Page 119 of Nineteen Letters

I’d barely put the car into park before your lips were on me.

“Can we move into the back seat?” you asked a few minutes later.

“Why?”

I was waiting for you to bring up sex again. It had become a touchy subject. You’d been mentioning it a lot, and I’d been avoiding it like the plague. In your defence, you didn’t know the plans I’d been working towards.

“Don’t worry, I won’t pressure you into having sex. I just want to kiss you without the gearstick digging into my side.”

“Jem, you don’t need to pressure me to have sex with you. You know I want this as much as you do, if not more. I just want it?—”

“To be perfect,” you said, finishing my sentence. “As much as I want this, I love that you care enough about me to want it to be special.”

You leaned forward and brushed your lips against mine, before climbing between the seats into the back of the car.

Once I joined you, I lifted you onto my lap so you were straddling me. “Now, where were we?”

“Right here,” you answered, placing your lips against mine.

It didn’t take long for our kiss to become heated. Even the windows in my father’s car had fogged up. You were grinding yourself against me. Usually, I wouldn’t let it go this far, because it was getting tougher for us both to deny ourselves, but we were only a few days away from going all the way, so this time I didn’t fight it.

Your movements quickened, and you moaned into my mouth. Although, like you, I was a virgin; I was far from naïve about what was happening. I had friends who’d had sex, and they talked about their conquests a lot, and in great detail.

Your fingers were digging into my shoulders when you pulled out of the kiss. Your bottom lip was captured between your teeth, and I saw your eyes roll back in your head as you tilted your face towards the roof of the car.

“Oh god, Braxton,” you whimpered. “This feels so good.” You released a long, drawn-out moan before stilling. Your cheeks were flushed and there was a glazed look in youreyes when they finally met mine again. “I don’t know what just happened, but I want to do that again.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “If I’m not mistaken, I’m pretty sure you just orgasmed.”

Your face was lit up with amazement. “Wow … just wow. That was incredible. I’ve never felt anything like it before. If sex feels that good, I want to do it right now.”

I lifted you off my lap. Two more days, I kept telling myself. Two more days.

Leaning forward, I reached across the passenger seat and took the plane tickets from the glovebox. I’d planned to surprise you the following day when I picked you up from work, but this moment seemed like the perfect time.

“What’s that?” you asked when I passed you the envelope.

“A surprise.”

A huge smile broke out on your face as you tore it open, revealing the tickets inside. “Oh, my god! We’re going on a plane?”

Even the mere mention of that word made me feel sick to the stomach. I could have easily taken you somewhere within driving distance, but your dream was to fly to an exotic beachside location, so I wanted this for you.

“Yes, we leave Friday, just the two of us. We’re flying to the Gold Coast and staying in a hotel on the beach until Sunday.”

Squealing, you threw yourself into my arms and squeezed me tight. “I can’t believe I’m finally going to get to go on a plane!” You drew back so you could see me, and the look on your face turned serious. “We’re going to have sex, right?”

I smiled. “Yes, we’re going to have sex.”

The nineteenth of January 2007. Eleven years to the day since we first met.

“You look nervous,” you said on the elevator ride to our room. It surprised me that you could tell now, yet you failed to see it on the flight.

“I am.”

Thankfully, I was now of legal drinking age, so I ordered a beer before boarding, and another one on the flight. It helped calm me somewhat.

The night before we left, my father had given me a man-to-man talk before presenting me with a box of condoms and a lecture on safe sex. The next morning, your father had done the same thing. I found out on the plane that your mother had given you a box of condoms as well. As awkward as all three conversations had been, we both found it amusing that we now had three boxes of condoms between us. How much sex did they think we were going to have?