Page 30 of No Such Thing as Serendipity

I sprawled spread eagle on my bed. Though I needed to respond to my emails, they could wait. I wanted to lie here and stare at the ceiling. When was the last time I’d done something like this? I had an hour before dinner, and I wasn’t racing to do anything.

Finally, we’d had the day I’d expected from a retreat—a spa day.

I’d just returned from my hour and a half massage, which turned my body to jelly.

It was the type of relaxation I sought. It focused on our bodies, not forced us to get in touch with our feelings.

This was a retreat activity I could get behind.

Although, I had to admit, the touchy-feely stuff hadn’t been as bad as I thought it would be.

My body hadn’t been this relaxed in years.

When I’d made the comment to Emma, she’d given me one of her typical Emma smiles.

One that conveyed she had a different opinion and was ready to unleash it on me.

Her words still rattled in my head. Don’t you think you should attribute some of it to what happened last night?

You’ve had plenty of massages in the city.

My biweekly massage was the one indulgence I allowed myself, even though I hated to give up the time. So why didn’t I feel this relaxed after those sessions? Had Emma been right? I’d slept like a baby after we’d returned from Madison, but I attributed it to a long, exhausting day.

Had it been a long day? We hadn’t rolled out until almost noon and were home before midnight. Twelve hours. That was how long my days at work usually lasted, if not longer. And I couldn’t call what we did yesterday work.

Robyn’s smiling face filled my mind. It wasn’t the first time; in fact, she occupied many of my thoughts today. Yesterday had been one of the most enjoyable days I’d had in years.

I closed my eyes and let the memories wash over me.

I was glad to be alone in my room since I sported a goofy grin.

Then Robyn’s tear-stained face flashed into my thoughts.

Since I wasn’t one to cry often, her reaction had surprised me when the actress playing Elphaba belted out Defying Gravity.

When the curtain dropped at the end of the first act, the myriad emotions firing in Robyn’s eyes captivated me.

Her expression, though marked by sadness and pain, revealed also a fierce hope, resilience, and a hint of anger.

When I’d mentioned it to Robyn at intermission, she’d laughed and said, “ And you didn’t think you’d be any good at emotion charades. I’d say you nailed it.”

I’d felt an embarrassing level of pride at her compliment. Had Emma been right? Was I missing out on life because I was too driven? No. Emma just didn’t understand. How could she? Even though she was older, I’d been responsible for the family. Wasn’t that what Auntie Bess told me?

My jaw tightened. I focused on relaxing it. I wouldn’t ruin the effects of my massage. Lying here, my eyes had gotten heavy. I should move—get up. I avoided napping in the middle of the day. My emails wouldn’t answer themselves.

I grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and pulled it over me. Closing my eyes, I let the visions from yesterday dance in my head.

I sighed as sleep pulled at me.