Page 128 of Nineteen Letters

“That old-looking thing with the cracked screen?” he mumbled.

“Yes. I love that watch … Jem gave it to me. Have you seen it?”

“Nope,” he answered, rolling onto his side and covering his face with a pillow.

I grabbed the spare key to your apartment and headed over there—and felt utterly disillusioned when I left empty-handed. This was the first time in five years that my watch hadn’t been strapped to my wrist, and I felt lost without it.

As soon as I got to campus, I searched my locker before heading to the lost property department. I didn’t text you at all that day. I felt sick inside and didn’t know how to tell you I’d misplaced the gift you’d given me all those years ago.

As the days passed, I doubted I would ever see it again. A few times you asked me if everything was okay, or whyI was acting weird. I’d smile and play it down. I knew I couldn’t keep it from you forever. I’d even considered trying to buy a replacement, but I wanted the one you gave me, not an imitation.

The night before my birthday, Rachel went out with some friends, so you cooked a romantic dinner for the two of us at your apartment. It was also the night I had planned to come clean. I rubbed my hand over my wrist as I tried to think of the best way to tell you, but there was no good way.

“Jem,” I said, reaching for your hand across the table. “I have a confession to make.”

“A confession?” You screwed up your forehead as you spoke.

“I … I umm …”

“Jesus, Braxton, you’re scaring me. What have you done?”

There was no easy way to say it. “I lost my watch … the one you gave me.”

“Oh thank god,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I thought you were going to say something far worse than that.”

“I’m not sure it could get any worse. I loved that watch.”

You giggled as you stood, which only confused me. There was nothing humorous about this. You’d worked hard to save the money to buy me that watch.

My eyes followed your every move as you disappeared into your room and then emerged a few moments later with a small wrapped box in your hand.

“This is only part of your present. You have to wait until tomorrow for the rest.”

I was perplexed. I’d lost the watch, and you were giving me a present?

Reality dawned as soon as I opened the box. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was filled with mixed emotions: relief, confusion, and anger.

“That’s my watch!” The screen had been replaced, and it sported a shiny new band.

“It is,” you replied, your face lighting up. “Surprise.”

“You had it all along?”

“Yeah, I wanted to surprise you.”

All I could think of was the stress I’d lived through that past week. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice it was missing? I’ve worn it every day since you gave it to me.”

“Are you mad at me?” You pouted your bottom lip.

“Yes … no.” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I understand you were doing a nice thing, but I love thiswatch and everything it represents. This week was a total nightmare. I was devastated, thinking I’d lost it.”

“I’m sorry.” You closed the distance between us and enveloped me in your arms. “Do you forgive me?”

“Of course.” It was impossible to stay mad at you. “I’m just glad to have it back.”

“They did a great job with it.”

“It looks great.” It looked shiny and new, like the first day you’d given it to me.