Page 46 of No Such Thing as Serendipity

When we returned, Robyn refused my help as she busied herself getting us drinks and a snack. Surprisingly, even after our meal, the walk made me hungry, so I was happy with the cheese and fruit tray she set on the coffee table.

After she hurried off to prepare the iced tea, I took in the apartment.

It was quaint. Usually, the term meant small, which it was, but it had a homey quality.

It couldn’t be over eight hundred square feet and would almost fit in the living room of my penthouse.

Something I didn’t plan on mentioning to Robyn.

While she knew I had a high-powered job in the city, I didn’t think she knew the extent of it, and I had no plans to reveal it. At least, not yet.

The design was like many apartments—four rooms. Living room, kitchen, bedroom, and bath.

I’d only gotten a peek at the small bedroom when I’d gone to the bathroom.

The living room, by far, was the largest room.

It afforded space for a couch, recliner, and a luxury dog bed for Millie, who we’d worn out.

She’d already flopped into her bed and was lightly snoring.

“Traitor,” I whispered to Millie. She would be no help diverting the conversation we would soon have.

“What?” Robyn said as she entered the room with our iced teas.

My face heated. “Uh, nothing. Just talking to myself.”

Robyn set the glasses on the table before she sat on the couch. I was disappointed that she sat several feet from me. I realized why she had when she turned to face me.

When she brought her leg up, she laughed. “Damn. This isn’t easy in a dress.” She put her feet back on the ground and stood. “No offense, but I’m gonna sit on the end of the couch so I can put my feet under me without flashing you.”

I raised my eyebrow.

“You stop that.” Robyn laughed. “We’re going to talk.”

“Fine. I suppose flashing me might impede that.” I moved to the opposite end of the couch and put my back against the arm, facing her.

Once Robyn was situated with her feet under her and her dress pulled down over her knees, she said, “So what are we doing here?”

I raised my eyebrows in mock surprise. “Shit, I thought you knew.”

Robyn laughed. “I like this side of you. Relaxed. Funny.”

I glanced down at the couch, no longer able to hold her gaze. “I do, too. It’s just been a while since I’ve seen it, so I’m a little out of practice.”

“We all struggle. Finding our place in this world is harder than we even realize. We think everyone else has it all figured out, so we struggle in silence. That’s why I love Blissful Breeze and my bookstore.

They give people somewhere to open up and discover we’re all struggling in some way.

We help people find their internal strength and external resources. ”

I cocked my head. “External?”

“Stop thinking like an equity trader. External resources aren’t always about money. It can mean developing friendships—relationships.”

“You’re right. In my wildest dream, I never would’ve guessed I’d get so close to everyone at the villa so fast.” I scrunched up my face. “I broke down and sobbed like a baby in front of them. If I’d behaved that way in real life, I wouldn’t show my face for a month.”

“Isn’t that sad?”

“Yeah, I guess it is. But it’s weird, too. How does it happen? Why?”

“We create a safe environment.”

I groaned.

“No, not like that.” Robyn held up her hand. “I know the term has become polarizing. For me, it has a different meaning. It’s not meant to protect and shelter you. It’s to strengthen you.”

“Whoa, back up. I thought a safe space was supposed to keep everything harmful away.”

“It’s all in how you define harmful. I believe it’s harmful not to face the things that most scare us.

While others believe anything that might bring up unpleasant memories or pain is harmful.

” Robyn’s penetrating eyes bore into me.

“We need a space where we can look our pain straight in the eye, stare it down, and—”

“Kick it in the ass.”

Robyn laughed. “Yeah, I suppose that works. Blissful Breeze is about surrounding yourself with people who will love you through it. Hold your hand and support you but not allow you to shy away from it.”

“I can get behind that kind of safe space.” I bit my lower lip. “I can’t say yesterday was easy. Hell, that’s an understatement. It was gut wrenching. And vulnerability hangovers are real.”

“After someone has a public release like you did, I always ask them a simple question to put it all into perspective.”

She’d piqued my curiosity. “Which is?”

“If one of your villa mates reacted the same way, what would you think?”

“Oh, god, I’d feel horrible for them. I’d want to help and make them feel better.”

Robyn pointed at me. “Yes! Why do you think they’d think any differently than you do? Why would you think they’re judging you, thinking lesser of you?”

I put on a frown. “Stop being so logical.”

Robyn smiled. “We could spend the evening discussing healing philosophies, but we should talk about the elephant in the room.”

“Hey, I’m all good talking about the philosophy of healing. Enlighten me.” I grinned.

“Nice try.” The twinkle in her eye faded, and a serious expression settled on her face.

“No more evading, huh?” When she gave me a slight smile but didn’t speak, I continued. “I like you. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really do like you.”

“You say it like you’re surprised.” Robyn pulled her dress down farther over her knees. I suspected she didn’t even recognize she’d done it. This retreat was getting to me. I doubted I would have noticed it a month ago.

I took a deep breath, hoping to find words that wouldn’t offend her. “It’s not the normal way I start a relationship.” When she gave me a puzzled look, I bumbled on. “I mean, it never starts this way. Everyone I’ve ever been with starts out with this hot and heavy physical attraction.”

“So what you’re saying is you don’t find me attractive.”

“No! That’s not what I meant.” I pushed on when I noticed the twinkle in her eyes. “You’re screwing with me, aren’t you?”

She shrugged. “Not exactly screwing with you. I want to understand. Although it was kinda fun to see your reaction.”

Robyn made me want to be honest. “When I met you, I wasn’t immediately attracted, which is how it works for me.

This...” I waved my hands between us. “This is foreign to me. It snuck up on me. Then it hit me right between the eyes when we danced.” I touched my head.

“It started here without me knowing it.” I moved my hand to my chest. “Then it moved to here.”

Robyn narrowed her eyes. “And that’s not typical for you?”

As much as I hated to admit it, I had to be honest. “No, it usually starts much lower for me.”

“Lower?” The puzzled look in her eyes turned to understanding. “Oh, you mean sexual?”

My cheeks heated, and I nodded. “What about you?”

She glanced at the ceiling with a faraway look in her eye. “Since I’ve been in Madison, I’ve only dated casually. But in the past, it’s always been an emotional connection first.”

I swallowed hard, hoping she didn’t notice. Was she hinting this could be more than casual? “So what is this?” Ugh. Where had my filter disappeared to?

“I’m not certain.”

“Would you let me get away with that?” I asked.

She grinned. “No.” I stared at her, waiting for her to continue. “Fine. I like you, too. It feels more than just casual, but it makes little sense. We haven’t known each other long. And I’m out of practice with this dating stuff.”

“I thought you said you’d dated.”

“Casually.”

“Which winds us back to where we started. Could this be more than casual?”

Robyn exhaled and stared at me. “It can’t.”

“Why?”

“First.” Robyn held up her finger. Something about the gesture was adorable, but I didn’t think she’d appreciate me saying it, so I kept it to myself.

“This never should have happened. I’ve never crossed any lines the entire time I’ve been teaching at the resort.

” She held up another finger. “Two. You’re here for two more weeks, and then you return to New York City.

Why create such an entanglement?” She looked down at the couch and held up her third finger.

“Plus, you’ve never experienced an attraction like this.

What if it’s not real? Just a reaction to being at the resort. ”

Her first two points hadn’t surprised me, but the third did. “What do we need to do to move you past feeling guilty about crossing the imaginary lines you’ve created?”

Robyn’s jaw tightened. “They’re not imaginary.”

“I wasn’t trying to be offensive. But you realize it’s not like I’m getting a grade for these classes, so we don’t have an uneven power dynamic.”

“But I’ve facilitated your group. I know it’s not like I’m your counselor, but still.”

“Are you okay with Katlynn and Helena’s relationship?”

Robyn smiled. “It warms my heart. It’s wonderful for both of them.”

“Then what’s the difference?”

Robyn scowled. “I’ll say it again. I’m your facilitator. How do you know the attraction is real, especially since this isn’t how you normally date?”

“Oh, I know it’s real.” I wouldn’t let her get away with trying to convince me the butterflies inside me weren’t genuine. “If I’d suddenly become attracted to you after my, um, should I say meltdown, then I’d understand your apprehension, but it started earlier than that.”

“When?” Robyn shot back.

“Another thing I’ve been trying to figure out.”

“It’s that hard?”

“It is because Emma had you picked out for me from the start.” Robyn’s eyes widened, but she said nothing. “That’s why I’ve wracked my brain to figure out when it happened.”

“And your conclusion?”

“Last weekend. When we went out with the group. I kept seeking you out. I didn’t care if I was with anyone else.

It was you. You don’t understand how irritated I was when they horned in on you or how relieved I was when you returned to us.

It felt like a date, albeit a weird one since we were with twenty other people. ”

Robyn smiled. “Yeah, there was that.”

“Afterwards, I wanted more of your time.” I picked at my fingernail. “Honestly, I can trace it to our kayaking trip. After that, I was disappointed when you weren’t our instructor.”

“But what—”

“No, before you go on. When did you know?”

“I didn’t. I mean, until that dance in the forest, I’d convinced myself it was just a friendship.”

I tried to bite back my grin, but my eyes twinkled.

Robyn pointed at my face. “Just say it. I see it in your eyes.”

“I thought you were the enlightened one that had this shit figured out.”

Robyn threw her hands over her head. Her exaggerated mannerism made me smile. “I know. That’s why this is fucking me up so bad. I haven’t a clue what possessed me in the forest.”

“Do you regret it?”

Her gaze locked on mine. She didn’t speak for some time.

Finally, she said, “No. I want to tell you I do, but it’d be a lie.

That’s hard for me to accept. I did things I wasn’t supposed to do.

Felt things I shouldn’t feel. And to top it all off, I don’t regret it.

” Her eyes blazed. “What have you done to me, Blake Saunders?”

I smirked. “Shouldn’t the question be, what do I want to do to you?”

“Stop.” She held up her finger toward me, but her smile gave her away. “Even if I concede I didn’t violate any trust, you’re only here for two more weeks.”

“Aren’t you the one that taught me to let go of control?”

Robyn let out a low growl. “I hate it when my words come back to haunt me.”

I smiled. “Can’t we just enjoy the next two weeks together?”

“No strings?”

“No strings.”

“We’re doing this, aren’t we?” Robyn said.

“I hope so.”

She studied me for several beats before she said, “We take this slow.”

I nodded. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” She pointed at me. “But that’s it.”

“I can work with that.” I slid down the couch until my legs touched hers before I reached out and touched her lips with my fingertips. Electricity ran through me. Fuck. If my body reacted this way to touching her, it meant a cold shower tonight.

Robyn’s eyes flashed with desire, but there was a hint of fear. I wanted to erase her apprehension, so I gently circled her lips with my finger again. On the second pass, she opened her mouth slightly, and her tongue danced over my fingertips.

I shuddered. Fuck. Her smoldering eyes drew me in. I couldn’t look into them much longer, or I’d be lost, so I moved closer. I ran my hand through her carefree hair as my lips met hers.

Oh. My. God. Her lips yielded, softening with my kiss. My heart beat harder. The kisses I’d been used to were hard—aggressive. Full of lust, but this was gentle. Soft. I gasped and pulled back.

Confusion danced in her eyes. “Are you okay?”

I nodded but didn’t speak for fear my voice would betray me.

“Talk to me,” she said.

When I spoke, I was breathless. “I’m not sure I can.”

“What’s going on?” Concern clouded her eyes.

My gaze shifted to her lips. “I want to kiss you again.”

“Okay.” She grinned. “I’m game.”

This time, I was prepared for the softness of her kiss, but it didn’t stop the emotions from flooding through me, nor did it stop the electricity from coursing through my body.