Page 19

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ROWAN

W e’ve been gone since Wednesday and I swear, these past four days have been the longest year of my life.

“Did you guys want to go out tonight?” Carson questions the rest of the guys as he walks back into the dressing room. We’ve been on a bit of a winning streak these past few weeks and today we won 5–0.

The entire room is buzzing and the energy from the boys is contagious. Since our game was in the middle of the afternoon, we still have all of tonight to do whatever we want before we have to hop on the plane early tomorrow morning.

Just as the guys start to chime in, my phone vibrates from the front pocket of my pants. Pulling it out, I see that it isn’t the name I wanted to see on the screen.

Raven

Are we still doing dinner tonight?

I forgot I told my sister that I’d meet up with her while I was in town for the night. I didn’t get to talk to her after the game, but I caught a few glimpses of her face from the bench and she was not happy with the way things were going for her team. This is my sister’s second season as the assistant coach for the Bridgewater Bears and she’s really been helping to turn their franchise around.

Rowan

Sure. Did you have a place in mind?

Raven

Yeah, I’ve already made a reservation for 7 p.m. Meet me in the parking lot.

Rowan

Sounds good.

“Taylor, what about you?”

I glance up at Carson who’s looking at me expectantly as I lock my phone screen and place it back in my pocket. “Not tonight. I’m supposed to meet Raven for dinner.”

“The Bears’ assistant coach?” Gray, one of the wingers, questions me from where he’s sitting. He lets out a low whistle. “I wouldn’t mind meeting her for dinner.”

I look over at him as he rises to his feet, joining a few other guys waiting by the door. “Yeah, she’s my sister, asshole.”

The color drains from Gray’s face and he gives me an apologetic smile. “My bad, I didn’t know that.”

Carson snorts, rolling his eyes at Gray before looking back at me. “If you decide you want to meet up with us after, just let me know.”

I jerk my chin in agreement as I also climb to my own feet. We all funnel out of the dressing room, down the hall, and make our way out into the parking lot to find the bus. I stand off to the side, watching them all file on, each of them finding a seat. My sister must be parked somewhere in their underground garage, but I have no idea where I’m supposed to find her.

A horn beeps from behind me as I lift my hand to wave at the guys as the bus begins to drive away. I look over my shoulder, my body slowly turning around as I see a black Benz stopping behind me. The tinted window rolls down, revealing my sister sitting behind the steering wheel.

“Get in, loser.”

I walk directly over to the driver’s side, attempting to pull open the door, which is inevitably locked. “Let me drive. I don’t trust you not to get us killed.”

Raven lets out a snort, rolling her eyes at me. “Get the fuck out of here.” She laughs, shaking her head. “My city, my car, my rules. Get in or we’re going to miss our reservation and then you’re going to have to deal with me being hangry.”

I stare at my sister for a moment, attempting to keep a neutral and stoic expression, but I fail. Laughter escapes me and I give her the middle finger before walking around the front of the car and climbing into the passenger’s seat. The interior of the car is perfectly clean and looks like she just rolled off the lot with it .

Raven Taylor is such a type A person, I shouldn’t be surprised by this at all.

“Good game tonight,” she says as she pulls out of the garage and onto the street. “You played your ass off. You were practically standing on your head tonight.”

I glance over at my sister, pulling my seat belt across my body as I smile at her. “Yeah, well, your guys didn’t make it fucking easy.” I chuckle, reaching toward the screen in the center of the car to change the music. Raven swats my hand away.

“They played well, but not well enough.”

“Don’t be so hard on them,” I tell her, studying the side of my sister’s face. She’s almost two years older than me, although we look more like we could be fraternal twins. Same color eyes, same color hair—she’s just definitely the prettier and more feminine of the two of us. “Look at the team you guys were up against.”

“Jesus, you’re so cocky sometimes, it’s disgusting.” She laughs, shaking her head before looking at me from the corner of her eye. “But you’re also entirely correct.”

“You’ve been doing a great job with the team, so try not to be so hard on yourself,” I tell her, the seriousness hanging in my tone as the atmosphere changes. My sister is one who strives for perfection, which I think contributed to her downfall with playing professionally herself.

She played in the women’s professional league for a few years before it blew up in her face. She was continuously pushing herself too hard and past the limits of safety. After tearing muscles in her thigh and calf, she lied to the team doctors, telling them she felt fine, when she in fact was not fine.

She hid the pain for a few games before she ended up injuring herself past the point of no return. She could have continued to play after rehabilitation, but if she got injured again, it could have resulted in very serious damage. I know it was hard for Raven to make the decision, but she ultimately decided to step down from her pro career and transitioned into a position of coaching instead.

“You do realize who you’re talking to, right?” she reminds me, raising her brows as she pulls up along the street where the restaurant is. It’s a dark, almost black-colored brick building and looks equally as dark inside. She lets out a sigh. “Oh, little brother. I wish I had your attitude and positivity. Unfortunately, I’ll probably continue to beat myself up until the day I die.”

I stare at her for a moment as she kills the engine. “It sounds like it’s pretty miserable to be you.”

She attempts to punch me, but I duck out of the way, her fist meeting the air as I quickly scramble out of the car. I hear Raven laughing, mumbling a string of curses under her breath, before she follows suit and meets me in front of the restaurant.

“I’ve missed you and that black cloud you drag along with you,” I joke, pulling her against my side as I ruffle the hair on the top of her head, pulling pieces from the tight bun she has it pulled back in.

“Pfft,” she says, pushing me away as she attempts to smooth out her hair again. “That fucking thing follows me around. ”

“No, it doesn’t, Rae,” I tell her, shaking my head as I pull open the door for her. “You cling to it like a security blanket and refuse to release it.”

Raven cuts her eyes at me as she walks past. “Listen, bro. If I wanted a therapy session, I would have called my therapist, not you.”

She doesn’t comment any further as she steps up to the host and tells the young woman her name before we’re led through the swanky French restaurant, finally reaching a table along the wall. I also don’t bother to say anything else because I’m just glad to hear she’s still seeing her therapist.

We both settle into our seats, retrieving the menus and scanning the words until our server comes over with a bottle of water and two glasses. He pours each of us a drink before asking if we want anything else to drink. We order a bottle of wine before returning our attention back to the menus.

Raven brings up some of the selections and we spend a few moments discussing food. I see the persisting questions in her eyes and I know she’s chomping at the bit to get into the nitty-gritty things right now.

When the server returns again, he pours the wine, takes our order, and disappears again through the restaurant. Raven waits until he’s far enough away that there’s no one who could potentially be listening to our conversation before she dives in without any remaining hesitation.

“I’ve heard the story from Mom, but it’s your turn to explain. ”

I’ve been avoiding this conversation with my sister since I told my mom about Lucy. I told her, knowing she would inform the rest of the family, even my brother who’s currently in a rehabilitation facility. There were no secrets in the Taylor family, and I’ve been able to starve Raven of any additional information, telling her I wanted to talk to her in person instead.

Well, here we are in person now.

My movements are deliberately slow as I take a sip of my wine before diving in. I give her the entire story from start to finish and I’m left winded after I get it all out. I will say, there is a bit of relief that comes with getting it all out in the open like that.

Raven stares at me. “Jesus fucking Christ, Rowan.”

“I know,” I agree, bowing my head at her as I let out a sigh of relief, but it’s also a bit exasperated. “I know, it’s a lot.”

“I don’t even know what topic to touch first.” A wave of emotion washes over her expression. “Like, do we talk about your surprise baby or the fact that you’re engaged to our brother’s ex-girlfriend?”

I blow out a breath through my nose. “I mean, I don’t even know.”

“Does Beau know? Does he know about you and Hadley?” She stares at me, her gaze burning through mine. “I didn’t even know you were seeing her.”

I don’t know how far to take this lie. Raven lives in a different city. She’s always been the one person I’ve trusted with my entire life. The one I could always confide in. It just feels wrong to lie to her, so instead, I decide to water it down a bit .

“It’s new,” I tell her, shrugging my shoulders. “I told Mom we had been dating for longer so she would be on board with the engagement. When Hadley and I found out about Lucy, she understood the importance of me gaining custody of her.”

She tilts her head to the side. “Wait, so are the two of you actually engaged or not?”

“We are, but only because she agreed it would look better for my case.”

Raven visibly relaxes, leaning back in her seat as she lifts her glass of wine to her lips and takes a sip of the red liquid. “Okay, I understand why you would have lied to Mom and I might like Hadley even more for this.” She pauses, her lips pursing. “I’ll be honest, it’s weird because she dated Beau. I don’t know her like that, but from what I do know, she’s always seemed very kind and caring.”

“She is,” I assure her. “She’s amazing with Lucy and she’s been a huge help to me.”

Raven stares at me. “You didn’t answer my question about Beau. Does he know?”

I shake my head at my sister, the guilt layering in the pit of my stomach. “I haven’t talked to him in at least a year.”

After the night I found Hadley in tears, I wrote Beau off. I’d had enough of his shit and I was sick of always cleaning up his messes, even in our adult years. He left that day for Boston and ended up getting himself into a whirlwind of trouble that landed him at rock bottom.

According to my mom, he was the one who put himself into rehab and based on that initiative alone, it gave my mother hope. She truly believes he’s making the right changes to get his life on track.

“You should talk to him,” she encourages, her expression softening as she leans forward, placing her forearms on the table. “I was reluctant to do it, but he’s been doing really well. He has a few weeks left in rehab and then he’ll be moving in with Mom and Dad for the time being.”

Irritation licks at my heart. “Why? So he can just take advantage of Mom and Dad’s kindness a little more?”

Raven shrugs. “I don’t know, Ro. I’m not saying he’s changed and things will be different when he gets out, but it seems like he’s trying and that’s all we can hope for, right?”

My sister has been the one with the most resistance toward Beau. The two of them butted heads for years, so this change of heart with her has me shocked. She’s never agreed with his behavior or actions, but it seems as though something changed.

“All I’m saying is, talk to him.” She shrugs again with indifference. “If he’s still the fucking asshole you remember, then write him off for good.”

I lift an eyebrow at her. “Is that your plan?”

“I guess.” She takes another sip of her wine. “I’m giving him a chance to show me he can change and be better. And if he can’t, then I don’t need to see or talk to him again.”

I mull over her words, considering her advice. Reaching out to my brother isn’t really what I want to do because it’s going to open a box of emotions and uncomfortable feelings. We’ve never had a good relationship, but what if there’s a chance that could change? If he’s doing better, perhaps there’s room for improvement in all aspects of his life, including his family life.

“Enough about that asshole,” Raven says with a laugh, breaking through my thoughts as she holds out her hand. “Show me some pictures of my baby niece. We play you guys in Aston after the break, so you’d better believe I’m going to need to see her in person then.”

Laughter falls from my lips. “I figured.”

I open up my photos, immediately going to the album I’ve created for pictures of Lucy. The first one that pops up is a picture I took of Hadley holding her when she didn’t realize I was watching. She’s standing in the center of my kitchen, wearing a loose-fitting t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts. Her face is lowered to Lucy’s, their gazes intertwined as Hadley smiles down at her.

My heart clenches and something resembling homesickness wells in my chest.

Fuck . . .

I miss them both.