Page 37 of No Such Thing as Serendipity

By the time I slipped into the square, I was nearly running.

I headed straight toward the path leading into the woods, getting as far away from everyone as I could.

My feet pounded the path until I reached the clearing where we’d danced.

I didn’t intend to go there, at least consciously, but it was where I ended up.

Seeing the space, the memory of yesterday flooded over me.

I was unclear whether it was the fast walk or my thoughts that had me breathless.

I kneeled, trying to pull oxygen into my lungs.

Emotions flooded over me, and I blinked back tears.

Life was so much simpler before I came here.

I sat back on my heels. Sitting on the forest floor, I took deep breaths and listened to the sound of the birds in the trees.

My insides began to calm with each exhalation.

“You can run, but you can’t hide.”

The familiar voice made me jump.

“Em, Jesus, did you follow me?”

“Nah, I just happened to be walking past.” Emma laughed. “Of course, I followed you. After I saw you running from the square, I knew you’d need to talk.”

“Because I’m so damned good at talking about my feelings.”

“You are now. That’s why I brought you here.” Emma laughed. “If I’m not mistaken, you were using the breathing method we learned in class.”

I rose to my feet. I considered telling her to go away. Instead, I said, “Take a walk with me?”

Emma laced her arm through mine.

“You don’t mind missing our next session?” I asked.

“Somehow, I think this will be more beneficial than self-confession bingo.”

“Seriously? That’s what you signed us up for?” I turned and stared at her.

“No, I’m kidding.” Emma laughed.

The laughter released the tension in my shoulders. We walked in silence for a while before Emma said, “Tell me what happened.”

“Which part?”

“Nice try. Start with last night. Tell me what happened between you and Dana.”

“Nothing happened,” I practically shouted.

“I figured that.” Emma bumped her hip into mine as we walked. “Either that or you were terrible in bed.”

“Hey, I’ve had no complaints. In fact—”

“No. I don’t need to hear it. Unless you want to hear about Andrew and—”

“Stop. You win.”

“I thought you’d see it my way.”

As we rounded the bend in the path, the distinct sound of water filled my ears. “Hey, do you hear that?”

Emma paused and cupped her hand over her ear. “Faint. It sounds like running water.” Emma pointed through a thick patch of brush. “Through there.”

“Should we explore?”

“Are you trying to stall?”

“A little,” I admitted, knowing Emma would know the truth anyway.

“We check it out, but then we talk.”

“Deal.”

We pushed through thick undergrowth and walked a short distance before discovering a small waterfall. It couldn’t be over eight feet tall.

“I can’t believe you heard it,” Emma said. “We’ve walked this path several times and never discovered it.”

“Normally, you’re flapping your jaws, so we wouldn’t hear anything,” I said as I approached the waterfall.

Emma scowled. “Or your senses are heightened with everything going on.”

I pointed to a large rock near the waterfall. “Can we sit here and talk?”

Emma’s eyes widened. “If you’re agreeing to talk, I’d do it standing on my head in the middle of the waterfall if that’s what it takes.”

I snapped my fingers. “Damn. I wish I knew that. Is it too late?”

“Yes. Now get your ass up there so you can help me.”

I shimmied onto the rock and reached my hand down to Emma. She grabbed it, and I pulled her up. Once she was on the rock, I sat, and the warmth from the rock warmed my backside.

Emma slid down beside me and scooted closer, so our shoulders touched. This was good. I wouldn’t have to look her in the eye. Instead, I could stare into the waterfall. Something that always brought me peace.

“So what’s going on with Robyn?” Emma asked.

“I have no idea.”

“Seriously? We came here for you to give me a shit answer like that?”

“Relax. I’m not trying to be elusive. I just have no fucking clue.”

“I do!”

“Care to enlighten me?”

“You two want each other. Bad. But you’re both control freaks, in your own ways.”

“She doesn’t want me.” I hadn’t had time to process my conversation with Robyn, let alone the one I’d overheard between her and Dana. I was struggling to merge the two competing messages.

“I’d like it noted you didn’t say you didn’t want her.” Emma put her hand on my leg.

“She’s so not my type.”

“Also not a denial.”

I was tired of skirting the issue. “Every woman I’ve ever dated started with a physical attraction and—”

“How’d that work out for you?”

I glanced at Emma. “As you know, not so good.”

“Then maybe you should try something different.”

“Right. We’re only here for a couple more weeks. What’s the point?”

“A lot can happen in two weeks. Let go for a change.”

“Let serendipity?”

“Exactly. What will it hurt?”

A lot. But it wasn’t something I was prepared to say to Emma.

“Jesus,” Emma said. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Twin power.”

“We aren’t twins.” I scowled, even though she couldn’t see my face.

Emma shrugged. “You’re terrified.”

“I am not.” I put indignation into my tone, hoping Emma would back off.

“When Marta left, how many times did you cry?”

Emma’s question took me by surprise, so I answered without censoring myself. “Never. But I was too furious to cry.”

“Yet I’ve seen you tearing up twice over Robyn.”

“Bullshit! I wasn’t crying.”

“But you wanted to.” Emma squeezed my leg. “Come on, Blake. It’s okay to have emotions. They won’t kill you.”

Hmph. Little did she know, but I wouldn’t argue with her. “It’s just this whole experience. Everyone’s emotions are leaking all over. Too much estrogen in the air.”

“That’s a new one.” Emma laughed. “So you’re going to blame airborne estrogen for your leaking eyes.”

“Yes.” I crossed my arms in front of me. With the ridiculousness of my reaction, I couldn’t hold on to my anger. I let out a laugh.

“There’s my sister and her sense of humor.”

“What about yours?” I turned to Emma. “Where the hell did you come up with airborne estrogen?”

Emma grinned. “Maybe we can get a spray bottle of testosterone to counteract any of the negative effects you’re feeling from the high concentration of estrogen.”

We both burst out laughing and continued adding to the story, making it more preposterous as we continued.

After we laughed ourselves out, I said, “I think I hurt Robyn’s feelings.”

“Then apologize.”

I groaned. “That’s what got us into trouble in the first place. Her apologizing to me.” I ran my hand through my hair. “I think I might have blown it. Besides, how do I know she’s interested?”

“Oh, she’s interested.”

Hearing Emma say that after what I’d overheard caused my heart to leap, but at the same time, fear rushed through me. “You can’t know that.”

“I read romance novels all the time.”

“Straight ones.”

“So. Aren’t you always telling me love is love?”

“Fine. But what relevance is you reading smutty books?”

“Haven’t you ever heard of a slow burn?” Emma said, choosing to ignore my smut comment. She rubbed her chin. “I’m not sure you and Robyn qualify as a slow burn. Not after that dance. Friends to lovers?”

“We’ve only been friends for a minute.”

“Fine. We don’t need a trope. I know you, and I’ve never seen you react to someone like you do Robyn.”

“What?” I narrowed my eyes. “I’m forty-two fucking years old. I’ve had plenty of relationships. Robyn is nothing special. So what if I find her interesting?”

“Well, at least you admit that. With any of your other girlfriends, there’s this raw energy.”

“What the hell is raw energy?”

“Untamed. Edgy.” Emma shivered. “It’s uncomfortable. To be honest, unpleasant.”

“So my relationship with Marta was unpleasant to you?” Why was I just hearing this now?

“It was unpleasant for you, too.”

“Really? Do tell how you came to this conclusion.” I knew my tone was full of sarcasm, but I still wanted to hear Emma’s answer.

“You were never at peace with her.” Emma smiled. “This might come as a surprise, but you tended to be wound tight.”

I couldn’t help but smile, but I didn’t respond.

“When you were with Marta, she never balanced that. You became even more uptight—on edge.”

My stomach roiled at the thought of how true Emma’s words were.

“But with Robyn, when she’s around, you relax.” Emma touched my jaw and then ran her fingers across it. “The tension in your jaw isn’t as pronounced, and you don’t get frown lines on your forehead. She brings you peace.”

“Not anymore.” Tears welled in my eyes. “Damned airborne estrogen.” I swiped my eyes with the back of my hand.

Emma wiped a tear from my cheek. “And that’s why you need to do something about this. You’re changing, Blake. I see it. But you aren’t done yet.”

“And you think letting Robyn in will change that?”

Emma remained silent for some time as the water cascaded over the falls. “No, but it’s a start. A step in the right direction, but there’s more. And you know it.”

What did she mean by more? I considered asking her, but my emotions were stirred beyond where I wanted them to be, so I remained quiet.

“I know you’ll get there. I have faith in you.” Emma patted my knee. “But until you do, you’ll never be free. You owe it to yourself.”

I snuggled against my sister, enjoying the warmth from the rock and her body. I laid my head on her shoulder and watched the water cascade. Words were no longer necessary, so we sat enjoying the peace of the moment.