Page 101 of Nineteen Letters

As soon as we stopped, you removed your seatbelt and leaned over towards me. “I just want to kiss you again.”

We did a lot of kissing that day … a lot. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every minute.

After our incredibly hot make-out session in the car, we eventually arrived at the beach. We walked hand in hand to our usual spot before laying our towels down on the sand. You removed your sundress, while I pulled my T-shirt over my head.

As per usual we applied our own sunscreen to our arms, legs and face, then I did your back and you did mine.

In the past, I’d be quick—I didn’t want you to know how much I enjoyed having my hands on your skin—but things were different now. I no longer had to hide my feelings.

I took my sweet time as I slowly massaged the cream into your silky smooth skin. You knew exactly what I was doing.

You had a cheeky smile on your face as you held your ponytail to the side and glanced at me over your shoulder. Our eyes were locked as I moved my hands to your sides, splaying my fingers over your stomach. Your pretty brown eyes fluttered shut and a soft moan fell from your lips as I slowly and meticulously ran my hands up and down your torso.

It was at that stage I knew I needed to stop, so I dropped my hands down by my side. I knew that if I didn’t, I would end up with a tent in my pants, just like the night before. As much as I longed for the day I could explore your body the way I wanted to, this wasn’t the time or the place.

I chuckled when you pouted.

Reaching for your hand, I laced my fingers through yours as we ran down to the water. When we were aboutwaist deep, I let go and we both dived under an incoming wave. You surfaced right in front of me.

You positioned your arms around my neck as your lips connected with mine. This situation was new to us, but we seemed to make the transition from best friends to lovers effortlessly. One thing I’d learned since last night was that you liked to kiss.

When my arms slid around your middle, pulling your body flush with mine, you wrapped your legs around my waist under the water.

I groaned into your mouth when you ground yourself against me. The devious smile on your face as you pulled out of the kiss told me you knew exactly what you were doing.

Your hands moved to the sides of my face, and your eyes locked with mine. “I want you to be my first. I want to experience everything with you, Brax.”

“I want that too, Jem, but not here. Not with an audience. I want our first time to be special.”

You smiled before brushing your lips against mine. “I love you, Braxton Spencer.” Your face dropped as you waited for my reply. It never came. “Don’t you love me too?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then why don’t you say it? You’ve never told me you love me.”

“Just because I don’t say it, doesn’t mean I don’t.”

You looked hurt as you untangled your legs from my waist and stood in the shallows, your arms dropping by your side. “Well, it would be nice to hear it.”

You tried to pull away from me, but my arms were still around your waist, and I wasn’t letting go anytime soon. “The last person I said those words to … died.”

You frowned, trying to make sense of what I was saying, then realisation hit.

“Your mum?”

“Yes.” Bowing my head, I focused on the water around us as I tried not to let the memories of that night take over.

“Oh Braxton,” you said, sliding your arms underneath mine. You held me tight as you rested the side of your face against my chest. “You never have to say those words to me if it makes you feel uncomfortable. As long as I know you love me, that’s all that matters.”

I placed a soft kiss on your hair. “Know that I do, Jem … I always have … and I always will.”

What we had is far too beautiful to be forgotten.

Yours always,

Braxton

Chapter 29