Page 47 of On My Side (Quiblings #3)

Audrey

Playlist: All My Life | Kina Grannis

Sky’s Sluts

SkysMainSlut: guys it just occurred to me that sky could have a girlfriend. Or a WIFE. Does that ruin the fantasy for anyone else? Knowing he could be like so happy with this other woman and we have no chance with him.

AshBash69: …

SkysMainSlut: like he could be in LOVE! With someone who’s not ME!

LadyRebel93: i say this with all the love in the world, but i need you to look up parasocial relationships and go to therapy.

AshBash93: personally, i hope he does. I hope he has someone who makes his life better than any audio he could record, and makes the words he say true. Isn’t that what we want for the most part? To be loved and to love that person who gets us?

SkysMainSlut: and what if that person is me?

LadyRebel93: THERAPY. NOW.

“It’s weird not breaking into this building,” I observe as we climb the stairs to his third floor apartment. I’m trying to not sound like I’m about to drop dead, because damn , stairs are hard , and we’ve only climbed the first flight.

My hand is clasped firmly in Ren’s, and suddenly, so is my waist as he spins me and pins me against the wall in the stairwell. “ Whoa ,” I breathe, eyes wide at the unexpected maneuver.

But that might be my own fault, really. If I can expect anything from Ren, it’s that I can never know what to expect from him. And yet, I know he’ll be steady and consistent too. He’s a contradiction and a thrill.

Ren drops my hand and grips my hips with both hands, pressing himself to me. I bite back a moan when I feel how hard he is already. What is this man planning to do to me in this studio of his?

“You know,” he says, voice low as he leans into me, mustache brushing against the shell of my ear.

It makes me shiver with want and anticipation.

“I’m thinking you might actually be the bad girl they always said you were.

” He drops his lips to the hollow of my throat and leaves a warm, open mouth kiss. “I fucking love it.”

“You know I’m not the bad girl they said I was,” I correct, voice trembling as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. “I’m the bad girl you’ve turned me into.”

He groans into my neck and squeezes my hips hard enough to hurt, but not so hard I want him to stop. “Even better—I get you all to myself.”

Then the son of a bitch kisses my cheek, steps back, and winks . “Shall we continue?” he asks, taking my hand in his again.

“You are a sick, sick man, Lorenzo,” I grumble as we continue our trek to his apartment.

“Lovesick, you mean,” he teases, squeezing my hand.

“No, just sick.”

We finally make it to the third floor and he unlocks the door. Immediately, Princess Leia is weaving between our legs, screaming her discontent.

“You’d think I’d never fed her a day in her life at that volume.” Ren says, shaking his head as he closes the door behind us. “Or she didn’t have an automatic feeder.”

“ Meow! ” Leia screeches in response, staring up at us with big green eyes.

“To be fair, I believe her,” I tease, nudging his side with my elbow.

“You’re a mom , Audrey,” he says playfully, stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around my middle. I lean back against his chest, the steady thump thump thump of his heart a soothing rhythm. “I know this isn’t how you parent your daughter.”

“According to said daughter, Leia is actually her baby, which makes her my grandbaby. Aren’t parents required to throw away their parenting values when they become grandparents in favor of spoiling them?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I really don’t care or know.” He buries his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply. “You smell incredible, and I want to make you come.”

I dig my teeth into my lower lip, and I squeeze my thighs together, desperate for relief. “Take a shower, then you can show me the studio, then we can go home and we can spend the night counting how many times you can make me come.”

He kisses my temple and drops his arms from around my waist. I’m immediately unsteady without his strength supporting me. I turn to face him, surprised by the intensity in his eyes.

“Audrey.” He says my name so slowly, like he wants to keep the sound of it on his lips for as long as possible.

“That’s me,” I say quietly.

He smiles softly and cups my cheek with his hand, running his thumb over my lower lip. “Fuck, Aud. I—”

My heart is pounding harder than it ever has before. Is he going to tell me he loves me? God, I want him to. I desperately, desperately want him to say it. But instead he drops his hand, a forced smile on his face, and my heart sinks. “I think you smell good.”

“You said that already,” I say softly, averting my eyes to hide my disappointment.

“It bears repeating,” he responds, voice low. “I’m going to shower real quick, okay? Make yourself at home.”

How am I supposed to make myself at home when home’s the one walking away?

When I hear the shower turn on, I let myself explore his living room. Leia followed Ren and now sits outside the bathroom, so I’m alone.

Above his couch are framed pictures of him and his family through the years.

A picture of all ten of them at Kat’s wedding.

A picture of a teeny tiny bespectacled Ren and a grumpy Jo, I think, each holding a teeny tiny baby.

I smile, remembering the day Mr. and Mrs. Quinn brought the twins home, and how excited we’d been to each hold them.

A picture of him with his parents at his college graduation, and him and all of his siblings at what looks like his high school graduation.

My heart blooms as I take in how much love he grew up with.

I know it wasn’t perfect, because he received that love, and somehow thought it was something he had to earn, not his birthright.

That being “good” and readily available and willing to drop anything for anyone made him worthy of love, not the fact he’s him. Just him.

I need him to know he could do nothing else for me, and I’d still love him. I’d still want to live life with him. After a lifetime of isolating Piper and I to keep us safe from everyone else… I want to let him in. Let him see everything I used to hide.

I’m not sure what comes over me, but I’m moving towards the bathroom, pulling my dress over my head as I go. I’m sure I look goofy as hell in nothing but my bra, underwear, stockings, and ankle booties. But still I take a deep breath and push the bathroom door open.

“Aud?” Ren calls over the sound of the shower. His voice is like a beacon through the steam. “I’ll be out in a sec.”

This bathroom is gorgeous. White and gray tile, and a huge shower with a glass door. My heart pounds when he and his perfect body turn to face me, eyes widening at my state of undress.

“Actually,” I say slowly, kicking off my ankle boots. “I was wondering if I could join.”

It feels like his silence lasts minutes, but in reality it can’t be more than three seconds. “I… uh… yeah. Of course. Do you… want to come in?”

“Yes,” I say quietly, pulling my stockings and underwear down in one fell swoop.

Ren quickly turns so he’s facing away from me as I reach behind me to unclip my bra, my breasts sagging as the fabric pools at my feet.

I take a deep breath and push open the glass door, the heat of the shower enveloping me.

“Hi,” Ren says. “I won’t turn around, I promise.”

My heart flutters. This man is good without having to try. Even though I undressed and joined him in the shower, he’s still respecting my boundaries. Still seeing me.

I move forward until my front is pressed against his back and wrap my arms around him.

“What—are you okay?” Ren asks, and I notice his eyes are squeezed shut. I grin at the fact that not only is he facing away from me, but he’s keeping his eyes shut to ensure he doesn’t see me.

“I’m so good, Ren,” I whisper, pressing my cheek against his sculpted back. “I needed to tell you something.”

He nods solemnly, like this isn’t an outlandish situation. “I’m listening.” He covers one of my hands with his, squeezing gently.

“I think you wanted to tell me you loved me earlier,” I say, the words tumbling out one after the other.

I can’t stop it. “The second time you told me I smelled nice. And don’t you dare tell me you were quoting Star Wars again, because you do love me, Ren.

I know you do. But I also know you didn’t want to say it because you don’t want to scare me.

Because you don’t know if I love you, too.

” I inhale before continuing. “And I do. Love you. So much that sometimes it feels like you live in my chest and squeeze my heart for the fun of it. So much that… that I let my guard down and I’m okay with that.

So much that I think you can love Piper as much as I do. So much that—”

I’m cut off when he turns towards me, cupping my face in his hands. He steals my confession out of my mouth when he tips my face and kisses me.

I love you , I think, wrapping my arms around him again. I love you because you’re you. I want you because you’re you. You’re good because you’re you .

“Audrey.” He sighs my name when he finally breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead to mine. He cups my waist, thumb absentmindedly drawing designs on my skin. “I… I don’t know what to say. You said it all. You stole my goddamn love confession.”

I laugh, delighted at his frustration and the smile that spreads across his face at my laughter.

“You saw right through me. Of course I love you, sweetheart. I’ve loved you since I was nine years old.

” He pauses. “Maybe it wasn’t love because I was nine years old.

But the thing I’m most certain of in my life is I love you today. ”

“You became a safe haven for us, for me and Piper. I don’t think I had a choice but you love you. It was as inevitable as the tide changing.

“It feels silly, but I want to show you this. Because I know you’ll be good to me, Ren. I know you won’t run or be put off by me. That you’ll still find me beautiful and still want me.”