Page 17 of On My Side (Quiblings #3)

Ren

Playlist: I Did Something Bad | Taylor Swift

I was awake all night tossing and turning, restless because of this infuriating woman and what I discovered.

I didn’t know when I unlocked her phone, it would open to an app I’m intimately familiar with—literally.

She was listening to my most recent audio, the one I uploaded a few days ago. She’d made it a few minutes in and…

Audrey listens to my audios.

I’ve worked hard to keep Sky anonymous, to keep myself separate from Sky. I felt nauseous, wondering if she knew.

Maybe she didn’t. Sky is one of the most popular creators on the app, and 4Play is one of the most downloaded apps in its category. She could not know.

But she came to my room… instead of finishing the audio.

Then she pretty much fell out of the bathroom in a panic, eyes wide and chest heaving.

While I wanted to believe it was simply because she realized the possibility that she’d be outed as a consumer of audio erotica, there’s something inside me telling me she was afraid I’d know what she knows.

I’m feeling so many emotions at this realization, but mostly confused because how would she know? I change my voice to stay anonymous, have never shown my face and Sky has no social media. Her knowing should be an impossibility.

But Audrey is nothing if not an impossibility.

I wanted her last night, and I let myself believe she wanted me, too.

I think she did want me, too. I haven’t wanted to be physically intimate with someone in a long time, and I want a lot more than a quick fuck with Audrey.

Every time she lets me into any part of her life, I’m insatiable.

I want more of her. More of Audrey’s life, more of Piper’s sarcastic comments and drinking coffee from Audrey’s mugs.

But she pulled away from me.

I finally fall asleep at four thirty, and my alarm wakes me a whopping three hours later. On Wednesdays, Will and I lift at the gym, so I force myself out of bed and get dressed.

My landlord texted me to let me know that miraculously, there was no damage to my apartment and I can come back later today. At least one thing is going my way.

I decide to leave Leia with Piper a little longer, and send Audrey a text to ask if that’s okay.

She responds with a thumbs up, like she’s my dad.

“Damn,” Will says when I find him at the dumbbells. “You look like hell.”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically. But when I examine myself in the mirror, I think he may have been too generous. “Yikes.”

“Late night for Sky?” Will asks, taking an earbud out of his ear expectantly.

“In a way,” I grumble, not wanting to continue the conversation. While Will is the only person in my life who knows about Sky, I haven’t talked much about Audrey, and I don’t really want to.

“Hmm,” Will says thoughtfully, grabbing two forties from the rack. “You haven’t looked this rough since Taylor. Is she back in town?”

I sigh and sit on the bench, shoulders slumped. “Worse. There’s someone else, and she doesn’t want me.”

Not talking about Audrey lasted all of ten seconds. I’m pathetic.

Will hovers over me, dumbbells still dangling by his sides. “Are you okay?” he asks empathetically.

I stare at the ground, at the sweat-stained tiles, for what feels like forever until I finally shake my head.

“What’s going to help?” Will asks.

I inhale shakily and get to my feet, striding to the rack with purpose.

I can fake it until I make it.

Because the only thing that might help is lifting weights heavier than the heaviness in my heart.

I’m both relieved and disappointed when I get to the cottage and Piper informs me Audrey’s at the inn. Relieved, because of last night. Disappointed, because of last night.

The rest of the week speeds by, and I’m back at my parents’ for another Sunday dinner. It’s a big, mandatory one. At least for everyone in driving/short train ride distance. The twins’ birthday was a few days ago, and they’re headed back to college tomorrow. Our mother could not be happier.

“We’re spending the weekend at the shore after we drop Leo off at Rutgers,” Mom says excitedly, red wine sloshing over the lip of her wine glass.

“Mother, you are a mess,” Jo says, handing Mom another napkin.

“Respect your elders, Josephine,” Josh quips.

“Respect my fist in your face, Henry,” Jo says without glancing in his direction.

Nic snickers. “Ooh, burn.”

All of my siblings are at dinner, including Alex via FaceTime; she’s currently propped against a bottle of Chianti.

It’s not rare for random friends to join us on Sundays; sometimes it’s Josh’s cousins, other times Will is able to make it, or Millie’s best friend, Poppy.

But Finn, Izzy’s best friend, hasn’t missed a Sunday dinner since he was eight years old and moved into the house next door.

That is, until he chose a college out of state.

“You excited to go back to Oregon?” I ask him. Finn’s starting his sophomore year at the University of Oregon, where he’s studying marine biology.

He looks at me, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “I miss class and the work I get to do, but I do get homesick.”

“Ask him about his girlfriend,” Izzy whispers, peeking around him.

“You have a girlfriend?” I ask.

Poor Finn is more flustered than I’ve ever seen him, and that’s saying something. “I… no. It was… no. We…no.”

Izzy snickers, and nudges him with her shoulder. “You’re doing great, Finny.”

He scowls at her. “One day I’m not coming back.”

“Your boundaries are valid,” my youngest sister responds serenely, taking his plate and spooning baked ziti onto it. “How are you feeling about vegetables today?”

“The same way I feel about you harassing me over a non-existent girlfriend,” he grumbles.

“Gotcha,” she nods.

After dinner, Nic and I are on dish duty.

“So,” she says. “You’re acting weird,”

I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. “Am not.”

“Are too. You’re less smiley than usual.”

Shit . Am I? I mentally berate myself for this, though maybe nobody else noticed. Nic is annoyingly observant and can tell the slightest shift in the way someone behaves, even if she can’t quite tell what it means.

“It’s that time of year again. Preparing for the start of school is exhausting.” I make sure to tack on an extra-wattage smile at the end.

“Hmm,” she says skeptically, and I wait for her to continue. She doesn’t.

I guess that’s that.

Once I’m back at the table, I pull out my phone.

Ren

hey, was just wondering when you were free to discuss piper’s lessons for when school starts?

“Spoons?” Leo says hopefully, slamming his hands on the table.

“ No ,” Nic growls at the same time Kat exclaims, “Yes!”

Nic glares at Kat. “No. We can only play during holidays. That’s literally the written law on the fridge.”

“It’s a useless rule,” Kat argues.

“It’s a rule because you gave me a black eye two years ago,” Nic shoots back. “Because you lose what little humanity you have while playing and are certifiably a wild animal.”

My phone dings and I look at it.

Audrey

probably not anytime soon. we’re really busy preparing for school. sorry.

Ren

you don’t need to apologize. i want to make a schedule so piper knows what to expect if she still wants to continue taking lessons.

“You’re just upset because you never win,” Kat says to Nic.

“ You’re just upset because you never win ,” Nic mimics.

“Oh my god, you’re a child.”

“ Oh my god, you’re a child .”

I rub at my temples.

“Wait, let’s check the log book. I’ve definitely won before.” Nic pushes away from the table and heads towards the family room. Kat follows her, their bickering loud enough to still be heard across the house. I glance back at my phone to see if Audrey’s texted back.

Audrey

she does, saturdays still work for us if they work for you.

Ren

can you and i meet in person, please?

Audrey

i don’t know if that’s a good idea.

Ren

okay.

I lean over my plate, grabbing my bottle of Guinness before slumping against the chair and taking a generous swig out of frustration. I shouldn’t be drinking while depressed, but right now I want to feel less .

I’m not going to push Audrey’s boundaries. I’m not going to make her talk to me.

But I think I can get her to listen to me.