Page 3 of Only Everything (The Obsession #1)

TAUREN

“I feel like I forgot something. Did you see me pack extra socks?”

“Tauren, you packed them.”

My brow drew in as I glanced at Emmett, shaking my head. “Sunscreen?”

“It’s in my bag.”

“ Bug spray .”

“There it is. That’s it. We’ll grab some before we take the mountain turn.

After that, we won’t come across a store for a while.

” He smiled even though his blue eyes were narrowed.

“I’m glad I could talk you into this trip.

I know you’re not much of a hiker or rock climber, but I figured the view would more than make up for the trouble. ”

I forced a grin, not so sure. Emmett was right. I wasn’t big into the outdoors. I wasn’t athletic. I never cared to be. I was content with my everyday life… in the air conditioning…away from the mosquitos, snakes, and spiders .

“I’m surprised Mr. Darcer even let me off. It’s cold and flu season, you know. We’re already short staffed at the pharmacy.”

Emmett huffed under his breath, rolling his eyes as he stared ahead. “You’re a pharmacy tech, Tauren. Your job isn’t that important. Anyone could do it. I’m sure it was easy for them to cover for you.”

“I keep telling you; I do a lot more than you think I do.”

He glanced over. “Which means nothing. Let’s not fight. You’ve had your time to learn what you can. You’ll just continue school. Then, you can actually make something of yourself.”

“I like what I do now.”

“We’ve talked about this. It’s nonnegotiable. You need drive. Goals. You haven’t been motivated to do anything since?—”

“ Don’t .”

Emmett’s hand tightened on the steering wheel and surprisingly he changed the subject. “This is a good little vacation for us. We haven’t had a break for months. We hardly even see each other now that I’m working nights.”

“It won’t last much longer.”

“Too long for my liking.”

“Yeah.”

The word came out more as a sigh than a response.

“That’s all you have to say about it? Yeah? Maybe you prefer when I’m not home. Maybe you’re waiting for your brother’s keeper to reach out to you again. Unless your brother already contacted you and you’re not telling me about it. ”

I tried not to flinch at the increasing anger in his tone.

He just couldn’t let it go. “Why wouldn’t I tell you?

I haven’t heard from Reid in months. Lucus called last week because he was concerned for my brother.

He asked if I had heard from him since supposedly he’d come back to the area.

I told him no; we hadn’t talked since my birthday.

Lucus was coming down to check on him, so he told me not to worry.

I don’t hide things from you, Emmett. You know that. ”

“ Yeah .”

I let my gaze cut over to stare out of the window of his new truck, ignoring how he was mocking me.

Our relationship was toxicity spiked with optimism.

Sure, we had good moments. Affectionate and loving ones, but the reality was just as cold as he was, and no amount of hope or deluding myself would change that.

Love couldn’t rule a person who was filled with hate.

It didn’t matter what happened, Emmett’s true colors always broke through.

Degradation and gaslighting were his specialties.

They were in the heart of every conversation, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t justify or stomach how I continued to take his abuse.

Each flash of disgust, every lash from his tongue when he lost his temper.

They were there, circling and eating into the already damaged parts of me.

They were picking my insecurities apart even more until I believed them.

How could I not with how frequently Emmett demoralized me?

Years…. Four… long… years. The memories spun around, never leaving, drowning me with the weight of the truth.

“You put your phone on vibrate? What are you hiding? Who are you talking to? —Oh, I see what’s happening, you thought by making my lunch you could somehow erase the fact that you don’t have a job— Wait, you can’t work there.

A pharmacy tech? You can’t be serious. — What do you mean, you missed the deadline for spring semester?

I’ve been reminding you to get in your information for weeks.

Me, reminding you . I’m not even the one who needs to go to college.

That’s you. I’ve done my time. But you… No.

Stupid… Idiot. Fuck, Tauren. Sometimes I think you were born without a brain.

No wonder you’ve never made anything of yourself.

It’s like you want to stay trash your entire life.

Have I taught you nothing? I can’t keep carrying this weight alone.

You might as well not even work with the shitty amount you bring in now.

You’re going back to school, and you’re starting in the fall. ”

Stupid. Lazy. Nothing I did was enough. Between what he saw as my faults, to his jealousy for Reid, he was getting worse.

At least I could make excuses for the school issue, not that I should have had to.

If I decided to attend college, I wanted it to be because furthering my education was my choice, not because he was making me. Emmett didn’t see it that way.

His word was law.

He had the final say.

And not just about school, but on everything.

From my clothes to music to food. Nothing I did was good enough.

The more time that passed, the more he found wrong with me.

Delaying, excuses, they were all getting harder to come by.

Emmett’s patience was running thin, and our arguments were escalating. To what… I was too afraid to find out.

“It’s been a while since we went anywhere outside of Asheville. With as much as I work, lately, it’s like I live there. Being a cop is great, but I miss our drives. We used to cruise out this way just to dream of our future. Do you remember that?”

I glanced over, taking in blond hair and blue eyes. His once handsome face was replaced by a numb dread I wasn’t ready to feel.

“I do. Those were good times.”

“The best. Everything will come together soon. You’ll see.”

Emmett smiled, but all I could manage was a nod.

The only thing in our future was a war. I had to leave.

This wasn’t real. The happiness wouldn’t last. It never did.

We’d get this trip over with, and then I’d continue apartment hunting in the surrounding towns.

I couldn’t stay near Black Mountain. I’d left Emmett before, twice, but he always found ways to get me to come home.

He was always there. Always close. I couldn’t keep getting confronted, guilt tripped and threatened at every turn.

I had to break free for good. The verbal abuse had taken its toll, and with the beginning of the physical abuse starting, I knew where this was leading if I continued down this path.

I had to start over. I had to break free.

Miles passed as we went deeper into the back roads.

I let the longing take me over. The guilt.

My heart had been aching for Reid over the last few months, and it was only getting worse.

He’d sounded so…broken the last time we’d talked.

He could barely keep it together as he wished me happy birthday.

It destroyed me to hear him that way. I’d kept us apart so he’d stand some sort of chance at a future, but even with that decision, I’d made life for both of us worse. So much fucking worse .

What had I done by pushing him away? By denying myself the one person I needed? Loved… No. I couldn’t think about that.

“I was talking to James?—”

“Officer McMillian, your partner?”

“Yeah, he told me of this great spot he frequents. It’s a bit further back than where I originally planned to take you. Maybe another fifteen or so minutes up the road. A bit off-the-grid, but nothing we can’t find.”

“But…we did all that research. The one we agreed on had the hikes and climbing for beginners. I can’t?—”

“Sure you can. You’ll be fine. James said his wife didn’t have any problems, and you have me. I won’t let you get hurt.”

Words wouldn’t come as I searched Emmett’s smiling face. My stomach twisted with knots. Deviating from our plans felt…wrong.

“Alright. If you think I can do it.”

“I know you can do it.” He winked, his good mood flooding back as he returned his focus to the road.

But I didn’t like it. I felt uncomfortable, and I knew it had to do with my lack of trust. Emmett said I needed a new therapist, but he didn’t understand that it wasn’t her. It was him. It was me. It was my past.

Tauren the troublemaker.

Tauren and her bad luck.

Cursed, careless, dumb Tauren.

No wonder I had stayed in this relationship so long.

I was oblivious to the signs. I ruined everything I touched.

Everyone I loved died or became broken. It was probably the reason why I first fell for a man that was forbidden and was now trapped with one who refused to let me go.

It’s what I deserved. The thing was, I was sick of accepting that.

I didn’t want a savior anymore. I wanted to find one within myself.

I wanted to run away from it all like I should have done years ago and start fresh.

Become…new. Control. Power. I had to find that within myself. Somehow...

“The store’s right up the road. We’ll pick up some bug spray and snacks. I’m excited for you to see the overlook James was talking about. It seemed like quite the site. Apparently, you can see for miles. I wonder if we’ll see anything good?”