Page 138 of Nineteen Letters

Jemma

I’ve pulled up Braxton’s number numerous times throughout the day but chickened out from calling. It’s been three whole days since I’ve seen him, and he’s made no contact with me. It has rained since Wednesday, so I haven’t been able to run along the beach, which means I’ve missed breakfast with him too.

The longer I don’t hear from him, the more I worry.I miss him so much.I miss him to the point that I think I’m pining for him.

I stand and start to pace back and forth in my room. I can’t settle. I open the laptop sitting on my desk. It’s almost 7 pm here, so that would make it 5 am in New York. I know Rachel gets up early to go to yoga before work, so I take the chance to Skype with her.

“Jesus, Jem, it’s five o’clock in the morning here,” she says as her face comes into view on the screen. Her eyes are squinting from the bright light of the monitor, and her hair is sticking up all over the place. I have to stifle my laugh. She looks like a hot mess.

“I’m sorry. I just … I don’t know … needed to talk to you.”

“Hey, what’s up? Is everything okay?”

“Yes … no. I haven’t heard from Braxton in three days.”

“Oh. Did you two have a fight? Things seemed to be going so well.”

“No, we didn’t. That’s the thing, it’s been wonderful … he’s been wonderful.”

“Maybe he’s just busy with work. You said yourself their company was doing well.”

“Maybe. Seeing him every day, and then not seeing him at all … it’s hard. I miss him.”

“Is he still writing you letters?”

“I’m not sure. The one he gave me three days ago was about our wedding day, and our honeymoon … that was just before the accident, so maybe it was the last letter.”

“I see.” She ponders this briefly, then continues. “Maybe he’s feeling disillusioned.”

I never thought about it like that. Could he be giving up on us?

“Possibly,” I reply, suddenly feeling deflated.

“Call him, Jem. Ever since the accident, he’s fought hard to try to win you back. He’s been so patient, and he gave you the distance you needed. Throw him a bone. He at least deserves that after all the effort he’s put in.”

“You’re right,” I say, looking down at the carpet. He’s done all the chasing. It’s about time I did some of my own. “I’m going to call him. Thanks, Rach. I’m sorry if I woke you … go back to sleep.”

“Yeah right, I’m wide awake now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. I can call you back on my lunch break … what time will it be there? Oh, that’s right, 2 am.”

“Don’t you dare,” I say, giggling.

“At least I got you smiling, pretty girl.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you in ten days.”

“I can’t wait.”

She has finally decided to come home. She’s already given notice at her work and started packing up her apartment. I’m looking forward to having her back here. With Braxton’s help, I’m going to try to work out this thing between her and Lucas.

After we say our goodbyes, I log off and pick up my phone. This time I don’t hesitate to press the call button.

“Jem. Is everything okay?” Braxton says as soon as he answers my call.