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CHAPTER ELEVEN

ROWAN

M y gaze is focused on the player who’s heading straight toward me. From the edges of my vision, I see two defensemen both skating backward, each of them moving their sticks in an effort to deter the center from getting any closer. Time slows down and everything moves in slow motion, but in reality, this is all happening within fractions of a second.

There’s less than ten seconds left in the last period and we’re only up by one. I cannot let the puck get past me. I can’t let the other team tie this game up. We started off the season stronger than ever, but we had a little bit of a losing streak a month or so ago which has set us back a bit in points. We started off as the number one seed in our division for playoffs, but how quickly that has changed.

We’re now more toward the middle of the pack and if things get tied, we still get a point even if we lose in overtime. We need all the points we can get. We need this one. These guys need to have a fighting chance for the playoffs, even if we don’t make it out of the first round.

The center moves around one of the wingers, shifting to the left as I drop down in an effort to block his shot. I can’t tell which corner he’s attempting to pick, so I close the space between the post and my body. My eyes flick to his, seeing his gaze immediately go to the top right corner.

It happens so quickly, but I see the puck soaring through the air. My stick is on the ice, but I shift my body upward, my arm extending as I reach with my glove. The puck hits the center of my palm and I stare him down, effectively stopping his shot.

The ref blows the whistle, play stopping with three seconds left on the clock. The center digs his edges into the ice, coming to an immediate halt just to the side of me. He looks less than pleased and satisfaction fills me as I drop the puck onto the ice.

“Motherfucker,” he mutters, skating past me to head to the face-off dot for play to begin again. The ref grabs the puck, skating to where everyone is waiting. This is my job, this is what I’m here to do. I’m the last line of defense and I’ll do everything in my power to protect my fucking house.

Everyone gets into position and the ref drops the puck. Caleb wins the face-off, sending the puck to Gray. He skates with the puck, but the whistle blows, the horn sounding through the area signaling the end of the last period.

The guys hop over the bench, everyone skating over to the net where I’m standing. They all come up to me, each of them either hitting the top of my helmet with their glove or pressing their helmets against mine.

Carson comes over, his hand landing on my shoulder as he kisses the damn top of my helmet. “Good job, bud.”

After they all come to me, we form two lines, skating past one another as we slap hands, our fingertips dancing against one another’s in a stupid little handshake-slash-high-five Carson started. This win puts us two points closer to securing our seed in playoffs, which is exactly what we needed. The entire locker room is buzzing with energy as we all head inside to get undressed.

I strip down and head into the showers, washing the sweat and dirt from my body before changing back into the suit I wore here. The home team has a spread of food set up for us in one of the rooms, so I stop by there to grab a plate before finding both Ford brothers, Lincoln, and Nash all occupying a table.

Lincoln is on a FaceTime call with Nova, Nash is talking to Riley, and Carson and Caleb are talking about the game as I sit down. Caleb usually talks to his daughter before the games, but he doesn’t normally call after in case she’s asleep. His late wife’s aunt typically takes care of his daughter for him and she tends to go to bed early, so he doesn’t bother calling when it’s this late at night.

Especially with the time difference, we’re two hours behind the time at home. I glance down at my phone, wondering if I should even bother with Hadley. I talked to her earlier today, but it was a short conversation. She called me while she was on her break, just to check in and to let me know that things were going well at home with Lucy. She had to work yesterday and today, so Coach Landry’s daughter, Mia, was with Lucy both days.

She’s in her early twenties and just finished up her internship with the team. From what I was told, she went to school and got a degree in journalism. She was supposedly exploring different options and didn’t love the media side of hockey. I overheard her talking to Nova one day about how she has no idea what she actually wants to do and since she graduated, she’s taking some time off to see if her heart is really in it or not.

Her taking the time off has worked out perfectly and when I put feelers out to find someone to help while Hadley’s at work, she jumped on board immediately. According to Hadley, her first day went seamlessly, so I hope the same was true for today.

I stare down at my phone, noting the time. It’s close to eleven o’clock here, which means it’s already one in the morning at home. I’m torn between whether or not I should text her. Calling her isn’t an option because she’s too polite to ignore my call to tell me that she was sleeping.

Fuck it.

Rowan

I know it’s late, so I hope this doesn’t wake you up. I just wanted to check in and make sure you and Lucy were okay.

It takes me a moment before I force myself to actually press send. She’s off work tomorrow, so I’m not sure if she’s awake or not anyway. Lucy typically wakes up every three to four hours in the middle of the night for a bottle, so I know Hadley will be up at some point and see my message then if she is already asleep.

Just as I’m about to set my phone back down, it vibrates in my hand and I see a message flash across the screen. Lincoln and Nash decide they’re going to go wait in the bus, leaving me and the Ford brothers still at the table. I glance at Caleb, who’s talking to Carson about his daughter, Sydney, so I direct my attention back to my phone.

Hadley

Luckily for you, I’m still awake. The evening was uneventful, although Lucy had some bad gas, so she was a little fussier than normal.

Rowan

Oh no. Is everything okay now?

Hadley

Oh, yeah. I let her soak in the bath for a little bit and did a little massage on her stomach which seemed to help. Her schedule got a little messed up from it, so she only laid down like thirty minutes ago.

I feel a pang of guilt for leaving Hadley there alone with Lucy, not that I would be of much help if I were there. Hadley definitely knows a fuck of a lot more about babies and what to do with them than I do. I don’t know what the hell I would do without her right now, honestly.

I’d probably have to give up my entire hockey career or scramble around to try and navigate this all on my own.

Rowan

I’m glad she settled down. Thank you for being there and taking care of her for me.

Hadley

You don’t have to keep thanking me, Rowan. I want to help you. I was the one who offered.

Rowan

I know, but I just want you to know that I really appreciate it. I appreciate you.

Hadley

I appreciate your appreciation.

But seriously, you can stop thanking me now lol.

I smile as I read over her words, stifling a laugh. It’s clear that compliments and moments like this make Hadley a little uncomfortable, but I can’t help myself. She’s truly a godsend.

And she deserves all the fucking praise in the world.

Rowan

Okay, I’ll stop verbally expressing my gratitude.

Hadley

You don’t need to do anything else to express it. It’s noted.

Good game tonight. That save at the end of the game was wild.

Rowan

You watched the game? I didn’t know you like hockey.

Hadley

I don’t know if I do. I don’t know anything about the sport, but I figured Lucy could watch so she can see what her daddy’s up to while he’s not home.

Something in my chest feels lighter and I can’t help myself as I chuckle. The thought of her showing the game to an infant who clearly has no idea what is going on makes me smile. It’s the thought that counts more than anything.

She sends me a picture of Lucy propped on the chaise lounge of the couch in a rounded pillow, staring at the TV. My heart clenches as I smile at the photo. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m a father. I have a little girl who now relies on me for everything.

Rowan

I wonder if she’ll want to play one day.

As conflicting as everything is, I can already feel the attachment growing.

“What are you smiling about?” Carson questions me as he and Caleb both look at me.

I look up at him, my grin growing wider as I show the picture to Carson and Caleb. “Hadley sent me this picture of Lucy from earlier.”

“This is still fucking crazy to me that you have a baby.” Carson laughs, shaking his head. “She’s actually kind of cute. She doesn’t have that alien look that some babies do.”

Caleb raises an eyebrow at him, giving his brother a disapproving look before directing his attention back to me. “Who’s Hadley?”

Carson chuckles and I resist the urge to kick him under the table. “She’s his brother’s ex-girlfriend.”

Never mind that. I drive the toe of my sneaker into Carson’s shin. He lets out a yowl, pushing his chair back as he lifts his leg to cradle it. “Fuck, that hurt.”

“We’ve known each other for years. She was friends with my brother and they dated for a little bit,” I explain, annoyed with Carson that I even have to offer this part of the explanation. “She’s in between jobs right now, so she’s going to help me out until the season is over.”

“That’s good,” Caleb says, slowly ducking his chin and lifting it. “The first few months can be exhausting, so take all the help you can get. You’ll adjust to everything and it will all become second nature.”

“It’s definitely been an adjustment,” I admit, laughing softly. Caleb knows all about having to do things on your own. He lost his wife in an accident and hasn’t settled down with anyone since. He’s been living the single dad life, but he’s fortunate to have such a great support system.

“It will get easier,” he assures me, slowly pushing his chair back as he begins to rise to his feet. Carson does the same and I follow suit as we all get ready to head to the hotel. “Have you spoken to an attorney about custody?”

My breathing halts, my stomach immediately dropping. “What do you mean?”

Caleb stares at me for a moment. “You need to legally gain full custody of Lucy. If you don’t and her mother decides to come back in the picture without anything in place, she can fuck you. She could take her from you completely.”

Nausea rolls in the pit of my stomach. “I didn’t know that.”

“Call your lawyer,” Caleb instructs as we make our way outside to the bus. “Get it taken care of when we get home. You have a stable income and a good job, so you should be okay. The only thing that could potentially implicate you is our schedule. ”

“What do you mean?” I repeat.

“I mean, it would look better if you were there all the time with her.” He pauses, his lips pursing. “Or if you weren’t single.”

A worry I didn’t know even existed follows me onto the bus and settles in the seat next to me. I suck in a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down before finally looking at my phone again. There are two unread messages from Hadley.

Hadley

Maybe she will or maybe she won’t.

But if she does, I know she’ll have the best teacher.

I read over her messages three separate times, pushing away the thoughts of lawyers and legalities. Hadley offers a distraction and I welcome the smile that drifts across my lips.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with a baby, but I have a feeling all of this is going to be okay. It’s all going to work out.

And I owe it all to Hadley.