Page 13 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love

I was so caught up on seeing Meek that I got careless with how I interacted with him knowing that Kidd was probably somewhere around watching.

I was standing by the restroom waiting for him to come from upstairs when I ran into Meek.

Kidd never came back to get me. Instead, he texted me telling me to meet him at the car; I sucked my teeth and fought through the crowd trying to exit the building.

On the way, I was stop by a tall yellow skin girl that looked like the singer ‘Ciara’ “Are you Kisha?” She asked me.

“Who wants to know?” I asked.

She swung her long gold weave to the back and sucked her teeth. “Girl, don’t act like it’s all that because if it was, your man wouldn’t of been upstairs in the maintenance closet fucking me.” She chuckled walking off.

I was at a loss for words, but I wasn’t too shocked because Kidd wasn’t the same person I met; he was different.

He was a cheater, and he was possessive.

He wanted to control me and although he did his own thing in the streets, he was obsessed over me, and I didn’t like it.

I felt the vomit come up to my throat; I pushed it back down.

I didn’t know if it was because of what the girl had just said, or from the baby in my stomach.

I found out that I was six weeks along and I was happy.

It didn’t matter what kind of person Kidd was, a baby of my own would fill so many voids and emptiness in my life.

I got to the car and decided not to say anything to him about what was brought to my attention since he was going to lie anyway.

For some reason he drove all the way home pissed when I should’ve been the one pissed.

I guess everything in life definitely had its pros and cons.

I was no longer living in my past hell, this was a new one.

Every day I learned more about Kidd; just like I found out that he snorted from time to time.

More so lately than before he’d go missing leaving me in the house for days until he felt like coming back.

Another dead giveaway was the nights when he came home with a white substance on his nose.

I was dealing with a lot right now, but this was the price I had to pay if I didn’t want to live on the streets.

We made it home in less than thirty minutes and he was pretty quiet, so I left him alone and went to shower.

When I came back out there was no sign of Kidd, he was gone.

I shook my head to myself and went to lie down; I was getting used to this by now, so instead of getting angry, I snuggled up under my silk sheets and thought a lot about my daddy.

I found myself blaming me coming into his home as his death.

If I’d never went to live with them, Clint wouldn’t have been able to rape me, and my daddy would still be alive.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and that’s when I decided to call Kidd.

Of course he didn’t answer. I took a deep breath and fixed myself a bowl of cereal before getting dressed to head to my doctor’s appointment.

I wish I had some kind of home girl to tag along with me, but Mya never called me when she left the group home, and I had no way of reaching her.

The number that I did have was disconnected.

I grabbed my purse and went to the key holder to grab the key for the Benz I normally drove only to find that it was gone. Damn!

I picked up and called Kidd again. “What Kisha?” He answered.

“Kidd. Did you take the spare key? I’m trying to get to the doctor in enough time for my appointment.”

“Who the fuck was that nigga all up in your face at the pack jam last night?” He questioned. The way he was talking, I could tell he was high and had probably been snorting all night.

I thought back to what nigga he was talking about and the only person I could think of was ‘Meek’ I had to lie to keep him from going over edge. “That was my cousin, you could’ve asked me this last night Kidd. That’s the reason you left last night?”

“Reschedule your appointment. I won’t be back tonight.” He said hanging up.

I called right back. “This is an important visit Kidd. I don’t get it, this is your child as well and you should care about the well-being.”

“I care about my child, and I care about you, but I don’t trust you. You’re way too pretty and if you think I believe you turning every nigga down you better think again.” He hung up again.

I was convinced Kidd was truly crazy. I was stuck in the house for the next two days with no money and no car to get around which was more of a reason I had to find a way to leave him and get out there on my own.

This was cool in the beginning when he was nice to me, but now, he was someone different.

I moped around and was forced to drink milk and eat Ritz crackers since that’s all we had and needed to go grocery shopping.

On the second night, I lay there sleeping and was awakened by Kidd walking in the room making all kind of noise to purposely wake me up.

He flicked the bright light on and walked toward me with white residue on the tip of his nose.

Someone that was so fine on the outside was so jealous on the inside.

He put his keys on the dresser and took his jacket off. His pupils were fully dilated and scared the shit out of me. “Where have you been Kidd?” I asked.

Instead of answering me, he forced himself on top of me planting sloppy kisses all over my mouth and face. I tried to push him off I was so mad at him, who the fuck did he think he was? “Move Kidd! You’re hurting me,” I whined.

He ignored me and used both of his hands to pin my arms above my head and forced his lower body in between my legs while grunting.

“Give me this pussy Kish! Give it to me baby.” He used one hand to whip his hard dick out and since I didn’t have on any panties, it wasn’t hard for him to plunge it into my dry pussy walls.

“Ouuchhhhh!” I yelled in agony using my free hand pushing and punching his body. “Get off of me Kidd!” I cried. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach as he rammed harder and harder. He was like an animal making sounds that scared the shit out of me.

“Ahhhhh fuckkk!” He yelled. “Yeah baby! Yeah baby! Here it comes!” He vibrated on top of me shooting his semen inside of my walls.

“I hate you! I hate you!” I cried. “Get the fuck off of me!” I accidentally slapped him.

He looked like a killer when he looked down at me. He put one hand around my neck and slung me across the floor. The only thing I could try to do was protect my body, however, when I looked down in between my legs, I was bleeding.

“The baby Kidd!” I cried.

He stood up looking like he was sober all of a sudden; the look in his eyes was hurt and sympathy.

With his dick still hanging out, he rushed to my side and grabbed my face with tears in his eyes.

“Kish! I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean this shit.

” He said with tears in his eyes. I doubled over in pain, barely able to move it hurt so badly.

“I’mma get you some help baby girl. I’mma get you some help right now.

” He said sticking his dick back in his pants and buckling up.

He picked me up like he was cradling a newborn baby and rushed me out to the car.

We arrived at the hospital with him apologizing the entire way.

I was in so much pain that I didn’t have time to listen to him at all.

The doctors at the hospital did all they could but it was too late; I was sent home to have a natural miscarriage since it was happening anyway.

There was nothing they could do. I was released and two days later a blood clot passed while I was on the toilet. The pain was finally over.

Kidd stayed around the entire time being extra nice to me. He even cried when the clot passed. “My baby.” He sniffed. “I’m so sorry Kisha, I’m sorry baby.”

I sat on the edge of the bed feeling myself slipping into a deep depression. “It’s the drugs Kidd.” I sniffed. “You’ve gotta stop.”

He kneeled down and placed his head on my stomach. “I’mma get help baby, I promise. I swear I am.”

I wanted to believe him, I really did. That night I went to sleep after taking my antibiotics and painkillers only to wake up a few hours later to a room full of flowers, bears, and ‘I’m Sorry’ balloons. Kidd sat on the edge of the bed staring at me. I sat up and adjusted my eyes to look at him.

“I’m sorry baby.” He apologized again. “I mean it from the bottom of my heart.”

I put my head back on the pillow and cried. “Okay Kidd.” That was my only reply, I had nothing more to say.

I slipped into a deep depression over the next couple of weeks.

I didn’t eat, I barely talked to Kidd no matter how nice he tried to be, and I detached from the outside world.

One day while Kidd was gone, I found a stash of coke and tried it.

I dug my pinkie into it and used my fingernail to sniff it into my nose.

I never thought I’d be doing this, but I needed something to cope with the pain.

The first time was like something I’d never felt before.

The high it took me on made me forget about all of my worries.

The second time was even better and then I found myself craving for it while still managing to hide it from Kidd since he was barely around.

He couldn’t even cope with what he’d done, that’s why he didn’t want to be around me as much.

I was home alone again sitting on the living room couch watching ‘Power’ with the white substance in front of me.

This time I rolled up a dollar bill for easier access to my high.

I bent down and sniffed hard once, then waited a few seconds to sniff more.

The higher I was, the more I wanted it and before I knew it, I was running around the house barking like a dog and flapping my arms like a chicken.

I was paranoid and feeling like somebody was after me with a burst of energy.

After about 30 minutes I wore myself out, I was slumped over and floating.

I saw visions of my mama’s face. I was becoming the exact same person that I hated so much.