Page 42 of On My Side (Quiblings #3)

Audrey

Playlist: “Slut!” (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) | Taylor Swift

I regret everything.

It’s a five minute car ride to Ren’s parents’ house, and I spend the entire time with my hands fidgeting in my lap.

Ren keeps glancing over at me, and at one point takes his right hand off the steering wheel, covering mine. It doesn’t fix everything, but this small action reminds me I’m not alone in this, that he’s on my side.

Piper is jabbering in the backseat about how excited she is for Christmas break, despite Thanksgiving break not starting until Tuesday. Apparently, she and Annika have big plans of starting a cat sitting business, and she asks Ren to be a reference.

“I don’t know if he’ll recommend the person who is not-so-subtly trying to catnap Leia.” I tease.

Despite my pathetic attempts to act like everything’s fine, my heart sinks lower and lower as we get closer to the Quinns’ and I begin to recognize houses and landmarks. They send me back to the last time I was here.

I don’t want to go back to that moment. I want to move forward.

My stomach sinks further when Ren has to park on the street in front of the house because their huge driveway is already full.

“Are we the last ones to arrive?” I ask as I unbuckle my seatbelt. God, my voice is shaking, and I hate myself for it. I need to be better for Piper, for myself, for Ren, and the steps we’ve taken towards the future we could have. The future I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.

Ren puts the car into park and squeezes my hand, like he’s trying to transfer his effortless confidence and charisma he has to me.

Except it’s not effortless. It’s a role he works extraordinarily hard to perform well, a role that’s taken so much from him.

“You’ll be great,” he murmurs. “It’s them I’m worried about.”

I squeeze his hand back. “You love them. I loved them, too. You and I don’t love carelessly.”

He turns his neck and searches my eyes. I wonder if he can hear what I’m not saying, but what I mean.

I love you. And it’s scary as shit because I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. I never thought I’d have the opportunity to. I want to do it right, but I don’t know how.

“Is this my life now? You two, not even trying to hide the goo-goo eyes you make at each other?” Piper interjects from the backseat.

I bite my lip as I try not to laugh, but Ren isn’t as subtle.

His laugh is loud and lovely and warms me the same way he’s warmed the cold parts of me I’ve avoided facing for so long.

“Yep. Sorry, pipsqueak. You get to have two adults embarrassing you now. And Pipe,” he adds, voice suddenly serious, “if you are uncomfortable or if anyone says anything less than kind to you…”

“I’ll punch them in the face,” Piper finishes, way too seriously for my liking.

“Piper!” I scold, turning my head to narrow my eyes at her.

“Sure,” Ren says, and I want to shake him. “I don’t normally condone violence, but they’ll deserve it.”

I can’t help but laugh as Piper climbs out of the car. I’ve barely gotten out of the car when I’m greeted by a high-pitched noise and a mass of pink and blonde flying at me.

“ Oof! ” I say, stumbling and trying to keep my balance as Hunter’s body collides with my own.

“You’re here! ” she screeches directly in my ear. “At Sunday dinner! This is the best day of my life!”

“Christ, Hunter.” Ren’s beside me at vampiric speed. “Give her space.”

“Space doesn’t exist in this house.” It’s another masculine voice this time, and I try to peek through Hunter’s lion mane to see who it is. I don’t recognize him at first, but he’s a few inches shorter than me with red hair and a mustache. If I had to guess he was five years or so older than Piper.

That’s when it clicks.

“Baby Leo?” I gasp, and Hunter mercifully detaches herself from me. “My god, you’re old .”

Ren snorts. “He’s a sophomore in college, if you can believe it.”

“Oh my god. I’m old.”

“You? Never. You don’t look a day over twenty-five,” Leo responds with a wink.

I blush. “Oh, I wish. You’re too sweet.”

“I only speak the truth,” Leo says, so earnestly I’m convinced I truly look like I’m in my mid-twenties.

“Are you flirting with her?” Ren asks in bewilderment.

“And if I am?” Leo challenges his older brother with a smirk. “She’s not attached, right?”

Oh. Actually, this might be fun, seeing Ren’s siblings rag on him a little.

Ren shoves Leo’s shoulder with a little more force than what I would consider playful. But then again, I’m not around siblings very often. “ You’re attached, asshole.”

“I’m not actually flirting,” Leo whines, rubbing at where Ren pushed against him. “I’m a really likeable guy who knows how to give a compliment! Try it sometime!”

Ren rolls his eyes. “Whatever,” he grumbles, and him being jealous of his brother is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. His arm is still slung over my shoulder as we walk to the door and I’m literally obsessed. “We’ll talk later.”

“Nothing to talk about,” Leo says quickly, bounding up the stairs behind Hunter and Piper. He calls over his shoulder, “I mean, I have nothing to talk about. You, however, look like you have quite a lot to talk about, pretty boy.”

I smirk, and pinch Ren’s cheek. “You are such a pretty boy, aren’t you?”

Ren’s face turns scarlet. “Fuck. Me,” he whispers, suddenly removing his arm from my shoulders and gently grabbing my hips to move me in front of him.

“Wait, what’s happening?” I ask in confusion.

In lieu of a verbal answer, he presses against me, like he did in the kitchen all those months ago. And like that time in the kitchen, he’s astoundingly hard.

I glance over my shoulder at him in surprise. “Where did that come from?”

“That did it for me,” he answers sheepishly.

“ What did it for you? Me calling you a pretty boy?”

He groans and grips my hips again, guiding me toward the stairs. “Apparently? Because all I want is for you to sit on my face and tell me what a pretty boy I am when I’m drenched in your come.”

I stare at him, mouth agape.

He winces. “Too far?”

“Use that in an audio,” I say after finally being able to close my mouth. “You should… uh. Definitely use that in an audio.”

“Are you coming?” Leo hollers from the front door.

“I wish,” I sigh, only loud enough for Ren to hear. He coughs in an attempt to mask a laugh. “Get that thing under control, Lorenzo, or else your family will really think I am a slut.”

He puts his hand on my lower back and gently pushes me forward, which immediately has fireworks going off and spreading fire throughout my entire body.

I take off my coat as we enter the house, immediately enveloped in the scent of garlic and onion, and the loud noise of a family that loves each other.

I grieve for the time when this was my second home. When Mr. Quinn would make us grilled cheeses after school and every Sunday meant Mrs. Quinn’s Italian food.

Ren senses my discomfort and takes my hand in his, squeezing gently. “We can leave right now, if you want to.”

I want to. I want to put my coat back on, find Piper, and speed back home so I can crawl beneath my covers and hide from the things that hurt me, from my past. But that’s what I’ve spent my entire life doing, and Ren has me wanting to do things differently.

“Are you going to introduce me as your friend?” I ask, squeezing his hand back.

He smiles. “I can, if you want. But I need to warn you: I refuse to hide the way I feel about you, to pretend you’re not the most important person in my life. I can’t go back to treating you like a friend.”

“How would you want to introduce me instead?” I ask, throat thick with an emotion I’m not ready to name.

“I’d introduce you as mine,” he says simply. “Because they need to understand you’re here to stay and if they want me, they have to want you, too.”

We break off from the rest of the group, Ren guiding me into the front parlor. The room looks the same as it did sixteen years ago, with a baby grand piano and floral furniture. I wander to the piano, tapping on C sharp.

“I learned to play on this bad boy.”

“I remember. Can you still play The Imperial March while staring menacingly at whoever pissed you off?” I tease.

He scoffs. “Can I still play The Imperial March ? What a silly question, Audrey.”

I run my fingers lightly across the keys, soft enough they don’t make a sound. Part of me wishes we could just stay like this. Me, Ren, and Piper in our own little world, without anyone else. I whisper, my eyes cast down to the piano, “What if they don’t want me?”

“If they don’t want you, then the love they have for me isn’t as unconditional as they claim it is.

” He shrugs and leans casually against the piano, like he’s not talking about cutting off the family he loves.

“They’re family, but you’re home, Aud. You and that persnickety blonde with a penchant for sarcasm and catnapping.

You’re where I want to begin and end my days, where I’m safe and known. ”

I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, heart pounding in my chest. I love you . My heart screams in rhythm with my heartbeat. I love you, I love you, I love you.

He turns us, pressing my ass against the keys and creating the worst sound I’ve ever heard in my life.

But I can’t find it in me to care, because he’s kissing me like he loves me, too.

“Ren, are you in… oh, shit.”

Ren and I spring apart like we’ve been electrocuted. “Hey, Dad,” Ren says sheepishly, hand going to his chain as we turn to face his wide-eyed father. “You remember Audrey? My…” He trails off and looks at me. “Girlfriend?”

“Right. Right.” Mr. Quinn is nodding vigorously, like he knew we were dating, which, to be fair, he probably deduced from our prior interaction. “Right. Right. Right. Audrey’s your girlfriend.”