Page 86 of Nineteen Letters

“I’m super, why?” The way he squirms in his seat tells me he knows where I’m going with this question.

“Are you going to pretend you didn’t tell me you were in love with Rachel the other night?”

He shrugs. “It was stupid drunk talk. I didn’t know what I was saying.”

“Right. You had what—two beers? I know you—even drunk-arse Lucas doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean.”

His body stiffens as his pleading eyes meet mine. “Can we drop it?”

“Okay. Just tell me one thing: how long has this been going on?”

“I don’t know. Five or six years, I guess,” he says, slumping back into his seat.

“Five or sixyears? Shit. How did I not see this?”

“Because you were always too busy following Jemma around like a lost puppy.” I smile at that; he’s probably right. “At first itwas a bit of fun. I mean, she’s hot, she’s funny … what’s not to like? We’d hook up now and then. After she moved to New York, I missed her, and that’s when I realised I’d developed genuine feelings.”

“And those feelings weren’t reciprocated?”

“I thought we were going to drop this,” he snaps, running his fingers through his hair as he huffs out a breath.

“I’m sorry, mate.”

“Shit happens. She’s not the first, and she certainly won’t be the last.” He tries to brush it off with a casual flick of his hand.

Why do I get the feeling that his words are hollow?

It’s around four when I leave the office. I’m not picking Jem up until six, but I have a few things to do before then.

The first thing on my agenda is to pick up my dry-cleaning, then head to the florist to buy flowers for Jemma. Not just any old flowers, her favourite kind.

I’ve made a reservation at our favourite restaurant, The Sea Shanty. It’s where I took her on our first date. She won’t remember that, of course, but I can only hope it will spark some kind of recognition, especially considering she designed the interior.

The food has always been amazing—the best seafood in town—but when we first started going there, the décor was dated and mismatched. It used to drive Jemma insane, so when the new management took over four years ago, she was delighted when they hired her to redesign the place.

I can’t wait for her reaction when she sees it. I told the owners, Matt and Naomi, about Jemma’s memory loss when I made the reservation.

I don’t want them to be offended by her aloofness, nor do I want them to say anything that might upset her. I need tonight to be perfect.

I take Bella-Rose for a walk along the beach when I get home from work, before jumping in the shower. I’m standing in front of the sink in the bathroom, shaving, when I hear my phone ding in the bedroom, alerting me I have a message.

After washing my face, I head back into the bedroom, with my towel hanging low around my waist. My black trousers and the blue shirt Jemma bought me when we were on our honeymoon in Hawaii are laid out on the bed. She said it reminded her of my eyes. It will be the first chance I’ve had to wear it.

When I see Jemma’s name on the screen, I get a sinking feeling in my stomach at the thought that she might be cancelling.

Jemma: I’m excited about tonight. Rachel and I went shopping yesterday afternoon. I bought a new dress. I hope you like it.

I’m smiling as I type my reply. The fact that she even cares if I like it means a lot. I don’t want to get my hopes up, because technically this is just a celebration dinner, but I have a good feeling about tonight.

Me: I’m looking forward to tonight too, I reply. I can’t wait to see your new dress. I don’t doubt for a second that you’ll look beautiful.

My stomach flutters with both excitement and nerves when I pull into Christine’s driveway. I wasn’t even this nervous when I took her out on our very first date, but things are different now.

The young, naïve Braxton took everything for granted. Back then, I presumed she would be mine forever, but now I know better.

I tell myself I’m being stupid. It’s just dinner with Jem, there’s nothing to be nervous about. We’ve dined together thousands of times over the years.

When the door opens and I’m greeted by Jemma’s smiling face, all my nerves vanish. I take a step back, as my eyes travel down the length of her body. The sight of her literally takes my breath away.