Page 144 of Nineteen Letters

That shining light that had begun to burn so brightly in the weeks prior was suddenly replaced by a dark and gloomy cloud that shrouded every part of me.

That’s why Lucas took me out for drinks last night. He could see it as well.I was a fucking mess.Broken beyond repair, or so I thought.

The final letter I slid under Jemma’s front door on the way home from the pub was a part of me giving up on the pipe dream that we’d once again be together as husband and wife. I never expected it would lead to this. I’m not complaining though; I’m rejoicing.

Jemma reaches for the hem of my T-shirt, fisting it in her hands and dragging it up my body. I lift my arms and draw back long enough for her to remove it altogether.

Even though I usually take the lead in the bedroom, I’m happy for her to control the pace. We’ve done this too many times to count, but this is all new to her now.

I need to be gentle.

Not just with her, but with her battered body.

Once my shirt is removed, I slide her jacket off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor as I back her into the wall.

Burying my fingers in her hair, so I can tilt her head back slightly, I deepen the kiss. Her hands move from my waist down to my arse in an attempt to drag me closer.

Taking the hint, I lightly press my torso against hers, savouring her warmth.

We stay like this—making out like a couple of teenagers—for the longest time. My cock is so hard it hurts, but I’ll wait for Jemma to give me a sign she’s ready for more before taking things to the next level.

Eventually, we come up for air, and that is when she asks, “Do we always kiss for this long before getting to the good stuff?”

I rest my forehead against hers and chuckle. “No.”

The nineteen-year-old inexperienced me would probably have his hand down the front of her pants, clumsily trying to bring her to orgasm with his fingers by now.

Braxton the man would have her stripped naked and he’d be buried balls deep, right here against the wall. He’d be pounding into that luscious body of hers, and she’d be loving every second of it.

“I love the way you kiss me, but …”

“I’m trying to follow your lead. I don’t want to rush you.”

“Don’t,” she says. “Please don’t do that. I want you to be normal with me … just like it used to be.”

“I don’t want to scare you.” It’s like my entire future is on the line here, and I’ll never forgive myself if I fuck this up.

“You won’t,” she reassures me, tenderly skimming her hand down the side of my face. “Besides, I want to see if you live up to all the hype.”

Despite feeling slightly anxious inside, I bark out a laugh. “Is that so?” I retort.

When she captures her plump bottom lip between her teeth and nods her head, my restraint snaps. Before I even realise what I’m doing, I’ve scooped her into my arms and deposited her on the bed.

I stand to my full height and gaze down at her beautifully flushed cheeks as my cock strains painfully behind the fabric of my sweats.

“Are you ready to have your world rocked, beautiful?” I ask, with all the bravado the old me once held.

Her memory loss has changed me as well. I never would’ve thought twice about anything when it came to us, but things aren’t what they used to be. Once, there were no boundaries in the bedroom. She was up for anything I dished out. But now we’re both trying to find our new normal.

I remain still, contemplating everything when she arches one of her perfectly sculptured eyebrows. “Are you going to put your money where your mouth is? Or just stand there and gawk at me?”

I grin smugly as I lean down and place my flattened palms on the mattress either side of her body, caging her in. This is the sassy, fun-loving Jemma I’ve missed.

My face is mere inches from hers when I declare, “Challenge accepted, sweetheart.”

With that, I snap out of my haze so I can give her what she wants. The old Braxton … no holds barred. The man who was always so sure of himself—the person she doesn’t remember.

I dip my face down to brush my lips with hers, sliding my hands underneath her shoulders at the same time, so I can lift her into a sitting position as I straighten.