Page 30 of Ondine: Vol. 2

He’s still sitting on the phone, which means he hasn’t said what he called me to say. I wasn’t going to bring it up just yet, but he must want me to.

“I noticed in your email, that line about inter-pack…” I can’t even say it out loud.

“Was that presumptuous?”

My throat is suddenly very tight. Jake told Ondine he and I should be able to pursue a private relationship. And she’s now on her way to the house. Is she ok with the terms? These last five years I’ve given up on the idea of us being intimate. I’ve seen him treat others just like me. A couple weeks together, and then nothing. The only times he deviated from that was when he marked me, and then with Ondine.

Had he wanted more with me the whole time?Don’t get too excited, Shadow, I tell myself. I need to wait until Ondine returns. I don’t know when he decided that he should ask for this, all I know is he did.

“Why?” Is all I can manage to say.

“Because that’s what I want.”

I gasp for air, not realizing I’d been holding my breath, and for some reason I find I’m on the verge of tears. My hand flies to my face to keep it together.

“Oh, Shadow…” Jake whispers to me.

I wipe my face down a few times and try to catch my breath.

“I wasn’t waiting for you. For this. I swear I was fine.”

“You weren’t fine.”

I have to hold my mouth shut again, afraid I will start crying.

“It’s going to be ok. You finish up the nest and I have more things I need you to do. Ok?”

I nod my head even though we are talking over the phone. He says goodbye and we hang up.

I can’t believe that happened. I can’t believe this is happening. I look at the pamphlets in my hands. Then I start reading. Very quickly I get down a rabbit hole of videos of lectures and research articles.

11

Cold Feet Red Hands

Ondine

Sebastian was sitting in the lobby the whole time. I finally noticed him when his security agents walked up to talk to him. Freddie was equally surprised.

He’d never left.

Sebastian tells his men to pull the car around so they can take me to the peninsula. He also goes upstairs to get my things for me. It’s so easy for him to take care of me, and I hardly even notice it’s happening.

Freddie kisses me goodbye and he and Sebastian watch me drive away. I feel better knowing that Sabbies will be with him.

The drive is way too long. By the time we get onto the peninsula, I need a break.

“Stop! Let me out here. I’m going to get a tea before we go the rest of the way.” I need a second before I see Jake. I missed dinner and I need some fresh air.

I make them stop and they park the car a block away from the walk up cafe window, and stay close, but I go ahead on my own.

The chill in the air is a little biting. My cardigan, a knitted cream sweater, hangs off one of my shoulders. I think the pink dress looks prettier without it, but it’s spring and it’s too chilly without it.

I order my tea and look around the downtown area. They call my name and I get my drink and decide I need a little walk.

I recognize this street. Fuck—Boone’s office is nearby. I do not want to run into that guy. I’m looking around, trying to ensure his truck isn’t parked around here. I have my hot tea in my hands. I’m paying so much attention that I don’t notice the man right in my pathway that I run right into, crashing the hot tea down his shirt and the back of my hands.

“Ow!” I screech and drop the cup. My hands are bright red.