Page 67 of Nineteen Letters

I stare down at the tiny ice-cream charm in my hand, and I do something I haven’t done all week …I smile.

Chapter 22

Jemma

Ilook at the clock beside my bed and see it’s only 5.15 am. I hardly slept last night. My head is all over the place. I’m restless and can’t seem to find peace.

Throwing back the covers, I get up and head to the bathroom. I can’t stand being cooped up in this house anymore. I need to get out and get some fresh air into my lungs.

Leaning over the vanity, I splash water onto my face. When I look in the mirror, I see dark circles under my eyes.

After brushing my teeth and running a comb through my hair, I head back into my room. Pulling my nightgown over my head, I toss it on the bed. I’m getting out of here for the day, and I know exactly where to go. The place where I feel most at peace … the beach.

The sun hasn’t even risen by the time I leave a note on the kitchen table for Christine and close the front door behind me. It’s getting lighter, though, as I make my way to the bus stop.

The bus pulls up as I approach the stop, and I have to jog the last ten metres so I don’t miss it. I still have a slight limp, but I can live with that.

I hope to be at the beach before the sun rises. According to my phone, today’s sunrise should be around 6.30 am. I should make it in time.

I zip up the front of my jacket and pull the hood over my head as I make my way across the sand. There’s a nip in the air this morning.

The bus stops further down the beach, but just like my last visit I find myself drawn towards my favourite house; the pretty white one with the sky-blue shutters and trim around the windows.

Once I reach my destination, I stand and stare at the house for a few seconds, before turning to face the ocean. I’m just in time: the sun is rising. I fill my lungs with the fresh sea air and sit down on the sand.

I pull out my phone when the sun appears on the horizon and snap a few shots. It’s just as beautiful as I imagined it would be.

Dragging my hood further down over my head and sighing, I stare out at the ocean. I knew coming here was what I needed; I’m already feeling calmer.

I draw my legs towards my chest and wrap my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. I close my eyes, letting the sound of the waves soothe my soul. I’m so lost in the moment that I don’t even hear the footsteps approach until I’m almost barrelled over. My eyes spring open when a cute little dog jumps onto my lap and licks the side of my face.

“Hello there,” I say, giggling at its excitement.

“Bella-Rose!” I hear someone call from the distance, and my body instantly tenses. I not only recognise that name but the voice that accompanies it. I quickly stand and reach for my bag just as the dog jumps against my leg. “Bella-Rose,” he says again in a breathless tone. The voice is coming from behind me now, but I can’t bring myself to turn around. “Come here, girl.” Hereaches down, scoops up the dog, and I’m compelled to turn and run. “I’m so sorry about that, she’s never done that before.”

My hood is up and my back is to him, so he can’t see my face. But it’s no use, there’s no escape.

When I turn, the first thing I see is the surprise on his face. “Jemma.”

“Hey.” My gaze moves to the left of him, and then to the right. He’s on his own. Then I look at the dog in his arms and it dawns on me.I feel like such an idiot.

“What are you doing here?” he asks as a smile spreads across his face.

“I just needed some air. I’ve been cooped up in Christine’s place all week.”

“I know. I came around the other day. You haven’t been answering my calls or texts. I was starting to worry. I thought maybe you were avoiding me.”

I lift one shoulder. I’m certainly not going to admit that I thought his dog was his damn girlfriend. “I needed some space from the world. I was feeling overwhelmed by …everything.”

“That’s understandable,” he says, reaching out and rubbing his hand down my arm. It leaves a tingly feeling in its wake. “You are dealing with some huge changes in your life.”

He’s always so kind and understanding.It makes me feel shitty about how I’ve been behaving lately.

“I’m sorry I didn’t return your messages.”

“You don’t need to apologise.”

“So, is this your dog?” I ask, trying to sound casual but probably failing. “I remember you mentioning you wanted to get one.”