Page 31 of Ondine: Vol. 2

The man grabs both my hands.

“Oh my god are you ok?” I immediately recognize the voice. I know this person and at the same time I am so confused. I don’t believe it.

Arnie.

How is Arnie right here? His glass-green eyes absolutely shimmer in the sunlight. His strawberry blonde hair is all messy and unkempt. At the Clinic it was always perfectly combed and gelled. His freckles stand out. Have I ever seen him in the daylight or just under the fluorescent bulbs inside the Clinic?

He’s wearing a black cable-knit sweater and light blue jeans. I’m looking him up and down and back up again. My mouth is hanging open. What is happening right now? Why is Arnie on the peninsula?

“Ondine, are you ok? Did you get burned?”

Burned? Oh my hands, I look down and they are still red. Who cares about my hands?

“Arnie?” I ask and just saying his name out loud makes my eyes water. My chin quivers.

And now I’m crying.

“Ondine, honey. Don’t cry.”

I launch myself at him and wrap my arms around his middle. I’ll let go if he does anything to show he doesn’t want this. I’ll let go.

I swear I’ll be able to do it.

But Arnie doesn’t grab my arms or push me away. He hugs me back. I bury my face in his collar. My body shakes while I keep crying. Arnie rubs my back.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” I chant over and over. It must be pretty incoherent because Arnie has to adjust my head so my mouth is uncovered by his sweater, so he can understand me.

“Ondine, honey, why are you saying sorry?”

I pull away and wipe my face. I take deep breaths, willing myself to calm down. “I’m sorry I’m crying. And I hugged you. I’m such a fucking mess.”

Arnie takes my hand and leads me off the street and into a Greek restaurant we are in front of. “Can we use your restroom? My friend burned her hands and I need to run them over cool water,” Arnie tells the host. He tells us where to find the bathroom.

It’s out the side door and down the alley.

It is a public bathroom, a single stall room. Arnie locks the door and turns on the water and directs my hands underneath the flow. He looks more like himself under this harsh lighting.

“Is that better?”

“Yes.”

He puts his hands on my face and wipes my tears with his thumbs. He has some sort of wrapping around his index finger.

“Why are you crying?”

I shake my head. “I’m just being stupid.”

“Ondine,” he sighs.

“Why are you here?”

He hesitates. “I’m shopping. I saw you through the window, but you didn’t see me. God, I missed you.”

My lips quiver and I have to bite them to stop it.

“Arnie, I’m so sorry for what I did to you. Did you lose your job? I can’t believe that happened. Are you ok?”

His face hardens, and I brace myself for the inevitable collapse. I’ve been anticipating this moment for weeks.