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CHAPTER FIVE

HADLEY

T rying to get solid sleep with a baby waking up every few hours is literally a goddamn pipe dream.

And it’s only been one night.

“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave?”

I stare up at Rowan from where I’m sitting on the couch, my mind lagging from the lack of sleep as I take a few extra seconds to formulate a response. “Yeah, of course,” I tell him, waving my hand dismissively before taking a sip of my coffee that’s already grown lukewarm. “I’ve totally got this.”

“We have our morning skate and then I’ll be back for a few hours after that.”

“Rowan, I need you to go about your day without worrying about Lucy and me,” I tell him, attempting to sound stern, but all I sound is exhausted. “Go about your day as if the two of us aren’t here.”

He stares at me, his expression blank. “That’s a little hard to do. ”

A sigh escapes me, my lungs deflating with it. “Yeah, that makes sense,” I agree, shrugging with indifference. “I’m going to call my friend about the paternity test and hopefully we can get that sorted.” I pause, glancing down at his clothes that I’m still wearing. “Am I able to use your shower then? I’m starting to feel a little crusty and was too tired to wash the day off before falling asleep.”

“I am such an asshole,” he sighs, closing his eyes as he drags a tired hand down his face. “Yes. Please, make yourself at home. Use whatever you need, eat whatever you want.” He pauses, his eyes scanning the length of my body before he meets my face once more. “Did you want to run home and get clothes or something?”

I chew on the inside of my lip for a moment, glancing down at the baby and then at the clock before finally shaking my head at him. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to call my friend about the paternity test and see if he can bring me some clothes.”

Rowan is silent for a moment and I can’t read his expression at all. It’s completely justified, all things considered, I just don’t know what I’m supposed to say or do.

“Call me if you need anything?”

I dip my chin, reaching for the baby as she starts to move around in the bassinet. Her little mouth opens wide, a soft cry coming from her as I begin to lift her into my arms. Rowan stays for a moment, his gaze studying my face before he finally moves.

The way he looks at me makes my heart skip a beat, but I quickly shove the feeling away. If there’s one person I cannot get involved with, it’s him.

Rowan Taylor is known to never get involved with anyone, and I have plans. Plans to travel, plans to see the world, and a career I worked my ass off for.

Holding Lucy against my chest, I murmur softly to her, my body turning as I watch Rowan disappear into the kitchen before exiting through the back door.

It doesn’t take me long to change Lucy’s diaper before I settle back down on the couch with her again to give her a bottle. As she lays in my arms sucking down formula, I pull out my phone using my free hand, immediately going to my text thread with Cole, and open it up.

Hadley

Call me when you can, I need your help with something.

He immediately calls me. I’m not surprised since he just got off work a few hours ago. Night shift is weird like that and I’m like Cole—it’s hard to adjust bouncing back and forth between night shift and day shift.

“Hello?”

“Hey. What happened to you last night?” Cole questions me, not missing a beat. “Is everything okay?”

I’m silent for a moment. “I need your help, but I need you to promise me you won’t ask any questions. I can’t tell you what is going on right now, but I promise I will as soon as I can.”

Now Cole is silent. “What the fuck is going on, Hadley? ”

“Can you help me or not?”

He mutters something under his breath that sounds like a string of curses before his voice is clear. “Yes, of course.” He pauses for a second. “Unless it involves digging a hole. I am not cut out for that shit.”

I snort, my cheeks puffing out as I try to hold back my laugh. It’s impossible and my entire face cracks as laughter spills from me. Tears spring to my eyes and I hastily wipe them away, refusing to let the exhaustion make me emotional. “Thank you for that. I needed that.”

“What do you need from me?”

There is an endless list of things I need from him. For starters, my car would be helpful, but I already know I’m going to be asking more from him than I should. Not only am I involving Cole in this mess, but his boyfriend is undoubtedly going to be a key piece in this plan.

“I’m going to send you an address. Can Damien get a paternity test and run it without anyone knowing?”

Cole is quiet again. “What the hell kind of mess did you get yourself into, Hadley?” He lets out a breath. “Send me the address and let me talk to Damien. He’s not going to be happy with me.”

Honestly, I’m shocked that it didn’t take more to get him on board. This is a huge risk for everyone involved right now and I wouldn’t blame him if he told me no.

“I love you and I owe you.”

“Hell yeah, you do.” He snorts, a chuckle coming from him. “Do you need anything else? A human sacrifice? The head of a goat? ”

I giggle, shaking my head as I pop the bottle from Lucy’s mouth and hold her up to burp her. “You’re two steps ahead of me.”

“See you in a little bit,” Cole says before ending the call.

I don’t know how I’m going to repay him and Damien for helping me, but it’s definitely going to have to be something big. Something grand. I have no one else close to me, no one else I can ask for help, yet Cole is ready to do anything he can, other than bury a body.

Thankfully, it’s not that.

Cole sits in front of me, Damien directly beside him with his arm draped over the back of the couch. They’re both staring at me, neither of them speaking as their gazes travel from Lucy and back to me. I watch them as Cole slowly turns his head to look at his boyfriend, the both of them sharing a knowing look before Damien bobs his head.

Cole looks back at me. “Hadley...we are on board with helping you, but I need a little more information to know what we’re dealing with.”

I hear something in the kitchen and I glance over my shoulder at the room, hearing what sounds like a door shutting, but there’s no other sound. I look back at Cole, my lips parting as I try to figure out where the hell to begin.

“I’m just going to go ahead and ask,” Damien chimes in. “Did you kidnap a baby?” He purses his lip. “ We know she’s not yours and honestly, all of this is really strange.”

“She’s mine.”

My heart stops in my chest at the sound of his voice. I look back, finding Rowan as he walks into the room. His hair is damp, most likely from the shower at the rink, and he’s wearing black sweatpants and a gray hoodie. His dark blue eyes land on me at first before he looks past me to Cole and Damien.

“I found her on my doorstep in the middle of the night and I called Hadley for help.”

Cole’s eyebrows tug together. “And you are . . .?”

“This is Rowan Taylor,” I interject, pushing my way back into the conversation to save Rowan from offering an explanation. That’s a fact I wish I could erase completely. “He’s an old friend and we ran into each other at the hospital a couple months ago.”

“So, is the paternity test to confirm she’s yours?” Damien asks Rowan as Rowan drops down onto the couch beside me.

Rowan doesn’t answer at first as he stares at the baby asleep in my arms. He still hasn’t even held her yet. “Yes.”

Cole looks directly at me, his gaze laser-focused on me. “This is a huge risk, Hadley. I’m not going to let Damien do this for him if he’s just some douchebag.”

“He’s not,” I tell him, shaking my head as I vouch for Rowan. Rowan has never been anything but kind to me. He found me at one of my lowest moments in life and not once did I feel judgment from him. “He’s a good one. ”

The muscle in Cole’s jaw tightens as he looks back at his boyfriend. The two of them have a silent conversation before Damien reaches into his bag, pulling out a test kit. “I need to swab the inside of your cheek and the baby’s. I can have the results by tomorrow afternoon, as long as I can do it in secret.” He pauses, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I won’t be able to have the geneticist confirm, because of the nature of things, but if she’s yours, it will be pretty evident.”

“Okay.”

Rowan doesn’t say anything else and the process is quick as Damien swabs the inside of Rowan’s cheek and then Lucy’s. He excuses himself, walking into the kitchen as I get Lucy settled and walk with Cole and Damien to the front door.

“Are you sure this is going to be accurate?”

Damien jerks his chin and half shrugs. “They’re pretty accurate, but usually we like to get a couple sets of eyes on it to confirm.” He pauses, his lips pursing for a moment. “I’ll do what I can to make sure the results are as conclusive as I can get them.”

“That guy looks fucking lost,” Cole adds, his voice low so Rowan can’t hear him. He pulls me in for a hug, wrapping his arms around my body. “Give him a blow job or something to cheer him up.”

Stifling a laugh, I push away from him, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, right. You go do it.”

“I think not,” Damien quips, wrapping his arm around Cole. “Come on, time to go before you get any ideas.”

Cole laughs as Damien leads him onto the porch and I’m quiet as I close the door behind them. Turning back around, I face the hall, a heaviness on my shoulders as I let out a deep breath. I will not be taking Cole’s advice for cheering Rowan up. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to help him with Lucy and nothing more.

Rowan’s heating something up on the stove as I walk into the kitchen. He glances at me over his shoulder, his eyes resting on me for a moment before he turns back to face the stove. “Are you hungry?”

“Sure,” I tell him, walking deeper into the kitchen before pausing beside him. He looks at me, his tired eyes meeting my gaze before he goes back to cooking. “Since Lucy is sleeping, do you mind if I go get my car and some things from home after we eat?”

His head whips to the side, his eyes wide as he searches mine. “You’re going to come back, right?”

A crack forms in my heart from the fear that engulfs him. “I told you I wasn’t going to leave you alone with this, Rowan.”

His lips part as if he’s going to say something, but he quickly shuts them. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard. “Okay. I’m sorry, I just—I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. One day at a time. Damien will have the results tomorrow and then I think having that concrete information will help you process,” I tell him, attempting to psychoanalyze him, which he definitely didn’t ask for. I pull out my phone, opening up the Uber app before requesting a pickup. I need to get to the hospital to get my car before I can go home.

My attention moves directly back to Rowan after I secure a ride. “Tell me about your game days. Do you have a certain schedule or something? I think it’s probably best if you try to keep life as normal as possible right now.”

Rowan swallows again, jerking his chin. “Um, so we have a morning skate. Usually I shower, come home, and eat something. I go out to my shed for a bit and then take a nap. Carson has a chef that comes over and cooks our pregame meal, so I go there and eat and then head to the arena.”

“Okay, this is good,” I tell him, my head bobbing in a similar fashion. A little too eager, like we’re both trying to convince ourselves everything is completely fine. “You eat while I run and get a few things and then Lucy and I will be out of your hair the rest of the day.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, his eyes searching my face again. “Okay.”

I smile at him, reaching over as I pat him on the shoulder, attempting to offer some type of encouragement. My hand remains longer than it should and I can’t help it. Seeing him like this, the way he’s taking things in stride, it’s honestly attractive as hell.

Knowing my hand is lingering for too long, I move it from his shoulder, my eyes searching his once more before I turn away from him.

“Hey, Had?” he calls out, the sound of his voice penetrating my eardrums as I reach for the front door.

I turn back to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Thank you,” he says softly, appreciation radiating from his expression. “For everything.”

Emotion wells in my throat and I know it’s from the goddamn exhaustion. I smile, swallowing back my feelings as I lower my chin at him. Rowan and I share another lasting stare before I force myself to move through the front door.

I have to keep moving. I have to make sure Lucy and Rowan are both good.

Because if I don’t, who else will?