Page 51 of No Such Thing as Serendipity

I couldn’t believe it was already Friday. One week ago, Robyn and I had our first date. Since we’d spent every night together, the time had flown by, pushing us closer to the end of our retreat. Our departure flight was scheduled for next Sunday. My chest tightened at the thought of leaving Robyn.

I pushed the thoughts away. I needed laser focus today for my meetings. To my surprise, both firms agreed to meet me in Madison. So much for Emma’s serendipity. I’d still have to decide between the two.

I was up earlier than usual today, taking what had become my ritual morning run along the paths around Lake Mendota.

Since I’d been in Madison, I’d rekindled my love of jogging.

There was something about the fresh air, the quiet, and wide-open spaces that revitalized my love for something I’d let die in New York.

As I rounded the bend, I saw The Edgewater Hotel, where we’d be meeting.

This morning, I’d interview with a team from Apex Horizon Equities and, later this afternoon, the group from Ironclad Capital Partners.

At first, I’d thought I’d have to make a dash from one location to another to keep them separate, but Robyn convinced me to be transparent.

The unorthodox arrangement made it much easier.

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I ran toward the hotel where my future would be decided.

Since Monday, when they’d agreed to fly to Wisconsin, I’d weighed my options but was no closer to picking a frontrunner.

Ironclad and Apex were similar, with stellar reputations, a long history of success, a strong financial position, and both headquartered in New York City. I doubted I could go wrong with either.

I’d convinced myself that I needed to channel Emma while I interviewed, meaning get out of my head and go with what my gut told me. Since I’d always been a spreadsheet type of person, this would stretch me.

I slowed to a walk when I arrived at the University of Wisconsin, wanting to cool down before I returned to Robyn’s apartment. She’d still been asleep when I’d slipped out. For some time, I’d lain in bed watching her sleeping before getting up. How could I leave her in a week?

“Get your head in the game,” I muttered to myself.

Why did my thoughts keep drifting back to Robyn when I should be focused on my future?

That was easy. The last three weeks had been amazing, and Robyn was at the center.

This past week, she’d entrusted her staff with the bookstore, so she could go on the villa adventures with us.

And every evening, we returned to her apartment for the night.

Of course, we’d spent our fair share of time in bed, exploring each other’s bodies, but there was so much more.

We’d talked and laughed, and one evening, we’d taken turns reading poetry.

I didn’t read poetry. At least I hadn’t in ages, but it was a moving experience.

When I needed an outfit for my interviews, she and Emma had gone shopping with me. Watching the two of them interact, even when they were teasing me, warmed my heart. While Emma had been respectful of my previous girlfriends, she never had the rapport she had with Robyn.

Shit. I couldn’t call Robyn my girlfriend, not when our time together was dwindling. These thoughts weren’t helpful when I had an interview to prepare for.

As I neared Robyn’s apartment, I stopped and put my foot on a bench near the bookstore and stretched out my hamstrings. I glanced at my watch. It was only an hour and a half before my first meeting.

Waking Robyn up for some morning fun was tempting, but it would make me late. I leaned into my stretch before dropping my foot from the bench.

I shut the front door as quietly as I could and tiptoed down the hall toward the bathroom.

Robyn called, “Blake, what are you doing?”

I stopped and peeked my head into the bedroom. “I just finished my run, so I’m going to take a shower.”

Robyn grinned. “Are you sure about that?” Her tone was seductive.

“Back, you vixen.” I jokingly held up my fingers in the sign of a cross. “I cannot be trusted to overcome the spell you’ll put over me, so I’m not allowed to touch you until after the meetings.”

“Then what do you have planned?” She ran her tongue over her lips.

“You did that on purpose.” I pointed at her.

“What, my lips were dry.”

“That’s it. You stay right there and don’t you dare come into the bathroom.”

She laughed and gave me a mischievous grin, which I was growing to love. No! Like. Appreciate. Yeah, that was it. I appreciated her grin.

“Fine. I’ll be good. But it’ll be hard.”

“I have faith in you. You can do hard things.” I shot her a smirk before I hurried from the room.

Robyn adjusted the collar of my blazer before she declared me ready to tackle my meetings. True to her word, she’d kept her hands off me, but now she pulled me in for a hug. We stood holding each other for some time before I stepped back.

“Are you ready for this?” Robyn asked.

I smiled. “I am. I just want Emma’s serendipity to take hold, so the right answer will fall into my lap.”

“Trust your gut.”

It had been a long time since I trusted my gut. I functioned on spreadsheets and logic, not some woo-woo idea of fate guiding me.

The meetings went well. As I finished my meeting with Ironclad, they held a slight edge since I preferred their business model.

Now they would return to their offices and work up an offer.

Both promised they’d have a proposal by Monday.

Even though money wasn’t the driving force behind my decision, I didn’t tell them.

I wanted them to sharpen their pencils, and I’d told them as much.

As I shook hands with Ironclad’s CFO, she said, “It’s such a shame about Terrence.”

I studied her. Strange she’d bring up his name after the ugly way my relationship with him and Fortitude ended. “What’s a shame?”

Her face fell. “You didn’t hear?”

Did the son of a bitch try to blackball me with Ironclad?

I was about to ask when the CFO said, “Cancer is such a horrible disease.”

Cancer? “Um, yeah, it is.”

She put her hand on my arm. “Oh, god, I am so sorry. You didn’t know, did you?”

I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” Her expression was sincere.

Wasn’t she aware of how things had ended with Terrence? Was I supposed to feel bad for him? Not that I’d wish cancer on anyone. Still, he wasn’t my concern any longer.

“I know things, uh, didn’t end on the best note,” she said. “But I figured someone would have contacted you. I mean, with your history.”

Not wanting to appear callous, I said, “I’ve been here for several weeks.”

She nodded, seemingly pleased with the answer. “Ah, that explains it. It’s just such a shame with him finally having time for himself—his family. It’s so tragic.”

Wait. Why was she acting so doom and gloom? Surely, Terrence would get top-notch treatment. “What kind of cancer did you say it was?” She hadn’t, but I didn’t want her to become uncomfortable for divulging too much.

“Pancreatic.”

My heart sank. I’d learned a lot about cancer when Auntie Bess was fighting her battle, so I knew pancreatic was one of the deadliest. “What stage?”

Her eyes grew sad. “Four. They’re giving him six to eight months.”

The room spun.

“Oh, no. Frank,” she called over her shoulder. “Grab Blake a bottle of water. Why don’t you sit down for a minute?”

I wanted to escape, but I doubted my legs would carry me, so I let her guide me to a seat.

Twenty minutes later, I left the conference room. I’d been embarrassed, but the group from Ironclad had been nothing but gracious and supportive.

Maybe I’d grown. If I’d had this reaction in front of someone before, I would have distanced myself from them.

Likely, it would have lost them any chance of convincing me to sign with their firm.

As if they were to blame. But with my newfound awareness, the Ironclad team gained in their pursuit of signing me.

When I returned to Lift Our Voices, I was still shaken. Robyn was working with a customer when I walked in. She’d raised her hand to wave at me, but her face fell as soon as she saw mine. She held up one finger and went back to talking to her customer, but she kept one eye on me while they talked.

I smiled and motioned toward the coffee bar. I could use a stiff drink. Double espresso. I smiled at my joke. Once I’d gotten my coffee, I went to the farthest table. It looked out on the sidewalk, so I focused on the foot traffic, trying to keep my mind off Terrence.

I was so absorbed counting the number of piercings on a pair of teenagers with blue hair that I didn’t realize Robyn had slipped into the adjacent seat until she said, “It didn’t go well, huh?”

“Shit.” I jumped and almost knocked over my coffee.

“Sorry.” Robyn put her hand on mine.

I shook my head and focused on her. “No, everything went great with the meetings. They’re supposed to send me their offers by Monday.”

Robyn narrowed her eyes. In this short time, I’d come to cherish her intense expression when she was thinking. “What’s going on then?”

Tears welled in my eyes.

“Are you having second thoughts about taking one of the jobs?”

For a moment, I thought I’d sensed hope in her question, but I must have imagined it in my emotionally heightened state. “No, that’s not it. It’s Terrence.”

“Terrence? Your old boss?” Anger flashed in her eyes. “Is he trying to sabotage your chances?”

I vehemently shook my head. “No, nothing like that. He has cancer. Stage IV pancreatic.”

“Oh.” Robyn squeezed my hand. “I’m so sorry. I know he meant a lot to you, despite everything that happened.”

I’d shared with Robyn how betrayed I’d felt by Terrence, but she’d picked up my affection for him, as well. “I said mean and ugly things, but I never wished for this to happen.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Robyn’s voice was gentle.

“Then why do I feel guilty?”

“Because you’re human.” Robyn smiled at me. “But I guarantee you that your anger did not cause him to get cancer.”

I scowled, realizing the truth in her words. Since I’d left the interview, a part of me worried that my anger was responsible. Not responsible, of course, I knew I wasn’t, but still I’d wished for him to feel as bad as I did. Not like this, though.

Robyn reached out and ran her fingers across the frown line on my forehead. “What do you need from me?”

What did I need? Nobody ever asked me that before, except for Emma, but that didn’t count. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

“Let me check if Michelle can close the store tonight, and I’ll take you out for dinner. There’s a fusion restaurant I’ve been wanting to check out in Janesville.” She grinned. “It’s about forty minutes away, so you can drive your truck.”

I grinned. “How have you figured out my weaknesses so soon? I love that truck.”

“I know. And I love watching you fly down the road with the wind rustling through your hair.”

“Aren’t you describing Millie?” I let my tongue loll out of my mouth and pretended the wind was blowing in my face.

She winked at me. “Well, it is a tossup which one of you is cuter.”

“Millie. Definitely Millie.”

Although my concern for Terrence hadn’t disappeared, I felt as if I could breathe again. Robyn had that effect on me.