Page 55 of Nineteen Letters

Laying it out on the grass, I take a few minutes to figure out how to extend it to full height, before locking it into place. A small groan escapes me as I haul it up and manoeuvre it against the trunk of the tree.

I make sure it’s securely fixed in place before I start to climb. I feel none of the crippling fear that Braxton mentioned in his letter. Heights obviously aren’t something I’m afraid of. The higher I get, the more disappointed I become. So far I’ve seen nothing engraved into the trunk. There’s still a lot of tree above, and I’ve almost reached the top of the ladder.

That’s when I notice the broken branch. It’s about a metre above my head. Butterflies flutter in my stomach as I climb one more step and slowly make the transition from the ladder to the large branch that sits below the broken one. I hope it can hold my weight.

It would have made more sense to just ask Braxton what he carved into the tree, but I feel compelled to see it with my own eyes.“I was carving my heart into that trunk. My deepest, darkest secret.”I need to know what that was.

My fingernails dig into the bark as I get my footing right before stretching my body upwards. At first, I don’t see it, but then I notice a heart that has blended into the bark over theyears. Engraved within this heart are letters and a word:BS loves JR. The sight of it touches me deeply.

He voiced it out loud not long after I got out of the hospital, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable, but things have changed between us since then. Our renewed friendship is blossoming.

I’m not sure if it’s because the young Braxton took the time to do this despite his crippling fear of heights. Or maybe I’m just scared that I’ll never feel the things I once did, and won’t get to experience that once-in-a-lifetime love again. I’m completely overcome with emotion as I slide my arms around the tree, hugging it with all my might. I then I do something I haven’t done since I woke from my coma … I sob my heart out.

“Hi, Dad,” I say when he rises from his chair and kisses my cheek. He called me last night and invited me to lunch. It worked out well because Braxton dropped me off after my physio and I didn’t have to hurt Stephen’s feelings by telling him Christine doesn’t want him anywhere near the house.

“Hi, pumpkin. You look well.”

I find myself smiling at his pet name for me. I wouldn’t have known that if it wasn’t for the letters.

“Thank you. I feel great.”

Well, a lot better than I used to feel, anyway. I have the will to live now, and as much as I yearn to be the person I once was, I’m coming to terms with the fact that may never happen. But it doesn’t mean I have to stop living, or that I can’t enjoy the future that lies ahead. I’m already making new memories.

“How’s rehab going?”

“Really well. Starting next week, I only have to go two days instead of five.”

“That’s wonderful news.”

Itiswonderful news, but there is a part of me that’s disappointed because it means I might not get to see Braxton every day.

“How are things going at the bank?”

“Great … busy.”

I smile before speaking again. “Can I ask you a favour?”

“Sure. Anything,” he replies.

I reach into my bag and pull out the envelope that contains my memory bracelet and charms. “Could you attach these for me?” I open the flap and tip them out into the palm of my hand to show him. “I don’t have the tools to do it myself.”

“I can certainly do that for you,” he says.

I had thought about asking Braxton to do it, but I want to see the look on his face when he notices it on my wrist.

“There’s a list inside the envelope with the order I need them in. Hopefully, I’ll have more to add to it. Can we leave room for them?”

“Anything you want, pumpkin.” Again, I smile when he calls me that. “Where are these charms from?”

“Braxton.”

He nods his head as he takes the envelope from me, placing it in the pocket of his suit jacket. “Are you ready to order?”

“I am. I’m starved.”

“Me too,” he says smiling. “I’ve taken an extended lunch break, so there’s no rush. Spending time with my little girl is more important.”

I pick up the menu off the table, and suddenly the number of choices makes me anxious.