Page 63

Theo

No.

No, no, no.

This can’t be h appening. She can’t be gone.

“Annie, no!” screams Ben, stumbling toward the spot where she disappeared.

The sound of him calling her name tears me to shreds, and I have to grab his arm to keep him from walking straight into the fire.

I’ve been holding my breath, but now the acrid smoke pours into my lungs with a vengeance, snapping me back into the moment.

“Ben, we have to go, now !” I shout, turning and pushing him down the hall, past the open kennel doors. I can hear sirens outside, dogs barking, people shouting, but Ben is almost like dead weight between my arms.

“Anybody in here?” The voice of a firefighter up ahead seems to pull him out of it, and he wipes tears from his eyes. We’re both still clutching pillow cases full of writhing, unhappy cats, and we run the rest of the way to the front door, where a man in full gear is standing.

“We’re the only ones,” I cough.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. No one else, and no more animals.”

A look of anguish crosses Ben’s face.

“Get out to the ambulance!” the firefighter instructs, and we stumble out of the building, only to be engulfed by flashing lights and jumping dogs.

Another firefighter offers to take the cats from us, pointing to two anim al control trucks and half a dozen workers nearby who are trying to contain the chaos. Ben and I pass the pillowcases over.

“This one,” I tell the firefighter, “the kittens were just born last night. Please be careful.”

She nods and whisks them away, while we head for the ambulance.

They give us oxygen first, and apparently decide that I’m worse off than Ben is, because they cut my shirt open, then strap me to a gurney.

I’m almost delirious, but I hear them say something about a nasty burn on my chest. Ben’s voice quickly becomes strained and angry as he argues with the paramedics.

“No, I need to go with him!” he begs.

“Are you family?” one of them asks. I try to say something, but my voice is completely gone, and I have an oxygen mask strapped over my face anyway.

“I’m his husband!” Ben says frantically. “Jesus fucking Christ, just let me ride with him, please !”

They relent and allow him to crouch beside me in the back of the ambulance. He grabs my hand and drops his forehead onto my thigh as we move away and the sirens come on. He’s shaking, and I stroke his hair as he cries softly into the blanket covering my leg.

I want to cry, but I’m just…numb. I still can’t understand what happened.

Annie’s gone. Just like that. They took her back, probably because she used her powers to save our lives.

That’s the only thing that makes sense to me, even in my semi-coherent state.

She’d done plenty of things she probably wasn’t supposed to do, but…

I guess saving humans and kittens from a fire was a bridge too far, and they took her from us.

Tears sting my eyes. There’s a deep pain in my chest that has nothing to do with the apparent burn wound just over my heart.

Right where Annie touched me. It feels like I’ve been torn open, like she was part of me—like she’d put down roots in my body—and they ripped us apart.

Now, there’s an emptiness where her warmth used to be.

An aching, cavernous, cold space I’ll never be able to fill or heal.

“Don’t mess with it,” says the paramedic, pulling my hand away from where I was unconsciously touching the burn mark. “It’s not the worst burn I’ve ever seen, but it’ll definitely scar. Looks like your hu sband got a little bit too. You’re lucky you weren’t closer to that explosion.”

I lift the edge of the mask slightly and rasp, “The animals?”

“I think all the dogs were fine. Not sure about the cats, especially the little ones. As stupid as you two are…I have to tell you, that was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.” A tear slides down her face, and she wipes it away. “I got my dog from that shelter, and he’s my best friend.”

We’re silent the rest of the way to the hospital.

The paramedic puts some ointment and a bandage on Ben’s neck, just below his ear, where he has five small burn marks that look almost like fingerprints.

He holds onto my hand as they wheel me up to a clean, cool hospital room, where he slumps into a chair and covers his face with his hands, shoulders trembling.

The next few hours are a blur. Doctors, nurses, needles, tests, more oxygen, IVs. Ben’s hoarse and terrified voice telling Molly what happened over the phone. I was ordered not to speak too much, so they brought me a pad of paper and a pen. When he hangs up, I point to the note I’ve written.

He reads it and frowns. “Am I going to call my sister? I guess I probably should, but I’m fine. They gave me some oxygen and said I’ll be alright. You were in there way longer than me, osito .”

I shake my head and write, You need to call your sister.

He sighs. “If I tell Yelena, she’ll force my parents to come down here. I don’t want to deal with that right now. I just want to focus on you.” He pulls his chair over beside my bed and sits down, dropping his face back onto my leg like he did in the ambulance.

“Ben…” I whisper, “talk to me.”

“She saved us,” he mutters, “and they fucking punished her for it. God knows what they’re doing to her right now, Theo. I can’t fucking stand it. I just want her back. I promised her I wouldn’t let this happen, and what did I do? I just fucking stood there.”

I just write a note that says, NOT YOUR FAULT .

It doesn’t seem to help though, because his body starts to shake again as he cries. All I can do is run my fingers along his shoulders until the medicine in the IV sends me into a heavy–thankfully dreamless–sleep.

When I wake up, the first thing I hear is my mom’s voice, so I keep my eyes closed. I can hear Molly and Dad too, and the anxiety flares in my chest. Where’s Ben? Did they make him leave? Did he get into an argument with them? Is he alone? Is he safe?

“No,” Mom is saying, in what Molly and I call her ‘teacher voice’, “I am not giving them an answer until Teddy wakes up. Tell them to go to Hell.”

“Beth.” Dad’s admonishment is gentle, and I can sense that he’s sitting in the chair beside my bed.

“Just wait for Ben to come back,” says Molly. “He can talk to them.”

“I don’t think that boy’s in any fit state to talk to anyone,” Mom replies softly. “He was practically sick worrying about Teddy when we got here. Poor thing.” I feel her hand slip through mine and finally open my eyes.

“Where’s Ben?” I ask, my voice still barely audible. Mom lets out a small gasp and they all crowd around the bed.

“Oh, Teddy, how do you feel?” she asks.

“Like I got hit by a truck,” I tell them, and Molly laughs a little. “Where’s Ben?”

Mom and Dad exchange a look, but Molly answers.

“He was getting really restless, so Tabby took him out on the lawn to kick her ball around a little. I have his number now, and I told him I’d call as s oon as you woke up.

” She raises one eyebrow at me, then flicks her eyes over to Mom and Dad.

It’s a signal that I take to mean ‘tell them the truth now, before it becomes painfully obvious when he gets back’.

Dad pats my lower leg and gives me a tense smile.

“Proud of you, Teddy,” he says gruffly.

“John!” Mom exclaims. “He almost died!”

Dad just chuckles. “That’s why I’m proud of him, Beth. He put his life on the line to help animals who couldn’t help themselves. That’s the kind of man we raised him to be, right?”

Mom just grumbles and pushes some hair out of my face.

“I have to tell you guys something,” I say, trying to keep the lump in my throat from overwhelming my already shaky voice.

“We’re here, sweetie,” says Mom, taking my hand. I suck in a deep breath and close my eyes for a moment, picturing Ben’s face, his smile, the way he looks at me. He’s worth it. We’re worth it. No matter what happens.

“Ben isn’t my roommate,” I tell them, and Mom frowns, “I mean, not anymore. He was, that’s how we met, but now he’s…we’re…we’re together. We’ve been together for…a while, and I love him.”

Mom has a tiny, momentary breakdown and puts her arms around me, but I just watch Dad’s face, which is so impassive that it makes me anxious.

His eyes wander up to Molly for a moment, and she gives him a look that could kill.

He’s quiet as he glances over at the window, then at Mom.

Finally, he sighs and reaches out to give me another gentle pat, this time on the hand.

“Proud of you,” he says again.

The tears flood back and I let out the breath I was holding. “You…you’re not upset?”

“Oh, honey, of course not!” Mom cries, holding my face between her hands. “You really think we’d disown you for being gay after your sister got pregnant out of wedlock at nineteen?”

“Hey!” Molly laughs, and Mom grins at her. I try to laugh too, but it just turns into a cough, and Mom passes me a cup of water from the bedside table. I tak e a drink, then allow myself a small chuckle as Molly hugs me too.

“I fucking knew it,” she whispers in my ear.

“Oh, and I’m, uh…I’m not actually gay,” I tell Mom. “I’m…bi. Bisexual. Just so you know.”

“What’s that mean?” Dad asks. Tabby suddenly appears at his elbow, holding her soccer ball and grinning.

“It means he likes boys and girls, Papa,” she chimes in. “Don’t you ever go on the internet?”

“Hell no,” Dad grunts. Ben comes into the room, and I want to slap my family when they all turn to look at him. He stops and glances around, then walks up to the bed slowly.

“How’re you feeling, osi – I mean…uhh…Theo…” His cheeks redden, but I just reach out and grab his hand.

“I told them. It’s ok,” I murmur. A crease appears between his eyebrows, and he seems anxious, but I squeeze his fingers and give Molly a pointed look.