Page 6 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love

I laid balled up in the bed in a fetal position as I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

I was home alone once again and was the victim to Clint’s abuse.

This was the third time and each time got worse.

I don’t know why I protected him as long as I did, but I was long overdue to tell somebody or do something about it.

I was fucked up, mentally fucked up and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Brittany and Trent were away for the weekend visiting their aunt in Fort Myers and Clint decided to stay behind for this very reason.

I finally stood up and locked the bedroom door.

Since my skin was so light, the bruises in between my legs were very visible.

I couldn’t understand how a boy so fine could be so cruel.

He had a girlfriend; I don’t know why he chose to fuck with me.

I looked in the mirror at the blood sucking hickey he put on my neck while he had his way with me.

That was his way of stopping himself from yelling out in pleasure when he was getting ready to nut.

He would suck the shit out of my neck instead and it hurt so badly.

I grabbed me a fresh pair of underclothes and went to shower washing all of his scent from my body before making my way to the local library to finish a project for school.

I had to throw on a pair of jeans and boots since it was cold outside.

I pulled my hair up in a bun, threw on a big jacket, and tied a scarf around my neck.

I held my books in my hand and made my way as the crisp wind smacked my face with every step.

Mrs. Russell, the librarian, was there and she was always nice whenever I came there to work.

She was mocha chocolate with a short round body and big, beautiful eyes.

However, the looks could fool you because she definitely didn’t play the radio.

“How’s Ken?” She looked up from behind the desk asking me of my daddy.

Since I never really saw much of him, there really wasn’t much to say. “He’s fine.” I smiled. “He’s working hard as usual.”

She smiled back. “That’s good. I know he sure is glad to finally have you from that evil woman.” She shook her head. “Big Angie has always been something else.”

I nodded my head and took a seat to remove my scarf and my jacket before digging into the books. Besides, I didn’t want to talk about my mama anyway. I stayed at the library for a good amount of time. I was so engrossed in the books that I didn’t even notice somebody standing over me.

“What you studying?” The voice behind me asked.

I looked up from my book and into the eyes of a handsome fella.

He was tall, very tall. His dark brown skin glistened as the soft light of the library bounced off on his face.

His baldhead fit him perfectly and his mouth full of gold teeth flashed before my eyes.

One look at him and I could tell he was in the streets.

I didn’t know much about name brands, but the shit he wore looked expensive.

My God, even his iced-out chain hung to the middle of his stomach.

I looked back down into my books because I really wasn’t up for conversation, but I told him anyway. “I have a project in my French class.” I mumbled.

“Well damn.” He said. “You’re not gonna look at me when I’m talking to you? That’s rude as hell.”

I guess he was kind of right, I was being rude by doing that. I pulled away from the book again. “I’m sorry, you’re right, that was rude.”

“What’s your name?” He asked smiling again.

I put my pen down in between my book pages and extended my hand to shake his. “My name is Kisha, but a lot of people just call me Kish.” I introduced myself.

He took my hand and gently shook it back. “Well Kish, my name is Kidd.” He said. “And if it’s not too much to ask, I’d like to give you, my number. If you ain’t gonna use it, then don’t even play with me, but I would definitely love for you to.”

I looked into his eyes wondering what my next move should be; I knew firsthand how niggas could act when they got rejected. “How old are you?” I asked.

“How old do I look?” He asked.

I took another good look at him. “About twenty-two?”

He chuckled. “Nah baby, but close, I’m twenty-one.” He replied, answering my question with no problem. “How old are you?”

I thought he probably should’ve asked me that before he even asked for my number, but I kept my thoughts to myself. “I’m seventeen.” I said.

“That’s not bad at all. Put my number in your phone.” He said.

“I don’t have one.” I lied. “But you can scribble it down for me and I’ll call you.” I said ripping a piece of paper from my composition book passing it to him along with a pen.

He scribbled his number down and looked at me; he was smiling again but I wasn’t, I was distracted by the chiming of the door, which let me know that someone was entering the building.

Clint entered with his arm wrapped around a cute little bright skin that wasn’t his girlfriend.

The look on his face when he saw me sitting there talking to Kidd almost scared me; Kidd followed my eyes to Clint.

“You know him?” He asked. “Cause the nigga looking like he got a problem.” He said.

I frowned and looked away from him as he went on his way and focused back on Kidd. I shook my head. “No, I don’t know him.” I lied.

“Oh, aiight.” He replied. “Well look, I’m about to bounce so give me a call Kish.” He said holding up his hand that held the book he was about to check out. “You see this shit.” He said. “Now this is knowledge.”

I shifted my eyes to read the title ‘The Law of Attraction’ is what it read.

“Check me out later Kish. I’m out.” He back peddled to the desk to check out. I watched him have a brief interaction with Mrs. Russell before he disappeared out the door. When he was gone, she made her way on over to me and spoke her mind.

“Kisha, I know it’s none of my business, but it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t address this. You see that young man that just left from out of here? Those are the ones you need to stay away from.” She warned.

I focused on my book and formed a slight smile. “It’s okay Mrs. Russell. I don’t really plan on talking to him, I just wanted to get rid of him and get back to my book.”

She adjusted her wool sweater and then checked the time on her watch. “Okay, well I’m just making sure.” She said. “The library is closing in a little while so try to finish your study.”

“I’m aware Mrs. Russell. I’m almost finished.” I replied. Truthfully, if she left me alone as well, then I could finish quicker.

“And another thing,” she said, “don’t allow these young boys to mess up your skin sucking on your neck. Not everyone needs to know your business, and also there’s a free clinic down the street that’ll also provide you with contraceptives and stuff like that.”

I felt myself starting to sweat watching Clint walk out the door and listening to Mrs. Russell all at once. She really thought that I was just freely out here having sex, but I couldn’t blame her. The image wasn’t a good one. I wrapped my scarf around my neck.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I told her.

She walked away humming a tune of a song I knew all too well ‘If this world were mine’.

I absolutely loved that song. After another thirty minutes, I was wrapping it up and grabbing my books after I put my coat back on.

I said goodbye to Mrs. Russell and walked out back into the cold.

It was even colder when I walked out this time.

I beat the pavement up with my boots and held my books close to my chest. I was getting ready to cross the street when I heard someone honking at me from behind.

I was surprised to see my daddy sitting there at the stop sign waiting for me.

His white Expedition awaited me, and I was happy to see him.

I turned around making sure that the scarf hid my neck.

I would hate for my daddy to see that hickey; that’s what I called it instead of a passion mark.

There was nothing passionate about anything that Clint did.

He reached over and pushed the door open for me. “Hey daddy.” I spoke to him as soon as I hopped in closing and locking the door before actually facing him.

“Hey precious.” He smiled showing his perfect teeth. He still had on his hospital scrubs. I could see the sadness in his eyes; he worked so much I knew he had to be exhausted. “I’m glad I caught you coming out of the library, I was just heading home to pick you up and go to dinner.” He said.

I nodded my head; it wasn’t as awkward being around him as I thought it would be. “I’m glad you picked me up too, cause it’s so cold.” I complained.

He let out a hearty laugh. “You Miamians are spoiled, get a little bit of cold and don’t know how to act.” It was good to see him laugh.

I frowned. “Miamians? Daddy is that even a word?” I asked.

“Google it.” He replied. I sat back and laughed too.

“So, where you want to eat at Precious? You have all of my time before I head back to work.” He said.

I secretly wished he didn’t have to go back. I didn’t want to deal with Clint tonight; I hated being alone with him. “Let’s go to Red Lobster.” I suggested. I was a sucker for those biscuits, and I hadn’t had one in years. As a matter of fact, I hadn’t been there since I was about eight years old.

“You want to go to Red Lobster out of all places?” He asked.

“I was thinking that I was about to spend some serious money at one of those famous restaurants. I’m glad I have a humble daughter.” He said.

If he didn’t know I was humble, he really didn’t know me at all which was an indication that he needed to be around me more. “Daddy, I came from nothing, everything that I have right now is like gold compared to where I came from.”

He focused on the road, but he was listening. “I’m sorry about that Precious. I should’ve been there and there’s no excuse. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would. I’m going to try to do much better.”