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CHAPTER THREE

HADLEY

I don’t think there’s a specific word in the dictionary that would come close to describing how awkward I feel in this moment.

Standing beneath the porch light, I glance at Rowan with the baby in my arms as he turns the doorknob on the front door of his friend’s house. He’s quiet as he pushes it open, holding it for me as I step in ahead of him. The house is warm and smells faintly of vanilla and coffee. It’s comforting and welcoming and for a moment, I’m glad for the silence that encapsulates us.

Rowan looks down at me, a terse look on his face before someone steps into the foyer at the end of the hall. She’s a beautiful woman, her eyes bright, yet her face tired as she stares at us for a moment. She’s wearing a pair of lavender silk pajamas and her blonde hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun.

“Hey,” she says softly, walking closer to the two of us. She stops in front of Rowan, pulling him in for a hug. “What’s going on? Lincoln said you needed our help with something and it was urgent.” She releases him, turning to face me with a smile on her face. “Hi, I’m Nova.”

“Hadley,” I tell her quietly, forcing a smile onto my face.

Her gaze immediately drops down to the baby in my arms. “Oh,” she says softly, her eyes filled with concern as she looks up at me. “Who is this?”

“Her name is Lucy,” Rowan informs her, his voice gruff as he stays behind her, eyes bouncing from the baby and back to me. “Hadley found her abandoned at the hospital with some things insinuating I’m her father.”

“I’m guessing this is what you needed help with.” She glances at him, before looking back at me. “May I?” Nova asks, holding her hands out to take the baby.

Instinctively, I glance up at Rowan and he gives me a swift dip of his chin before I smile at her, moving the baby from my arms into hers. She holds her perfectly, tucking her against her body. “Oh my goodness. She’s so tiny and so precious.”

Footsteps lumber down the stairs and I glance up, catching sight of a man walking down toward us. His hair is a tousled mess on top of his head, his eyes landing on Nova as he tucks his hands into the front pockets of his Bauer hoodie.

“Ro,” he says with his chin lifting, glancing at me as he tilts his head to the side as he holds his hand out for me to shake it. “I’m Lincoln, Nova’s fiancé. Rowan and I play together. ”

I slide my hand into his, giving him a gentle shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Hadley.”

Lincoln narrows his eyes on me for a moment before directing his gaze to his fiancée. Nova looks up at him, the softest smile glazing over her lips. “What’s this about?”

“Apparently Rowan might be a father.” She smiles down at the little girl. “Isn’t she just so sweet?”

“She is,” he agrees, although there’s a hardness to his tone. His stare slices back to me and I hold my breath, waiting for him to bare his teeth at me. “I’m going to go ahead and cut to the chase. What is your motive here? Are you trying to trap Rowan in something?”

“Lincoln,” Nova warns him, her voice low and stern. Her eyes cut to his face as his stare hardens on me. “Stop being an abrasive asshole when you don’t even have all the details.”

The color drained from Rowan’s face a while ago, and his eyes are vacant and lost. “It’s not hers,” he says slowly, his chest rising as he inhales deeply. “Hadley’s an old friend and she used to date my brother.”

No one speaks and the silence is deafening. Something shifts in the air around us and my chest begins to constrict, that paralyzing feeling creeping over me as it feels like the walls are closing in on me. My insides quiver and I hold my breath for a moment, attempting to steady my heartbeat.

What a first fucking impression I’m having on who are clearly two of the closest people to Rowan Taylor.

“Do you guys want coffee? I sure could use one,” Nova chimes in, finally breaking through the silence as she glances around at the three of us. No one answers and she dips her chin, forcing a tense smile across her lips. “Let’s all go in the kitchen and we can talk about what is actually going on here.”

The baby begins to stir in her arms, her little fist instantly going to her mouth as she lets out a cry and begins to suck on it.

“Grab the diaper bag from Rowan,” Nova instructs Lincoln, motioning toward the bag. “I’ll change her diaper and give her a bottle, assuming there are things in there.”

“Whoever dropped her off left enough things for a few days.”

Lincoln grumbles something under his breath, taking the bag from Rowan, and he’s the first to spin on his heel as he heads into the kitchen at the end of the hall. Rowan looks at me for a moment, his lips parting almost as if he’s going to say something, but instead, he shuts them and rubs his eyes.

Nova follows behind her fiancé, shushing the baby and leaving Rowan and me to bring up the rear. He falls in step beside me, his voice reserved for only my ears.

“Sorry. I’m not throwing you to the wolves, even if Lincoln makes it seem that way.” He pauses, his eyes finding me as we reach the end of the hall. “He can be a pit bull, but I promise he’s a good guy beneath the tough exterior.”

“I know how this probably looks to them,” I tell him, shrugging my shoulders before straightening my spine. “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.” I glance down at the watch on my wrist as it vibrates, seeing it’s a message from Cole. “Shit, I need to call work.”

“Go ahead, I’ll wait with you.”

I give him the softest smile as I pull out my phone and dial the number for my manager. She answers on the second ring and I give her a bullshit excuse, telling her that I ended up getting sick while I was on break. It’s a blatant lie, but she seems to accept it without any questions. I resist the superstitious urge to knock on wood, because the last thing I need is for karma to bite me in the ass and actually make me sick.

I quickly type out a message to Cole, telling him the same excuse so my story adds up. He sends a message back, questioning me on what the hell is going on, but I put my phone on Do Not Disturb as I glance back at Rowan.

He’s watching me, his expression unreadable before he finally motions toward the kitchen. “Ready?”

I swallow roughly over the lump lodged in my throat, half feeling like I’m moving through a dream as I jerk my chin at him. He moves before me, stepping through the threshold, undoubtedly leading me directly into the wolves’ den. Lincoln is busying himself by the counter, setting out four coffee mugs before picking up the carafe to fill them with steaming liquid.

Nova sits down at the island, holding the baby still as she motions for the two of us to sit across from her. “Let’s start from the beginning so we can clear up any confusion.”

“Okay,” Rowan starts, looking at me as if he doesn’t know where to start exactly. Lincoln joins the three of us, setting mugs down in front of Rowan and me, and then Nova as he presses his lips to the top of her head. Rowan lets out a breath and I know he needs me to step in.

“At the hospital, we have an area set up in the foyer that is our safe haven area. It’s for mothers to safely leave their babies if they realize they cannot or do not want to raise them.” I watch Nova’s eyebrows pull together, sadness washing over her expression. “I know, it’s sad, but it’s the safest option for a baby that’s abandoned.” I save her the heartbreaking alternatives I’ve heard of when it comes to babies being abandoned.

“When I was leaving for my break, I found her in the bassinet, but I don’t think the alarm ever went off to alert staff members.” I pause for a moment, realizing how fucked up this is about to sound when I admit that I walked out with her, but I have to give them the truth. I have to be straightforward with my potential mistake. “I found her birth certificate, a photo of Rowan with a note about him being the father, and then there was an envelope addressed to him.” I let out a deep breath, my shoulders sagging with it. “I walked out with her and called Rowan.”

Nova swallows, adjusting the bottle in the baby’s mouth. “You walked out of the hospital with a baby that may or may not be Rowan’s,” he says, his voice flat and tense. “That might be the most irresponsible fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

Nova stares at me. “What would the alternative have been?”

“She would have immediately been thrown into the system and then a foster home and hopefully adoption. If Rowan would have found out about her after that, he would’ve had to go to court to get custody of her. Not only would he have to prove that she’s his, he would have to prove he didn’t abandon the mother while she was pregnant.”

“Well then, I can see why you did what you did,” Nova tells me softly, her eyes warm as they search mine. “You weighed your options and made the decision you thought was best.”

“It didn’t feel right to not tell him.”

Lincoln doesn’t appear to be on the same page as Nova. “You made a life-changing decision for him without him even knowing. You should have taken her into the hospital and let it be sorted the way it should be.”

Rowan interjects, his eyes hard as he stares at his friend. “No, she did the right thing. If she would have taken her inside, I may have never known about the baby.”

“Please tell me you’re at least going to get a paternity test,” Lincoln grinds out, his nostrils flaring.

“I’m not a fucking idiot,” Rowan snaps at him before running a frustrated hand through his hair. He turns to me now. “But speaking of that, what are my options for a test?”

“My friend’s boyfriend works at the local lab,” I explain, already having this semi planned out in my head. Cole’s boyfriend may be able to help us, but that means I’m going to have to let them know what’s going on. “I wanted to check with you first before asking him, but I can see if he can help. Usually results take a few days.”

“Is your friend trustworthy?”

I stare at Rowan for a moment, mulling over the thought inside my brain. Considering how precarious this situation is, I need to really think things through before I tell Cole what is going on. If I’m careful enough, I can give him a different version of the story and he’ll never have to know the truth.

“Yes,” I tell him, attempting to sound convincing. There’s no one I trust fully, but this is the most viable option we have at this moment. “I’ll do whatever I have to do or say to get this to happen.”

Rowan’s nostrils flare, his dark blue eyes burning holes through mine. “I don’t want you to get in trouble for any of this, Hadley.” His expression softens as he continues to stare at me. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

“Tell that to the police,” Lincoln mumbles under his breath, the words piercing my heart. I’m so conflicted and so torn. Did I fuck everything up or was what I did truly the best option?

“Fuck off, Matthews,” Rowan barks at him, shaking his head. “You’re supposed to be helping me, not making this fucking worse.”

“Both of you, shut up,” Nova snaps at them, her head whipping back and forth between her fiancé and Rowan. “Hadley did what she thought was the right thing. This is where we are now and there is nothing we can do to change the chain of events.” Her tongue darts out to wet her lips as she focuses on Rowan. “The real question is, what are you going to do if the baby isn’t yours?”

Rowan’s face goes even paler than it was before. He lets out a shallow breath and I don’t miss the way his body falls rigid. “I didn’t think that far.” The pulse in his throat is visible, pounding faster.

“Every hospital has a safe haven,” I interject, attempting to save Rowan from the way he’s beginning to spiral inside his head. “I will take her to another one if that’s what it comes down to.” I already know in my heart that I could never do that, but I don’t know how the hell I could legally keep her myself.

Nova looks between the two of us and I’m not sure she’s fully convinced. “Okay. Just as long as we have a plan for each possible outcome.” She glances at Lincoln, lifting her brow at him. “We’re going to help them with whatever they need and stop being so judgy, right?”

Lincoln’s expression softens as he stares back at her. “Yes.” He looks at Rowan, his face serious. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.” He directs his gaze to me and I’m momentarily shocked. “I’m sorry, Hadley. It wasn’t fair for me to pass judgement on you and the situation before having all the details.”

A man who apologizes? Nova really hit the jackpot.

“I appreciate your apology,” I tell him, feeling a bit awkward with the attention solely on me. “I know it didn’t look good with the way we showed up. I promise I am not trying to trap Rowan in anything. If he wants this entire thing to go away, I will accept full responsibility for the baby and my actions.”

Lincoln stares at me for a moment before he seems to be pleased with the things I’ve told him. The corners of his mouth turn upward, just the slightest, although they’re too tense to resemble a smile. He inclines his head forward and lets out a sigh. “So, what’s the plan next?” He glances at the time on the stove. “It’s almost two in the morning and we have a morning skate and a game tomorrow.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Rowan tells him, shaking his head as his shoulders sag. “I didn’t even think about tomorrow. I literally panicked and you guys were the first ones I thought to call. I know Nash and Riley have an infant they’re dealing with, so I didn’t want to bother them.”

“Ro, stop, you called the right people.” Nova smiles at him, pushing back her chair as she rises to her feet. She walks over to me, handing me the baby to burp her before she goes to rinse out the bottle. “I have all of Poe’s stuff in the basement. I was saving things in case we have a baby, but you can use them until you know what’s going on.”

Lincoln also rises to his feet, along with Rowan, and the three of them disappear into the basement as I hold the baby, gently patting her back until she lets out a few belches. After she’s apparently comfortable and all the gas bubbles are dissolved, I shift her back into my arms as the men begin to bring things up into the kitchen and out to Rowan’s car.

They manage to load a bassinet, a changing pad, and some other miscellaneous things in the trunk. Nova is the last to come up, setting a proper carry type car seat on the counter. Lincoln grabs the base, going out to the car to secure it in the back seat with Rowan as I strap the baby in.

“I know you know what you’re doing with babies since you’re a nurse, but Rowan has no fucking clue,” Nova says softly, handing me a blanket to tuck around the baby. “He’s going to need as much help as he can get.”

Rowan and I haven’t discussed any specifics, but the last thing I planned on doing was leaving him to figure this all out on his own.

“I plan on doing whatever I can do to help him.”

Nova stares at me for a moment, her expression free of any negativity. “I don’t disagree with what you did and honestly, I probably would have done the same thing. However, we don’t know what kind of a mess this could potentially turn into and I just want to make sure Rowan has as much support as possible.”

“You have my word, Nova,” I promise her without a single ounce of hesitation. “I won’t leave him to do this alone.”

“No one wants to do it alone,” she says quietly, a tender smile drifting across her lips. “Trust me, I know from experience.”

The boys walk back in, Rowan stopping beside me as he glances down at the baby. His eyes are glazed over, almost as if he’s operating on fumes right now. “Are you ready to go?”

Guilt pricks at my spine as I know I’m the reason he’s disconnected and numb. His world has been turned upside down and he’s still struggling to process everything that’s going on around him. Nothing could have prepared him for a mindfuck quite like this one.

“If you are.”

He glances down at the baby, his jaw tightening as he grabs the carrier, lifting it from the counter. “As ready as I’m going to be.”

We say our goodbyes to Nova and Lincoln and they wait by the front door as Rowan and I get the baby secured in the back seat. He’s silent as I climb into the front, but he finally looks at me as he’s about to pull the car away from the curb.

“Will you come home with me?”

I turn to look at him, my breath catching in my throat. “Sure.”

“I just...I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I’d feel better if you were there with me.”

I stare at him for a moment, emotion washing over me, but I quickly push it away. “Of course. Whatever you need.”

Rowan runs his tongue over his teeth. “Thanks.” He tips his chin, although his voice is distant and barely audible. He directs his attention back to the road, pulling the truck away from the curb as we head in the direction of his house.

Guilt washes over me as we ride silently through the night. All of this is my fault and I’m afraid when the dust settles, he might never forgive me for this.