Page 34 of On My Side (Quiblings #3)
Ren
Playlist: Not Strong Enough | boygenius
Part of me hoped Audrey would meet me for the last mile of my run the next morning, as has become routine. Maybe I should be grateful she’s taking my request for space seriously, but that last mile felt like torture without her and the coffee I didn’t know how much I enjoyed.
The following week, it feels like there isn’t a moment I’m not thinking about Audrey.
When I record, when I shower, when I run, when Leia screams at me for keeping the door closed too long, when I pass the part of the seawall where she waited for me with cold coffee for the first time all those months ago…
I told her I needed space, and now I’m haunted by her ghost.
On Saturday morning, the idea of passing that spot for the fourth time since I told her I needed space seemed so awful I asked Will to meet me at the gym instead. He happily agreed, insisting we have brunch at his place after.
“You seem… pissed.” Will’s words are slow, like if he says them at a slower speed, they won’t piss me off even more.
It doesn’t work.
I grit my teeth. “Didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
Will squints at me suspiciously and hands me a plate to dry. “You usually seem monumentally less pissed after working out.”
“Yeah, well,” I mutter. “Shocking news, endorphins don’t cure you of having to deal with shit.”
I immediately regret referring to what’s going on with Audrey as “shit.” It seems to minimize everything between us.
“Have you tried getting laid?” Will asks casually, and I’m so taken aback I almost drop the plate.
“I… don’t do that,” I sputter, face heating.
“Ah.” Will nods his head. “So you were hooking up with someone and the sex was good and then you remembered why you don’t hook up and you’re mopey about it because you really like the person… but they thought it was casual?”
I stare at him in shock. “What the hell? Have you been spying on me?”
“I’m your best friend,” he says simply, rinsing his hands and turning off the sink.
“Even when I lived in LA, I know you enough to know when something’s off.
I knew it with Taylor, I knew it when you and that guy were fooling around in college, I knew it when you tried to keep your sex god alter-ego from me… ”
“Okay, I get it,” I interrupt, leaning against the counter and folding my arms across my chest. “We can’t keep secrets from each other.”
Will clears his throat, and looks away. “Exactly. So stop trying. Why don’t we sit and you tell me all about it? Pretend I’m your therapist.”
I roll my eyes. “I have to go home and get ready for the private lesson I have in a bit.”
“Speaking of, why are you doing private lessons again? I thought you hated them and were making enough money with 4Play?”
“Just for this one kid,” I mutter. “She’s talented and actually cool as hell. She’s a high schooler, and wants to be a concert pianist.” And I think I’m in love with her mom, but we’ll explore that part of the equation at a later date.
“What are you doing for yourself?” he asks.
The fifteen year old inside me wants to answer with “her mom,” but I bite my tongue.
Because I’m not anymore. I haven’t reached out to her, she hasn’t reached out to me.
What would we say if we did talk? Hey, I know you’re super protective of your kid, and I get it the world’s been awful to you, but also it makes me sad please let me love you.
Pathetic.
“Do you have time for a quick round of Mario Kart before you go? Maybe it’ll make you feel better?” Will asks hopefully.
I agree, and we play like we did as kids. It unfortunately doesn’t do too much for my mood, and because I’m so distracted, he beats me for what I’m pretty sure is the first time ever.
When I get to the inn, Piper is already at the piano, tapping out Chopsticks on the keys.
“You know I hate Chopsticks ,” I grumble as I slide beside her on the bench. I mean it to sound playful, but I’m pretty sure it comes across as cruel by the way her face falls and her hands drop to her lap.
“Why are adults such dickheads lately?” she complains. “First Mom, now you.”
“Sorry.” I exhale heavily, rubbing my chain between my fingers. “Long week.”
“Mom said the same thing,” Piper says casually. “Seemed the same length as usual to me.”
“Ha, ha,” I say humorlessly. “You’re hilarious.”
“I’m gonna run to the bathroom, and then we can play some non- Chopsticks bullshit, okay?” She gets up from the piano and pats me on the head, like I’m a well-behaved dog.
I scroll on my phone as I wait for her to return.
And wait. And wait.
After fifteen minutes, I decide to look for her, concern a tight knot in my stomach.
“Piper?” I knock on the single bathroom. “Are you okay?”
“Go away!” she shouts tearfully.
I immediately begin to panic. “Pipe, what’s going on?”
She doesn’t respond, but I can hear her crying through the door.
“Hey, Pipe.” I try to calm myself, though it’s not working. Did I break Audrey’s child? She’ll never love me now. “You’re scaring me. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“I want my mom,” she cries, and my heart shatters.
“Okay, okay. I’m gonna call her,” I say, pulling my phone out of my back pocket. “It’s okay.”
Five seconds later, I get Audrey’s voicemail.
I have to call two more times before she finally answers. “What?” she says. She sounds exhausted.
“Hi,” I stammer. “It’s Piper…”
The mattress springs creak and the sheets rustle as she sits up. “What’s wrong?” she asks, panic lacing her voice.
“I don’t know. She’s locked herself in the bathroom and won’t open the door. She said she wants you.”
“Okay.” She breathes. “It’s okay. She’s okay.” I’m not sure if she’s telling this to herself or to me—or maybe both of us. “Will you stay with her until I get there?” she asks.
“Of course, Aud.” I want to kick myself for calling her that. It’s too intimate, too close for what we are.
“Thank you,” she whispers before disconnecting the line.
It takes her five minutes to make it from the cottage to the bathroom, breathing heavily and hair a mess. She’s wearing her glasses and a pimple patch, hair in a bun that’s falling out. There are dark circles under her eyes, and I wonder if maybe neither of us is okay.
I step back, as she knocks on the door. “Piper? I’m here, birdie. Let me in.”
The door unlocks with a click, opening just a crack. Audrey pushes it the rest of the way. She slips inside with Piper, but before she shuts me out, our eyes meet. I see my own fear reflected back at me in hers.
I walk to the piano to grab Piper’s phone, and pace back to the bathroom. I lean against the wall, waiting. I don’t want to leave until I know she’s okay. Ten minutes later the door opens again, and Audrey and Piper step out. My heart sinks at Piper’s puffy red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
“Why don’t you go home?” Audrey says softly to Piper. “I’m going to talk to Mr. Q real quick. You gave us quite the scare.”
Piper’s eyes fill with fresh tears. “I’m sorry,” she sniffs, wiping at her nose.
“You don’t have to apologize,” I tell her gently. “I just want you to be okay.”
She nods, staring down at her feet as Audrey rubs her back. “I’m going to go get what you need after I talk to him, okay?”
Piper nods again and shuffles away.
I glance at Audrey. “Is she okay?” I ask. It feels like something is stuck in my throat.
Audrey laughs nervously and lifts a trembling hand to push her glasses up her nose. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“ She scared the shit out of me,” I say. “But she’s okay?”
“Yeah. She got her period for the first time and panicked.” She exhales shakily. “Thanks for staying with her,” she says, wrapping her arms around herself and averting her gaze. “That was… thanks. I have to run out to grab supplies for her and…”
“I’ll go,” I interrupt, pulling my keys out of my pocket.
She looks up in surprise, “Ren, no. It’s okay…”
“You should stay with her, she needs her mom.”
She exhales. “Thank you. I’ll text you what she needs. Do you know how to find tampons and such?”
“Six sisters,” I remind her.
“Right. Right. You’re probably better at it than I am.” She still won’t look at me, and I don’t know whether I want her to or not. “Thank you.” She turns to walk away, but I grab her wrist before she can leave.
“Aud, are you okay?” I ask quietly, in case any of her staff is nearby.
She pulls her arm away. “I’ll be fine,” she answers tightly.
“That’s not what I asked.”
She shakes her head. “It’s the answer you’re getting.”
I nod curtly. “Got it. Thanks.”
I walk around her and towards the lobby to exit before I can be foolish and say something else.
Because that’s exactly what I am when it comes to her, isn’t it? A foolish, foolish man.