Page 18 of Meek: Chasing That Gangsta Love

“ B itch! I can’t believe I’m standing here looking at you!” Mya squealed. “I thought I would never see you again!” She said as we stood at the front door embracing each other.

I pulled back and grabbed her arm. “Girl, get your butt in here out the cold.” I said smiling while closing the door. “How have you been Mya? Like how have you really been? You never called me.” I said.

She took a seat on the couch wearing a pair of Tru Religion jeans and a matching shirt with a big white bomber jacket. Her hair was styled in a bob cut and she wore a pair of boots. “I’ve been okay Kisha.” She smiled. “Look at you girl, you look good!”

One look in her eyes and I knew she wasn’t as good as she made it seem. “Un unt bitch don’t give me that.” I said pointing. “I know you.”

“Whattt?” She giggled and then she was looking sad.

“It’s been hard Kisha.” She said as her eyes watered.

“It’s been real hard.” She wiped her eyes.

“It’s fucked up how when adults bring children into this world, they don’t think about the consequences of what may actually happen to that child for their bad decision making. ”

Shit, now she was making me cry. “That’s so true.” I shook my head agreeing.

She looked up at me. “Now look how I’ve got you crying.” She said giggling and wiping more tears. “Shucks this is supposed to be a happy moment.”

I grabbed her hand into mine. “It is a happy moment.” I said. I was all prepared to tell her about my addiction problems that I was going through but seeing how distraught she was with her own life; I decided against it.

“Look, let’s just go have our lunch and do some catching up. I’m so glad to have you back I don’t know what to do, and Meek? He’s an angel, Kisha, you should keep him and never let go.”

I thought about what she said but I already knew that. I’ve always loved Meek since day one and the shit wouldn’t go anywhere. “Come on.” I said. “Let me get my shoes and purse. You wanna do cheesecake?” I asked.

“Yeah girl, we can do that. Sounds good.” She said.

I rushed off to grab a pair of UGG boots and a sweater. “What you driving?” I asked her.

“Girl I’m pushing a cute lil ride.” She opened the front door showing me the CLS parked out front.

“Oh.” I sat placing my hand on my chest batting my eyes. “I’m flattered.”

Mya laughed. “Cut it out girl.”

“So, is this your car?” I asked sitting down in the front seat buckling up.

She backed out from the driveway. “No, this isn’t my car; it actually belongs to a guy I’m dealing with. He always buys wrecked cars and sales them after he fixes them up. From time to time, he’ll have a ride just sitting waiting for someone to buy it and I’ll just drive it in the meantime.”

“That’s nice of him.” I said taking in the view. It was nice out here on the upper eastside. “But how does he treat you?” I asked.

“Well, it’s only been a few weeks but so far so good. He’s treating me better than anyone else has treated me. Any man that’s not beating my ass is a plus.”

I thought back to my own fucked up shit that I had going on with Kidd and frowned.

Right on cue like she was reading my mind, she asked about him. “So, where’s Kidd? How did you end up with Meek?” She asked.

“Kidd is doing whatever it is that he does.” I told her, not wanting to snitch Meek out. “But we’ll catch up on everything as soon as we sit down to eat.”

Lunch with Mya was good, it was refreshing, and we were able to catch up like old times while we filled each other in. When lunch was finished we went back to the hood where it all started and sat at the park. “Let’s walk Kisha, you want to walk?” She asked.

“Walk where?” I frowned; it was way too cold to be walking for me.

She laughed. “Around the block girl, through the hood. I know you aren’t scared?

We might run into some people we haven’t seen in years, you never know.

I’ll never act boogie with the hood. The hood didn’t do fucked up shit to us, it was the fucked up adults who were raised in the hood with a fucked up mentality who did it. ” She said.

I hopped down from the bench and pulled out my phone to call Meek. “Hey Meek. Everything okay with Reesie?”

“What up Kish, it’s not looking good baby. Where you at?” He asked. “I called you like five times.” He said. It was true, he called me damn there every thirty minutes, but I hadn’t answered because I knew he was calling because he didn’t trust me to be alone and not being watched by him.

I laughed. “I was eating Meek, I told you, I’m fine.”

“I have a confession, Kisha.” He said.

“What’s that?”

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve been missing you ever since I left the house.

This shit is crazy. I’m supposed to be handling business for Reesie, which I am, but in the process, all I can think about is Kisha.

I’m glad to have you back. I know I should’ve told you a few years ago, but I love you…

. like, I really, really love you Kish, and I don’t think you understand.

” He said in the most-sincerest voice I’d ever heard him use.

I don’t know if my heart skipped a beat or completely stopped for a second; all I knew was, no matter how I felt, Meek and I were genuinely friends and as long as Reesie was around, I’d never disrespect her.

I was trying my hardest to be a better woman than the few I had been around growing up, but it was hard.

I went into panic mode, what if Reesie got a whiff of this or even thought something was going on?

Would I be out on the streets again? This was too much for me right now.

“Meek, I love you too and you know that. Can we talk about this when I get to the house?” I asked.

“Call me and let me know when you’re on your way Kish. Shit is crazy out there, be careful.” He said.

I hung up and looked back at Mya who was already down the block standing on the corner waiting for me. It was crazy how we grew up two blocks away from each other and never met until the group home.

“Mya! Hold up!” I said jogging to the corner.

“You took long enough.” She said as we crossed the street heading over to the main street.

“I had to check in with Meek.” I said.

She smiled. “Ohhhh zaddy huh? I understand.”

“Mya shut up.” I giggled. I forgot how she was able to keep me laughing all damn day.

When we got in front of the corner store, she wanted to go in, but I didn’t.

Truth be told, I was worried about my situation all over again and thinking back to what Meek had just said to me.

I couldn’t afford to be beefing with his girl about him or getting kicked out.

I had a plan to enroll in college and find me a part time job.

In the meantime, I needed to get by with no drama.

“Why you looked worried all of a sudden?” She asked.

I fixed my face quick but little did she know, I was anxious and felt the urge of needing to relax. “I’m fine Mya…you go ahead, I’ll wait right here.”

She looked back inside the store again. “What the fuck they giving away in there? Look at the line.” She frowned.

“Lottery tonight, they trying to win that money.” I told her.

“Ughhh.” She said. “I have to get my snicker and pork skins while I’m here. I can’t get those pork skins anywhere else. I’ll be back.” She said.

I leaned up against the wall and waited since I knew it would be awhile.

I glanced up just in time to see a man wearing a dingy brown coat running into the abandoned house next door.

I knew what was probably over there, but curiosity led me there just to see.

I walked over knowing that Mya was going to be a minute.

The front door was boarded but the back wasn’t and that’s where the guy went in.

I stepped inside of the dark house and was greeted by dope fiends and coke heads all over the place, literally. Taking my time, I stepped over plenty of bodies. “What you doing in here young beauty?” I followed the raspy voice as the man grabbed my arm with his dirty fingers.

I snatched back from him. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

He looked up with his yellow teeth and smiled at me before putting a pipe in his mouth.

I thought this shit was sad, really sad.

I walked more into the living room where I found more people either shooting up or having some crackhead sex.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a man on his back with his pants down.

The woman on top of him was butt ass naked and skinny so much so that I could see her bones popping from her back as she rode his dick like they were in a room alone.

I grabbed my stomach; this shit was nasty as hell.

Turning on my heels, I was all prepared to leave until I saw the small pile of coke on the table unattended.

Shit! I began to sweat as my mouth watered.

Thinking about the high it would give me had me weak.

I felt weak on my stomach and my legs as I stared at it.

I saw Meek’s face and felt the disappointment in my heart.

You can fight this, Kisha! You can fight this!

This isn’t who you’re supposed to be! I said to myself.

It looked good; too good and it was tempting.

I balled up my fist and closed my eyes taking slow and steady breaths.

When I opened my eyes, it wasn’t because I wanted to, it was because someone was calling my name.

A very familiar female voice, I turned around and was looking in my mama’s face as she sat there against the wall with a dirty tank top on wearing panties on her ass only.

Her feet were bare, and her hair was wild.

She looked at least a hundred pounds lighter. She was almost the same size as me.

She was sweating like a slave. “I knew you would end up in here one day Kisha.” She slurred. I could tell she was coming down off of her high. “Like mother like daughter huh? Do it Kisha, you want to get high? Do it.” Her head bobbed back and forth. “You always did think you were better.”

I shook my head as my lips trembled. “I was never like you.”

She smiled showing that she was missing one of her front teeth now. I couldn’t believe she’d gotten this bad. “That’s right, look at me disgusted and remember why you shouldn’t be here. Get the fuck out of here Kisha…get the fuck out and don’t look back.” She slurred.

I couldn’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes. I was looking at her, but I saw my face on her body for a few seconds. Backing up I stared at her the whole time as she lightly chuckled.

“Get out Kisha! Mama loves you.” Her voice turned into a whisper. “I sho’ll do love you.” She wiped her own tear. That was it for me. I dashed up out of there and hauled ass full speed with tears running down my face.

“Kisha!” Mya ran after me as I ran right past her while she walked out the store. I was running, but I heard her right on my trail. When I got to the car, I hopped in and slammed the door putting my face in my hands as I sobbed.

“Kisha! What’s wrong?” Mya asked hysterical and out of breath.

“Just get me home Mya….take me home.” I sobbed.

She looked worried as she drove me all the way back to the house.

The only sounds were my sobbing and her sniffing.

I didn’t even know what she was crying for.

We made it to the house, and I dashed into the room throwing myself over the bed letting it all out.

It was time to let it go. It was time to cry like I never cried before.

Eighteen years’ worth of build-up and I made a promise to myself right then and there that I would never look at that shit or put it up in my nose ever again. It was time to lead my own path.

Mya sat there and allowed me to get everything out without asking questions. I cried myself to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night with Mya sitting in the chair balled up in a throw blanket.

“Mya.” I whispered.

She opened her sleepy eyes. “What happened? Is everything okay?” She asked alert.

I smiled at my friend. “Is Meek here?” I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and whispered back. “I’m not sure, why?”

I exhaled a sigh of relief. “Good, don’t tell him about this.” I told her.

“About what Kisha? I’m not even sure what happened.” She looked at me crazy.

I’d just thought about something. “Why are we whispering?” I frowned.

She whispered back. “I don’t know.”

We exchanged looks with each other and had a good laugh before dozing back off; this time Mya got in the bed to get more comfortable and I was happy she was there.