauren’s lips parted in confusion. Her brow wrinkled but softened as she burst out laughing, losing the tension that had been building in her anxious features.

“Run away? To where? For what?”

As if it weren’t obvious.

“To…Montana.”

Her eyes widened. “And you’ll be a cowboy?”

I paused. “I’ll be a cowboy for you. And we can get a small little ranch, with some horses and cows.” I leaned over the pile of cards, grabbing the hand that was just to the side of her bruised face. “Moving might not be such a bad idea. It could be a fresh start for both of us.”

Tauren shifted, lowering her gaze to the table.

“That’s…crazy. Montana is so far away. My work is here. My friends. I…I don’t know. I was going to move before because I didn’t have a choice, but only to the next town over. Emmett—” Her head went down, but I reached over the table, bringing her face back up so she’d look at me.

“Taur, Montana was just an example. We could go anywhere. Just think about it. If you want to stay, we stay. But…I think for the future, moving might not be such a bad idea. Even if it is only a few towns over. It’s got to be better for us than here.”

She didn’t speak for a long moment. “Maybe. I’ll think it over. I guess it is about time to go home and face the world again even if?—”

“I wasn’t saying you had to leave, just… leave with me . Or stay. I want you here, at my house.”

“I can’t live here, Reid.”

Her voice sounded defeated. “Why not? It’d save you money. I own this place. I bought it with cash from Mr. Wheeler when I got out. I don’t mind you here. I love the company.”

She forced a smile. “So do I, but before I make any big decisions, I need to try to do this on my own. For me. You understand, right?”

No. I fucking did not understand. Nothing about what she said resonated with me whatsoever. Especially since she didn’t sound confident about it.

“I told you I’d help you find a place or move you in. Furniture’s pretty heavy. And I have a truck.”

“I’m afraid that option isn’t on the table anymore. Not now that he won’t be keeping the apartment to finish out the lease.”

“Oh…right.”

She stood, leaning over the table to press her lips into mine.

“I should get my things. You can drop me off before you head to the market. It’s on my side of town anyway.”

“Already?”

She tilted her head.

“There’s that pout I know so well. It’s time. I have to go back to my life. To my job. I can’t keep delaying. Thank you for letting me stay until I was better. It really means a lot.”

I stood, stepping around the table.

“You’re not okay with going back. I can see it.”

Her gaze searched mine. I saw the conflicting emotions as I reached for her hip.

“I hate how you can read me so well. Staying there knowing what he did. Surrounded by his things. Our things… I don’t know how to face it. I can’t even stomach the thought.”

My hand cupped her bruised cheek.

“I can stay with you for a few days. I can be a distraction until being there alone grows on you. I can do the shopping. I can clean and pack up his things while you’re at work so you don’t have to see them.”

Tears welled in her eyes.

“You’d do that for me?”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do. You need me. Let me finally be there for you. It’ll help me too. Then, I’ll leave so you can adjust to your new life. I promise.”

“Maybe a day or two wouldn’t hurt. Just until I feel comfortable.

I really don't want to be alone yet.” Although her head was up her eyes were down.

They stole peeks as she took me in. “I hate how weak I am.

I hate how I'm scared of everything. I don't want to be afraid anymore.

Two days, Reid, maybe three, and that's it.

I have to do this on my own. I'm always going to wonder if I don't try.”

I smiled, cupping her cheeks as I brought her lips to mine. Relief. I had a little more time to convince her. She’d see…

“Two to three days. You got it. And then you’re going to do this, Tauren. You’re so damn strong. You’re going to see that…and then you’ll want to be with me.”

Her lips separated only to close as she placed her hands over mine as I still held her face.

“Reid. I love you. You know I love you. And you love me. But I’ve been telling you for years, we can’t be together like that. ”

“Not here, no. Why do you think I want to move? Taur.” I could feel my fingertips pushing down as I closed my lids and leaned in quickly kissing her lips.

Thoughts and fears consumed me, and I forced them down as I stayed hovering just outside of her mouth.

“You’re mine, and I’m yours, and I can wait until you feel it’s right. Okay?”

I opened, pulling back to look at her. Tauren’s nod was slow, only to turn quick.

“Good. Let’s get your things so we can go shopping and then back to your place. Do you want to bring the cards? Dominoes?”

“No, we’re going to do movie night. Something…funny. We’ll grab some popcorn, some candy…” Her eyes glazed over, and her lip trembled. “I’m sorry.”

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Something upset you.”

Tauren quickly wiped the tears away as they fell.

“I can’t do it. I can’t go back there. I-I can’t.

I shouldn’t be having fun. Not there. I shouldn’t—there at his place?

Our place? Laughing and being happy?” Anger took over her features.

“And fucking. Of course we’d be fucking.

We should. I should fuck you on every space I can in that apartment.

He hated you so damn much. Asshole. That fucking asshole!

He h-hurt me . He could have killed me. Just like him, like my dad. ”

Her hands flew to her face and the sobs had me pulling her in to hold.

“Fuck them both. You’re not going back. I’m not letting you.” Tighter I held to her. “Just thinking about it has you falling to pieces. Lose the security deposit and stay with me while we look for a new place for you.”

“I hate him. I hate him . He ruined me. It’s all my fault. I should have never let him bully me into returning after the first time I left. I’m so fucked up, Reid. You have no idea. Worse than before. I have so much fear. So much hate for myself.”

“Shh.” I kissed against her head. “We’re going to fix this.

I’m going to help you. Popcorn. Candy….and I’m going to steal your TV while you pack your clothes.

You have plenty of time to be strong. You deserve to be taken care of as you work through this.

I’m going to do that, and you, you’re going to face this head on.

Not with me at your side. I’m behind you.

I have your back, but you’re leading. Okay?

I’ll give you your space.” I turned her, pointing to my couch.

“My bed.” My finger moved over to my bedroom door.

“Your room. I won’t take no for an answer. You’re staying. ”