Page 35 of No Such Thing as Serendipity

She pursed her lips, and I could see her thoughts churning. Eventually, she broke eye contact with me and glanced at the ground.

Victory! I’d stared her down, so why did it leave me feeling so empty?

“Would anyone else like to weigh in?” Robyn asked.

Emma was the first to speak, bailing Robyn out. I wanted to be angry with Emma, but how could I? My hostility must have confused her as much as it confused me.

The last twenty minutes stretched forever.

I remained stoic, with my arms crossed over my chest. Dana had a perpetual smirk and interjected snarky comments wherever she could.

The hardest part was watching Robyn, who did everything not to look at me.

As her gaze swept the circle, her eyes shifted, so she looked over my head, so our eyes never met.

I wondered if anyone else noticed. Emma surely did. The only positive of Dana sitting next to Robyn was at her angle, she wouldn’t see it.

When Robyn closed the meeting with a moment of quiet reflection, I closed my eyes and tried to still my thoughts.

My overwhelming thought was get me the hell out of here.

I didn’t care what class Emma chose for me, as long as it was far away from Robyn.

I’d do vulnerability ballet or verbal vomit bingo with any other instructor.

As soon as Robyn told us to open our eyes, I leaped to my feet. I’d almost escaped when I heard, “Blake, may I have a moment?”

Fuck. I kept walking as if I didn’t hear her.

“Blake. Teacher’s pet,” Dana called loudly. “You’re being summoned.”

I stopped midstride. If I didn’t respond, it would be obvious. I turned and faked a puzzled expression. “Huh?”

Dana’s eyes were hard, whereas Robyn’s were soft—tender.

Fuck her. Anger would be easier to deal with. Hurt would be preferred to the gentleness I saw in her eyes.

“Uh, yeah, I just don’t want to be late to my next class.”

The others hurried past me. I assumed they wanted to scatter as quickly as possible to give us privacy. Dana, on the other hand, took her time gathering her belongings.

Emma walked over to Dana and stood beside her. “Which class are you going to?”

“Um, I don’t know,” Dana stammered, seemingly caught off guard.

“Let’s go find out.” Emma moved forward and motioned Dana along.

As Emma escorted Dana from the room, I wanted to laugh at Dana’s expression.

Emma called to me over her shoulder. “Take your time. We aren’t scheduled to be anywhere until ten thirty.”

When the others had gone, Robyn motioned to a chair. “Would you like to sit?”

“No, I’d preferred standing.”

“Okay.”

One point for me.

“I’m sensing something from you.”

The woman is a genius.

When I didn’t respond, Robyn said, “I’ve upset you, and I’d like to make it right.”

I continued to stare. Without her asking a direct question, it wasn’t rude not to speak.

“I want to apologize again for my unprofessional behavior,” Robyn said.

“I heard you the first three times,” I snapped. So much for remaining silent until she posed a question.

“You seem unwilling to accept my apology. May I ask why?”

I turned up my nose as if she’d said something offensive. “Why do you feel the need to apologize? You said it yourself. It wasn’t a big deal, so I don’t know why you’re making it one now.”

“Oh, god, how could I be so stupid?” Robyn smiled. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” Robyn put her hand on my arm.

I flinched and stepped back. “What are you talking about? Why would my feelings be hurt? It was a stupid dance. We were screwing around, putting on a show. Nothing more.”

“Then why are you so angry?” Robyn asked.

“Why are you so quick to dismiss it?” I responded.

“Oh, Blake, I’m not trying to dismiss it. I’ve just never reacted this way with a student before. Never behaved that way. I was afraid I made you uncomfortable, so I thought it was my problem to deal with, not yours.”

Fuck. Now she decided to be truthful and vulnerable. I liked it better when she was apologizing. I needed to get this situation back under control. “That’s the thing about you touchy-feely sorts, you overthink everything. It was a fricking dance.”

“Do you believe that?” Robyn asked.

Damn her. How did I push someone like her away with all her calm?

Give me the hothead Dana any day of the week.

I did the only thing I could to save myself.

I lied. “Yeah, I believe that. It was just a dance. But all this groupthink and woo-woo stuff is making everyone read a bunch of bullshit into everything. I was screwing around, mocking the whole fucking silent dancing bullshit. It meant nothing.”

My words cut through me, so I wondered what they did to Robyn. If they hurt her, she didn’t show it. Her eyes remained soft and open.

“Okay.” She gave me a slight smile. “I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship. I’ve enjoyed your company and getting to know you.”

I shrugged. “The retreat’s done in a few days.”

She nodded. “But you will stay on for the next two weeks, won’t you?”

Will I? Maybe I’d tell Emma that I’d done my time, and I wanted to return to the city. I could get on with my career. Instead, I said, “Yes.”

“Good.” She clasped her hands together and put them against her chest. “I hope we can continue to spend time together.”

“It’s not like we’ll ever see one another again.”

“That might be true. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the time now.” Robyn gave me an even bigger smile. It was open and inviting.

It pissed me off. Had I imagined the pain in her eyes earlier? Was it a show of remorse for the others? Here she was deflecting my blows like I wasn’t even delivering them.

“Of course, if you’d rather not since I’m an instructor at the retreat, I understand and will respect your boundaries.”

Dismissed again. “How convenient.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“I bet you don’t. And Emma says I’m a control freak. What are you doing with your professionalism and boundaries? Putting it on me under the pretense of doing the right thing.”

Robyn pursed her lips. “I see.”

“Do you befriend all the attendees?”

It took several beats before Robyn replied.

“No, I don’t. While I have developed friendships before, they haven’t been quite like what seems to be developing between us.

” I noticed the movement of her throat, showing she swallowed hard.

It was the only indication of her emotions.

There was a crack in her calm demeanor, but only a small one.

It was enough for me to push. “Yet earlier you said it meant nothing.”

She looked at the ground. “I apologize if that’s what you thought I said.”

“Stop apologizing to me.” I raised my voice. “Talk like a human being. Get mad. Tell me off. Stop being so fucking controlled.”

As my words fell out of my mouth, I realized I was the one losing control.

Something I hated to do. “You know what? This conversation is getting us nowhere. Let’s chalk it up for what it is.

Our friendship distresses you.” I said the word friendship with more venom than I intended.

“So I’ll make it easy. Since we will never see each other again, it’s not worth your stress.

Not worth you kicking yourself for being unprofessional.

So I’ll set the goddamned boundary. You’re the teacher, I’m the student. End of story.”

I turned and exited the room. Tears burned hot in the corner of my eyes, but I refused to let them escape.

I stormed out of the villa, only to find Emma sitting on the porch, waiting for me.

I brushed past her and continued down the closest path that would take me into the woods.

Maybe surrounded by nature, I could get control of myself.

Blood pounded in my ears, and my pace quickened. Helena and Katlynn were standing near the firepit, but I didn’t look in their direction. I lifted my hand and waved but kept walking. It took everything in me not to sprint to the safety of the trees.