Page 93 of Nineteen Letters

When my father finally drew back, he turned his face away from me and wiped his eyes. My dad never showed his emotions, and my heart hurt for him as I swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump that had now formed in my throat.

“I called into the florist on my way home to get this for you.” He turned and picked up a clear plastic display box from the side table. There was a small white flower arrangement inside. “It’s a corsage for your date. I don’t know what colour her dress is, so I went with white to be safe. I bought one for your mother when we attended our school formal together.”

“Thanks, Pop,” I said again.

“I also wanted to give you this.” He then pulled a cheque out of his back pocket and handed it to me.

“What’s this?” I looked down and had to blink a few times when I saw all those zeros.

“It’s to pay your university fees.”

“You can’t afford this kind of money.” I extended it back towards him. “I can’t take this from you.”

“You can accept this, and you will,” he said, pushing my hand away. “Your mother and I used to put a few dollars away each week for your education, but then …” His words drifted off, but I knew what he was going to say. “I ended up having to use that money for her funeral.” My gaze moved down to the carpet, and the lump in the back of my throat grew bigger. “Life can be unfair sometimes, son, but you just make the best of what you’ve got.”

“But this is money you don’t have.”

“I took a small mortgage out on the store. I don’t want you to start your adult life with a huge student loan hanging over your head.”

“Pop …”

“Please. It would mean a lot to me if you’d accept this. I want you to have all the opportunities I didn’t. I want you to do something you’re passionate about, and have a successful career, a career you love. Be somebody, son … be the man you were destined to be.”

I sighed deeply before nodding my head. “I won’t let you down, Pop. I’m going to be the best damn architect this town has ever seen.”

“That’s my boy,” he said, patting my shoulder.

I only agreed to take the money because I knew how much it meant to him, but I felt horrible doing it. It was something that would weigh heavily on my mind for a long time to come. I knew how hard things were for him, and this extra loan to pay off would only make things harder.

“I took the car through a car wash earlier today so she was clean for you,” he added, grabbing the keys off the small table by the door and handing them to me. “Let me just get the camera. I’d like to take a few photos of you before you leave.”

I pulled out my phone and sent you a text; I didn’t want to go without seeing you. You’d been a little distant with me the past few days, which concerned me, but I thought you might have come over to see me before I left.

My father got me to stand in front of the large green bush in the yard while he snapped a few pictures. I kept looking down at my phone, but you still hadn’t replied. As I was about to say goodbye to Pop, your reply came through—and my heart sank. You were busy, you said, and couldn’t come outside.

It was unlike you, and as I drove to Samantha’s house, I replayed the past few days in my mind. I knew you were upset with me, because you’d never acted like that towardsme before. Maybe I was clueless, but I had no idea what I’d done wrong.

At the dance, I forced out a smile and pretended I was having a great time, but the truth was I was miserable. All I could think about was you.

While Samantha was on the dance floor with her friends, I ducked out for some fresh air. The first thing I did was pull out my phone to see if you had sent me any messages. You hadn’t. Leaning up against a brick wall, I closed my eyes and sighed.

“Braxton.”

My eyes sprang open when I heard my name. Standing a few metres away, like some beautiful apparition, was you. You were casually dressed in a pair of jeans and a white jumper. Your attire was in stark contrast to the ball gowns the other girls were wearing inside, but I remember thinking how beautiful you looked.

“Jem. What are you doing here?” Pushing off the wall, I closed the distance between us.

“I wanted to apologise for the way I’ve been acting these past few days.”

“You should’ve just texted me. How did you even get here?”

“I caught a bus.”

“In the dark … by yourself?”

“I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I saw you. I had to come.” You sighed as your gaze moved down to the ground.

“What’s going on, Jem?”