Page 19 of Only Everything (The Obsession #1)

REID

I was stupid to let myself get attached too quickly.

I’d opened my heart despite knowing Tauren could rip it to pieces, and now I was seeing my fears play out.

And not just concerning her independence.

I did want her to have that, but I wanted to feel secure about our future too.

I didn’t. Paranoia said Tauren was using me.

Maybe not even intentionally, but I couldn’t shake the red flags that kept me distant.

Something wasn’t right. It was the missing link between her being with me and leaving me, and I was too obsessed with her to see it.

The veil of infatuation was hiding the truth, and with it, I could feel the madness within saturate my sanity.

I had to step back.

I had to see.

The need for space had come and gone. I gave her what she wanted. But then something happened. She was more direct. More… watchful of me. What was I missing?

My eyes went to my open bedroom door for the hundredth time.

Footsteps padded along the wooden floor, and my lips pressed into each other as she got dressed for her job hunt.

Again. We kept doing this same dance. This same every day fucking routine.

The first day we walked to the waterfall.

The second day, she job hunted while I secretly followed.

Afterward, I took her to the cave I’d found on one of my runs.

The third day, she left again—I left—and when she returned, we strolled my usual path as I pointed out landmarks, telling her why they were important.

Each day—a week—more days, Tauren was forcing herself out.

But I saw her relief when she finally made it home.

She was getting stronger, and she seemed to enjoy our time together.

But where did she stand? Where did we stand? Friends. Best friends?

If only it were enough. It wasn’t with the way she was changing and becoming stronger. I was trying to be patient. I was trying to be supportive. After all, wasn’t that what love was all about?

Maybe for normal people.

I wasn’t normal; I was a machine. It didn’t matter that I was stalking her.

Or that I had a tracker on her car. Or even that I’d started carving her name into my forearm as I bled out the time she was jumping from business to business for applications.

Nothing mattered but the overall picture we were working towards, and fear screamed she was going to see that she was too good for me.

I was… needy. A wreck without her. She had to have seen that.

Dark hair swayed as Tauren peeked out of my door. I was sitting on the edge of the sofa, my hands clasped as I kept my arms resting on my lower thighs. My head was angled down, even if my eyes were cut up. I immediately eased to sit as her lids narrowed the smallest amount.

“You okay? I was just checking to see if you were awake. I figured you were. I don’t think you sleep for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Sorry, I was going over my plans for today. I heard you moving around, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Oh.” Tauren stepped more into the threshold. She was wearing a soft pink dress but was still barefoot. Her fingers gripped to her hem while she rocked on her feet. “Plans? Do you have errands to run? Or were you referring to doing something here?”

There it was. There was something more than curiosity lurking. Was it the concern in her tone? Sadness? Yearning? I had to get her to be open and honest. I needed to shake things up, or we’d never get past this stage. I owed her time. How much more did she need?

“It’s complicated.” I kept my attention at her expression as she clung to my every word. “Pretty dress. It looks good on you. Are you going job hunting again?”

She glanced down, waving her hand in dismissal.

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know . I was going to but—What do you mean, complicated? What are your plans?”

The wheels in my brain turned as I took in how antsy she was.

She kept shifting, almost impatiently, and her fingers were starting to twist into the dress.

I didn’t think Tauren was hiding anything from me, but maybe she needed a push to test her feelings?

Something was messing with her head the longer time went by, and that thing had to be me. Us.

“Are you okay? Do you need to talk about anything? ”

She paused, and my fear grew as the time stretched out.

Was she looking for words to say she wanted to move on? Was she looking for a way to let me down easily? Everything was going so well, wasn’t it?

“… No. I’m fine. Just curious about your plans. What are they?”

Desperation. “I got an email last night from one of my friends I was stationed with reminding me that they’re passing through. They want to spend the day together. Maybe even do something tonight.”

She smiled. “That sounds fun. Is it Lucas? I haven’t met him in person yet. I think I’d really like to. He obviously cares for you.”

I kept the emotion off my face, instead watching hers.

“Brittany.”

The smile melted, and a cascade of expressions flashed.

She took a small step back, letting her gaze drop through what I knew were racing thoughts.

She hadn’t been prepared for me seeing another woman.

Maybe it had never even dawned on her. Hell, it was immature and desperate, but I had to see how she’d react.

“…Oh. Of course.”

“I could cancel if you need me.”

Her mouth opened but closed.

“N-No. I…I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll job hunt after all. I mean, I do need a job.”

She paused…waiting? When she turned to leave, I let her.

A small bang sounded, followed by one louder than the last. I leaned back on the sofa, waiting.

When Tauren finally walked out, she was wearing a pair of white flats.

He r hair was pulled back loosely, and aside from the mascara, she didn’t have much makeup on like she usually did.

“Did you want me to pick up something for dinner?”

“Eh.” I shrugged. “I really don’t know yet. She mentioned going on a possible hike, grabbing lunch, and then maybe catching a movie. I can text you. I’m not sure how long that will take.”

Tauren grabbed her purse, clutching the keys from the counter.

“Wow. Are you sure you’re both just friends? That sounds more like a date.”

“She wishes.” I laughed. “We’re friends.”

For seconds, Tauren waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, she gave a curt nod.

“Alright. I’ll worry about my own dinner. Have fun. I’ll see you later.”

Just before she got to the door, I sat forward.

“Tauren.”

Her dress flared out as she spun back to me. Hope? I knew that look. That emotion. It was there…lingering. Waiting for me to tell her I had changed my mind.

“Yeah?”

“If I’m not home by eleven, lock the door. And the deadbolt.”

Her nostrils flared and the anger grew. She slammed the door shut, stomping back in my direction.

“Are you insinuating you might be spending the night with her?”

“Would you give a shit if I did?”

Back and forth her head shook. Tauren gripped to the strap of her purse, adjusting it on her shoulder as she shifted on her feet. The hurt in her eyes was so thick I could taste the betrayal she felt for me.

“No, Reid. Fuck whoever you want. I’m out of here.”

I lunged from the couch, grabbing and spinning her to me before she could so much as take a step. I forced her to lay on the sofa as I covered her body with mine. Pressure pushed against me, but I quickly pinned her wrists down with one of my hands.

“Let’s try that again.”

“Get off me. Was it all lies? Or maybe this is just a game to you. You love bomb me until I’m so confused, and then you just pull back like nothing you said matters.”

“That’s not me, Taur, that’s you.”

“At least I’ve been honest about it. I can’t say that for you. Who’s this woman, Reid? An old girlfriend?”

“I never dated her or anyone.”

She thrashed against me, and I adjusted above her, adding more pressure to my hold.

“Did you fuck her?”

“No.” I kept my tone light, intentionally.

“I don’t believe you. You said she wished this was a date. She wanted you. She probably still wants you.”

“I’m sure she does.”

Something just short of a growl left her. “Get off me, dammit. I have to go.”

“Go? Like this? All angry and throwing a fit?”

“I’m angry because you lied.”

“Whoa. Watch it .” My tone came out so deep it had Tauren looking like a deer in the headlights. “I didn’t lie about how I feel for you. It’s you who can’t make up your mind about us. You can’t even say you won’t be with anyone but me. Yet, you expect me to do the same?”

“Because I needed time. I…I thought—” More she struggled, thrusting out her chest as I breathed heavily through the fight. Tears were so full in her eyes, they were on the edge of spilling free. “I hate you!”

“You love me. You’re angry.”

She jerked, fighting harder to break free. “Damn right I’m angry. Is she pretty?”

“I’m sure you’d think so.”

“You don’t?”

My head lowered as I let my lips hover and brush over hers.

Tauren made a deep sound. She jerked her head but not far enough to where I couldn’t reach her lips.

As I lowered, her head turned. With our struggle, the unbuttoned sleeve on my flannel gave view to my carved-up forearm.

It had her gasping and spinning to face me.

Tauren

Tauren

Tauren

I squeezed my hold so hard she cried out.

“I’ve only ever had eyes for you. You know this. All I fucking want is you. But I want all of you. I want us together. To hell what anyone else thinks.”

Tears spilled free, and Tauren turned away from me as she sobbed. I closed my lids, calming, and tugging against her ear lobe, nuzzling against her face. A soft sigh left her, and her body softened. I immediately pulled back, and it had her words rushing out.

“I want…I’m trying so hard. Reid, I really am. I?—"

“I know you’re trying. You know where I am when you’re ready. Be safe out there. Like I said, if I’m not home by eleven tonight, lock the door and the deadbolt. I have the key.”

“ Asshole . Do us both a favor and don’t come home at all.

” The softness left her as Tauren pushed from the sofa, angry all over again.

She snatched her purse from the floor where it had fallen and didn’t look back as she barged through the front door, slamming it shut behind her.

My lips twisted, and I hated lying and seeing her upset.

I reached in my pocket to pull out my phone.

When her car started and gravel crunched from her tires, I pulled up the app from the tracker.

“Sorry, baby, but something’s not right.

I don’t think you’re seeing the entire picture, and I can’t have that.

We’re right there. You want me. You want this.

You just need to be reminded of it. All I need is for you to say you won’t see other people.

I need you to commit to something. Just… fuck. Choose me, dammit. Me .”

My whispers carried through the empty cabin as I headed for the counter to snatch my keys.

Tauren’s car made it to the end of the long dirt drive, stopping at the main road.

For a good minute, she sat there. Where I expected her to turn left, my head tilted as she turned right.

She wasn’t going to Asheville like I expected.

She was headed the few miles to our hometown. Back to Black Mountain. Back home .