Page 137 of Nineteen Letters

We had only one more week of work, then we were off for an entire month. I was eager to spend every second of that time with you.

Life was good … it was perfect, actually. Sometimes I worried it was too perfect. My parents had been happy, right up until the moment my mother died. Your parents had been happy too until everything fell apart.

Even though our future looked bright, something niggled deep inside me. It was a deep-seated concern for what possibly lay ahead. It seems so ironic now.

The nineteenth of January 2015. Lucas placed his hand on my leg as we sat in the front pew at the church. “Will you stop that,” he complained. “That bouncing is making me edgy.”

I wasn’t nervous, I was excited. In a matter of minutes, you would arrive. I looked down at my watch and smiled. Two minutes, to be precise. You’d promised me the day before that you wouldn’t be late, and you’d never broken a promise.

When the priest took his place in front of the altar, he signalled for Lucas and me to stand. “Good luck, son,” my father said as I passed him. I didn’t need luck. I was already the luckiest man on earth because I had you.

Chills ran up my spine as the music played. ‘Endless Love’, sung by Stan Walker and Dami Im was the song you chose. You told me you’d heard it on the radio, and it made you cry. “It’s like it was written for us,” you had said.

Rachel appeared in the doorway first. She looked beautiful in a jade-green dress that she had designed herself; she designed your wedding dress too. I had yet to see it, but you’d told me how much you loved it.

I leaned slightly to the left, trying to catch a glimpse of you, but all I could see was a flash of white.

I smiled at Rachel as she slowly walked down the aisle towards me. She was a quarter of the way down before you came into full view. My heart skipped a beat as soon as my eyes locked with yours.

Even though the veil was over your face, I could see that your eyes were trained on me. I’ll never forget the look on your face as you made your way down the aisle. You looked so happy, as happy as I felt.

My gaze didn’t leave you until you were standing before me.

“Who gives this woman’s hand in marriage today?” the priest asked.

“I do,” your father replied.

He reached out and shook my hand before taking a seat beside my dad. Your mother had put up quite a fuss about him attending the wedding. She insisted we keep him as far away from her as possible. You were still hurting from the break-up, but there was no way you were getting married without him present, so we compromised.

I reached for your hand, lightly tugging you towards me. “You look beautiful,” I whispered.

“So do you,” you replied.

I helped you pull your veil back and then interlaced your fingers through mine. I wanted to kiss you badly in that moment, but I knew I had to wait.

Surprisingly, we both held it together as we exchanged vows and rings.

“I love you, Mr Spencer,” you whispered hours later as I pulled you into my arms on the dance floor at the reception for our first dance as husband and wife.

“I love you too, Mrs Spencer,” I replied, placing my lips on yours.

The twenty-first of January 2015. It was the day we arrived in Kauai, on the shores of Tunnels Beach in Hawaii, and took refuge in our beautiful ocean villa.

We made the most of our honeymoon, enjoying every moment of our time together. We took long walks on the beach, and ate exquisite food that was brought to our villa every day via a canoe. We swam in our private ocean pool, and we made love into the early hours of the morning. We were so far removed from the rest of the world, andneither of us wanted it to end. If I’d known the horrors that awaited us after our return, I would have kept you on that island forever.

They say that after you marry someone, things don’t change, that it’s just a piece of paper. I don’t agree, because things were different for me. I felt closer to you than I ever had, if that was even possible. You were no longer just an extension of me; you were a part of me.

What we had is far too beautiful to be forgotten.

Yours always,

Braxton

I found two things inside the envelope: a small car charm that had the words‘Just Married’on the back, and my wedding band. I slide it onto my finger next to my engagement ring. Braxton said that there was nothing sad in this letter, but sad … broken, or maybe lost, would be the best way to describe how I’m feeling right now.

I wish we could go back in time … before the accident. I want to be the old Jemma. The woman who loved Braxton with her entire heart, and was loved just as fiercely in return.

Chapter 37