Page 115 of Nineteen Letters

She lifts her hand off my leg and places it on the side of my face. When her gaze flickers down to my mouth, I don’t hesitate to bring my lips to hers. This time I don’t ask permission; I need to seek solace in her. She has always been my comfort, my happy place.

I’m taken aback when she shifts her body before climbing onto my lap and straddling me. It’s hard for me to hold back and not take the lead, but I know I have to let her move things at her own pace.

When her lips meet mine again, my fingers slide into her hair as I tilt her head back slightly, deepening the kiss.

“Braxton,” she breathes into my mouth.

The restraint I’m forced to show makes me feel like I’m a kid again, not an adult who has been deeply intimate with his wife too many times to count. She’s even harder to resist now because I know what I’m missing.

I groan when she pushes her hips forward, seeking the friction. My hands move down to her waist as I slowly rock her body against mine. I already know I’ll be having another cold shower tonight, but this isn’t about me, it’s about her. I want her to experience this. It’s something the old Jem couldn’t get enough of.

“Braxton.” Her fingernails dig painfully into my shoulders as she picks up the pace on her own. When she pulls out of the kiss and tilts her head back, a perfect little ‘O’ forms on her lips. I know what’s about to happen, because I’ve seen that expression so many times over the years. “Oh god,” she moans as she continues to move against me. “Mmm,” she whimpers as another wave hits. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to stand and carry her up to our room.

Her body goes limp and collapses against mine. “What just happened?”

This moment is like déjà vu.

“You had an orgasm.”

I can tell she’s mortified when she buries her face further into my chest. “You must think I’m an idiot.”

“Far from it.” I place my finger under her chin and lift her face so I can see her. “Your very first orgasm happened in the same way.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We were making out in the back of your car. You were straddling my lap, just like you are now.”

“Did I know what was happening?”

“Nope. You asked me the same question.”

“I’m sorry.” Her expression shows genuine concern.

“Sorry for what?”

“For what just happened.”

“Never apologise for that. Watching you come undone is still one of my favourite things to witness. The look of ecstasy on yourface,” I say as I tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “The way you bite your bottom lip between your teeth. Those sexy little noises you make.” The pad of my thumb gently skates across her mouth as I speak. “The sweet blush that spreads across your cheeks. The look of pure lust in your eyes. You have no idea what it does to me.”

“Did I get embarrassed back then too?”

I lift her off my lap and seat her beside me before discreetly adjusting my aching cock. I can’t have this conversation with her while she’s straddling me.

“Hardly,” I chuckle. “You asked me if we could do it again.”

“Geez, I was forward,” she says, turning a deeper shade of red.

Her comment makes me laugh. “Not at all. We were young and still experimenting. I loved the way you were. I loved everything about you.” I want to addI still do, but I don’t. “We’d never been with anyone else, only each other.”

Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles. “I like that.”

“You’re all I ever wanted, Jem. Nobody could hold a candle to you.”

She tucks her legs up under her chin, and I settle back into the lounge and cross my legs, trying to hide my raging hard-on.

“Did we … you know … have sex often?”

I have to roll my lips to suppress my smile because I can tell she’s uncomfortable asking that question. It’s very sweet.