Page 8 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love

“I know Precious, and I love you too. Now go on.” He said closing the door.

I walked down the driveway and made it as far as the gate before I heard a single gunshot.

POW! I jumped and ran back to the door trying to get in, but it was locked.

“Daddy!” I banged on the front door, to no avail and to an answer.

Rushing to the living room window, the sight that I was looking at was one I’d live with forever.

My daddy laid lifeless on the floor with one shot to the head and dead eyes.

When I turned around, the police were already pulling up and I was being hauled off back to the group home when it was all said and done.

The way the papers read it, a father and his stepson had a disagreement causing the stepfather to stab his stepson right before turning the gun on himself.

They could think what they wanted, I knew the truth.

“So, what really happened Kish? Don’t you want to talk about it? Like you’ve been out of it for the last couple of days. I need the old Kish back.” Mya said sitting across from me in the group home. Luckily, they allowed us to share a room.

“The old Kish is dead and gone.” I replied looking in my books studying for a test. If it were up to me, I’d quit school but since the group home forced me to go and frequently stayed on top of our attendance, then I had no choice.

Mya rolled her tiny eyes and blew hard. “This is sad Kisha. I’m sorry about what happened to you, but you can’t just give up on life. That’s not the way. I watched my mama’s mistress kill her, my daddy, and my big brother and I’m still pushing forward even when I want to give up.”

I put the book down looking at her now. “Why did he spare you? I’m not trying to be funny or nothing.” I said. “That’s a serious question.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Because, I was his biological child, even though the man I knew as ‘daddy’ was raising me.” She replied.

I frowned thinking to myself about how fucked up life had been and how shit played out. Like the way I saw it was if God truly loved us, then why did he let the young go through so much?

“That’s messed up.” I said. I really didn’t have another reply for that, that was real foul that she had to watch that. In all honesty, we both saw a lot at a young age.

“I know.” She said standing up. “But I’m not gonna sit in misery about it. Are you coming down to eat?” She asked.

I shook my head. “No, you go ahead.”

Mya looked at me one more time before she walked out leaving me alone with my books.

I hated this place, but not more then I hated being raped by Clint.

My heart went out for Trent and Brittany.

I knew that they hated my dad for what they thought he did to Clint.

One day I was going to try and reach out to Trent because not only was he a good stepbrother to me while I was there, he was also a good friend.

I got up and went to my drawer using my key to unlock it and pulled out a piece of crumbled up paper that held Kidd’s number on it.

I was so bored and out of place in this home, Mya was the only person who I really spoke with in here which led me to finally call Kidd one day.

Not because I really wanted to talk, but I figured I better try to build some kind of social life because when I got out of this place, I would need some friends.

The only good thing about it was they allowed me to get an afterschool job.

When I went to Mrs. Russell and asked for a position and after hearing about what happened, she was glad to help me out.

I spent most of my afternoons working, but since I had a curfew, I had to be back to the home by 10pm every night.

The library didn’t even stay open that late, so after it closed, I had a little free time.

I frequently used that time to myself sitting on the stoop of the library or in the diner across the street reading books.

Kidd had somehow convinced me to read the ‘Law of Attraction’ so that was my current read, and I was hooked.

I bit down into my donut and sipped on my Pepsi while reading until Kidd pulled up in his charcoal-colored Benz.

Everybody in the diner wanted to know who was hopping out but I already knew.

I shook my head, he was such a show off.

Every time I saw him, he was wearing a new piece of jewelry or driving a new whip.

I closed the book and waited for him to approach the table that I was sitting at.

“Hey Kidd.” I stood up greeting him.

“What’s up Kisha?” He spoke sitting directly across from me wearing a flyy Chinchilla and the only reason I knew what that was is because a lot of rappers talked about it.

It was still cold, this was record-breaking for it to be as cold as it still was in Miami; this had been going on for months now. “How you liking the book?” He asked.

I smiled. “It’s so good, it’s very powerful. Like you said a lot of knowledge.”

“Good. That’s the only kind of shit that I read, if it don’t give knowledge, it don’t make sense.”

“Are you eating?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Nah, I just ate. I only came to see you. How you holding up?”

I told him all about what happened to me; well not the truth, but the same story that the news put out. “I’m fine, I can’t wait until the day I can leave; the countdown begins.” I said.

“I can’t wait either so I could finally have you all to myself.” He said grilling when he smiled.

I didn’t know what to say about that, so instead of saying anything I smiled.

“Where you gonna go when you get out of there?” He asked.

“I really don’t know.” I told him. “I was thinking about going away to college and at least I can live on campus. Either that or find me a little cheap apartment, I’ve been saving up for it.”

He looked at me like he was letting what I just said marinate. “What if you just came with me? I live in a big ass house all by myself, you can stay there if you want.”

That was sweet but I declined. “That’s okay.”

He frowned. “Come on, I won’t do shit to put you in harm’s way. If I’m offering, you better take it cause it’s plenty of other girls who’d love to have that spot.”

I wasn’t sure of what he meant by ‘spot’ I wasn’t his girlfriend so what spot?

I adjusted the hood on my jacket and thought about what he was saying.

Ironically, all I could think about was ‘Rags’ in my head giving me the speech about don’t ever do shit for free.

So, if he wanted me to come stay with him, then what did I owe him?

“What do I owe you for that?” I asked.

He looked at me sideways like I shouldn’t have been asking him that question.

“Did I say something wrong?” I asked.

“Well, you damn sho ain’t say something right Kisha.

Every time I offer you something, you ask a nigga what you owe me.

You don’t owe me shit cause if you did, you’d know.

I’d tell you that. For instance, if it was about pussy then I’d tell you…

.come live with me in exchange for some pussy.

It ain’t like that, I’m just trying to help. ”

I looked into his eyes to see if he was telling the truth but that was no use. I wasn’t a good judge of character at all. I thought about what he was saying, and truth was, I really would need somebody to lean on until I got on my feet. Reluctantly, I agreed.

“I guess I can do that.” I had been through worse and right now it really wasn’t much that I was scared of.

Kidd was getting ready to say something else but the scratching noise coming from outside of the glass had both of our attention.

Imagine the look on my face to see my mama standing out there with her hair wild and sticking on top of her head.

Her eyes were wild, and she wore a pair of hot pink spandex shorts with a sports bra exposing her pudgy stomach.

“Kisha! Is that you Kish? I know that ain’t my baby.

” She smiled showing her yellow teeth. It was crazy how shit changed in almost a year.

Of course, I knew what she looked like because she was my mama; however, she looked way different then I remembered.

“You got some money Kish? I told you about being out late with no money. Give me some of that money your daddy left behind for you.” She went on waving her hands in front of the glass.

I knew she was on something and I should’ve known she’d show up sooner or later.

The money that I would receive from my daddy was money I couldn’t have access to until I was eighteen.

Kidd looked from me to the glass. “Who the fuck is that Kish?”

I was ashamed and embarrassed, but I told him the truth. “That’s my mama.” I replied.

“Kisha Armani Rhodes! You hear me girl, get on out here. Look at you, you so beautiful.” She said.

This time when I looked at her, she had her whole face smeared up against the glass looking like a black ass blowfish.

“I heard you lived on this side of town Kisha! I’ve been looking for you. ” She beat on the glass.

“Yo Kish.” Kidd said. “What the fuck? You okay?”

I shook my head ashamed because everybody in the diner was focusing on us. “Kidd.” My lips trembled. “Get me the fuck out of here.”

He stood up and looked at her shaking his head. “This shit is sad.” He mumbled.

Truth to the matter was my mama had been self-destructing for years; this time she was all the way out there. Kidd walked me to the back of the diner and through the kitchen. The manager stopped us on our way. “You can’t go though here.” He said.

Kidd pulled a fifty-dollar bill from his pocket and put it in his hand. “Albert?” He said reading his name tag. “We have an emergency, and we really can’t go out of the front.” He said.

Meanwhile, my emotions were all over the place.

I never wanted to see her ass again. I don’t know why she couldn’t just leave me alone.

She didn’t even want me when I was living with her.

Now she wouldn’t even let me move on in life in peace.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and pushed through the back.

“Stay right here.” He told me. “I’mma go get the car.” He said walking off leaving me standing there in the cold. A few minutes later, I saw the headlights to his Benz coming down the side. He rolled down the front window. “Come on.”

I hopped in the passenger seat and slammed the door before putting my seatbelt on. “Is she gone?” I asked.

“I gave her fifty dollars to leave now. I gave her another two hundred to leave you alone and she was happy with that.” He backed out into the street as we rode with the windows down.

The night air hit my face with a cool breeze as my body soaked up the butter leather seats.

The scent of air freshener hit my nostrils.

This was the first time ever that I’d rode in a nice car like this.

My mama drove a bucket all her life, so this was luxury at its best.

Kidd turned up the music and headed to the group home; it was almost curfew, and I needed to get inside.

When we pulled up, he turned the music back down.

“Kish, don’t even worry about that shit that just happened at the diner.

You’ll be out of here soon and shit is about to start looking up for you. I promise you that.” He said.

I took a deep breath and looked Kidd in his eyes. I hated that I had to see her again; especially like that, but he was right, I couldn’t dwell on that. This shit had me feeling like I was born not to win. I couldn’t let the devil trick me, not just yet; especially when I had a whole life to live.

“You’re right Kidd. Thank you for dropping me off.” I opened the door and let myself out as my grey Puma’s hit the pavement.

“If you can, try to text me tonight.” He said.

I leaned down in the car holding the door with one hand. “I’ll try.” I replied. “See you another day Kidd and be safe out here.”

He gripped the steering wheel with one hand. “I’m always safe.”

I nodded my head and turned to walk away feeling nervous cause I knew he was watching me; all men watched me, and I hated it.

Ever since Brittany had given me that makeover, taught me how to take care of myself, and my needs as far as being a young lady I’d been keeping it up.

I buzzed for bell and showed my badge to be let inside.

Looking at the time, I took a deep breath, I’d just beat curfew by five minutes.