Page 7 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love

“I don’t want to think about the past.” I said. “What I want to know is, how are you holding up? Like, how are you really holding up?”

He shook his head. “It’s tough….it’s really tough. I may wake up tomorrow and not have a wife.” He admitted. I swallowed hard, I didn’t even know what to say about that. “Let me ask you something Precious.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“How are your step-siblings treating you? Is everybody getting along?” He asked.

I thought about telling the truth, but the lie slipped off of my tongue so easy. It was like I was used to covering up for people who hurt me starting with my own mama. “Everything is fine daddy, why you ask me that?”

He pulled in the parking lot and backed into the space. “Well because, I know that Clint somewhat has a mean streak and gets out of hands sometime. I call every day to make sure he’s taking that medicine properly.”

My heart dropped. “What medicine?” I asked.

“Clint suffers from a bipolar disorder, he’s gotten much better over the years though.” He confirmed my suspicions. I knew something was wrong with Clint; however, I didn’t want to involve my daddy into any troubles concerning me.

“No, everything is just fine.” I replied.

He looked me in my eyes. “Well good, and if you ever feel uncomfortable then you let me know. I don’t ever want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“I got you daddy. I’m okay.” I gave him a phony smile.

“Good.” He said. “Now let’s go in here and eat some crabs.”

I enjoyed the dinner I shared with my daddy, he was much different than my mama.

I’m not even sure how those two even ended up together.

It was like mixing oil with vinegar. She was mean as hell, he was humble and sweet; any woman would’ve been lucky to have a decent man.

When we arrived back at the house, he let me out and said he’d be back in a little while.

He was going to sit with his wife for a little bit.

At first, I almost asked him if I could ride, but I didn’t want to alarm him, so instead of hesitating, I got out. “I’ll see you a later on and tell her I send my love. I’m praying for her.”

“Thanks baby girl.” He smiled before pulling off.

I walked inside and tossed my books on Brittany’s bed since she wasn’t coming back anyway until another two days.

I walked into the kitchen to put the leftover food in the fridge and grabbed a knife on the way out.

I don’t know why I did, I just did. Just in case Clint wanted to try me again.

This time I was going to fight back with everything in me.

I was no longer going to let him take advantage of me.

I placed the knife up under my pillow and went to shower.

When I was finished, I sat on the bed and laid flat on my back to watch TV.

I thought about the dude named Kidd from the library and wondered what side of town he was from.

A part of me wanted to call him; I needed to boost my social life a little more and maybe I wouldn’t be stuck in the house all the time.

I then thought about the projects, I knew they were turned up on that side, especially since it was the weekend.

After some time, I cuddled up on my pillow and slid one hand underneath it before dozing off.

In the middle of the night, I heard the door cracking open and since I was a light sleeper, I opened my eyes to find Clint walking in holding a bottle of Grey Goose in his hands as he drank straight from the bottle.

He walked over to me and stood directly over me.

“Who the fuck was that nigga you were with at the library?” He slurred.

I gripped the bottom of the knife and as my heartbeat fast as hell, not tonight… he wasn’t taking advantage of me again. I sat up with fear in my eyes, I know he saw it. “I don’t know him.” I said being honest. “He was talking to me about a book.” I said.

He took a swig of the drink and belched loudly. “That pussy is mine and if you try to give it away, I’ll kill your hoe ass.” He threatened.

I couldn’t believe this shit. It was like in his mind he really thought he owned me. I would do anything to defuse the situation though. “I’m sorry Clint, it won’t happen again.” I said lowering my eyes.

He jacked me up by my gown. “You damn right it won’t happen again!

I’mma be digging in this pussy every night from now on to make sure of that!

” He let go and pushed me back with one hand since he was still holding the bottle.

He used one hand to unbuckle his pants as the nightlight bounced off of his hazel eyes.

I closed my eyes and prayed, when I felt him lean down to apply the pressure of his body on top of mine, without looking, I took the knife and plunged it into his abdomen.

“Not tonight! Not ever! Leave me alone!” I began to yell not knowing what came over me as the tears poured from my eyes.

I opened my eyes to see Clint rolled over holding his stomach as the bottle dropped from his hand causing the liquor to splatter all over the floor.

I hopped up looking at the blood on my hands and began to shake uncontrollably. I was freaking out watching Clint gasping for air. I wanted to help him, but I was stuck. I couldn’t move. What the fuck had I done? I was too young to go to jail.

“Clint!” I called his name, and he didn’t respond. “Clint! Clint! Clint! Clint!” I kept chanting his name as my body crumpled to the floor. I dropped the knife next to me and cried. I didn’t know whether he was dead or alive; I couldn’t look.

I reached up snatching the cordless phone from the base and hit the talk button to reach my daddy. “Hello?” I said with a shaking voice when I realized somebody was already on the line.

“Hello.” The lady said. “I’m looking for Kenneth, this is nurse Kimberly at the hospital and it’s urgent that I reach him.” She said.

I tried to hide the fact that I was crying and had my own shit going on over here. “He’s supposed to be there right now.” I said.

“Yes, of course, he left about thirty minutes ago and I can’t seem to get him on the cell phone. If he arrives there, please tell him it’s urgent that he comes right back. His wife is unresponsive and we’re not sure if she’ll make it through the night.” She said.

I hung up without saying anything else as my heart dropped. I crawled over to Clint only to find him not breathing and without a pulse. “Noooo!” I cried. What had I done? I didn’t want to kill him, I just wanted him to leave me alone.

I drowned in tears not knowing what to do next. I sat there and cried wishing that somebody would come and save me. I was so wrapped up in my tears that I didn’t even hear my daddy come in the house. I didn’t know he was there until he was standing right next to me.

“What the hell?” The shock in his voice was undeniable.

I hopped up. “Daddy!” I wrapped my arms around his neck and broke down. “Daddy….Clint, he tried to rape me again daddy, I swear!”

“Shhhh.” He pulled me close and consoled me.

“Calm down Precious, calm down. I’ll handle this.

” He sat me down looking into my eyes. I looked at him only to find that his eyes were as glossy as mine.

He looked like he’d given up on life; like he’d lost his best friend.

That’s when I knew the hospital must’ve contacted him on his cell phone.

He looked spaced out, like he wasn’t even there.

He grabbed me by my shoulders looking from my face to the knife.

“Listen to what I say Precious, you go wipe up and clean yourself up. When you’re finished tie that gown up in a bag and take it with you. ”

“Take it with me daddy? Where am I going?” I asked nervously as I stuffed it in my bag. What was he saying? He didn’t look or sound like himself, he was too calm for me. “Daddy, I’ve got to call the police, and you have to get to the hospital.”

He shook his head. “No hospital Precious, she’s already gone.” A tear escaped from his eye. “I knew she was leaving me before I left that hospital. Go and clean up, hurry.” He said again.

I hopped up and scuffled to the bathroom doing what I was told. Next, I ran in the kitchen to grab a bag and dropped the bloody gown in there. The entire time, I couldn’t stop the tears, and I couldn’t get the vision of Clint’s body out of my mind.

“Now what daddy?” I asked as he sat on the bed staring at Clint’s lifeless body. He pointed to a small suitcase on the floor.

“I threw as much as stuff as I could in there for you. I want you to go Precious, just go and live you a good life. Don’t come back to this house, I’ll take care of this.” He said standing up using his shirt to wipe my prints from the knife and replaced it with his own prints.

“Daddy?” I panicked, “What are you doing?”

He looked at me with a blank face. “Just go Kisha, I’m doing what any father would do. Now go, I promise I’ll be okay. I’m going to cover for you. I did this.”

I shook my head violently. “Daddy! I can’t let you do that!” I cried as my body shook.

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek.

“You go live good life Kisha, you’ve been through too much and you deserve it.

” I watched him pull his cell phone from his pocket and dial 911.

“Yes, operator, this is an emergency.” He said calmly.

“I just killed my stepson.” When he hung up, he looked at me one more time passing by me.

I followed him to his room with my bag in hand watching him pull a wad of money from a small safe that sat in the corner of his closet.

“You take this.” He placed it in my hands.

“Dad….don’t do this.” I pleaded again.

“The police are on the way, you hurry up and get out of here. Go back to that group home if you have to. When you get out, make sure you live a good life Precious.” He wiped another tear.

I could hear the sirens in distance, that was my cue to leave although I didn’t want to. I reluctantly made my way to the door looking in his face again. “I love you.” I told him.