Page 54

Annie

Ben hands me a bowl of the creamy tomato soup we made, along with a plate stacked with gri lled cheese sandwiches, and a large bottle of my favorite hot sauce.

I pour some into the soup, then drizzle more over my sandwich.

The delicious burn of the first bite travels up my nose, then down my throat, and I let out a satisfied sigh as I settle onto the couch with a blanket.

Theo sits in the chair with his bowl and the TV remote.

He finds the episode of Clone Wars that we left off on while Ben was away, then waits until we are all ready.

Ben flops beside me on the couch and pulls me under his arm with a kiss.

A strange, new sensation comes over me as the show begins and I eat my dinner.

It is heavy, but in a good way. Warm, but not burning.

I want to ask Ben what this feeling could be, but he is quite focused on the show now, and I cannot help but smile.

Theo has certainly converted him into a Star Wars fan.

I make a mental note to involve my Princess Leia outfit the next time we are in the bedroom, or the shower… or the car…or on the couch…

“This finale is going to break my heart, isn’t it?” Ben asks.

“Definitely,” Theo answers with a grin. I finish my food quickly and Theo passes me another sandwich, but the odd heaviness only grows, and I have to set it aside after only eating half.

I curl under Ben’s arm and try to watch the television, but it feels as though my body is slipping away from me somehow, like I am floating halfway between the earth and the sky.

I close my eyes for a moment, and the next thing I know, Ben is shaking my shoulders.

“Annie!” he calls. “Annie! What’s wrong? I don’t think she can even hear me. Annie!”

Theo’s voice breaks through the fog too. “Is she…sick? Can she get sick?”

My eyes snap open. Ben is still beside me on the couch, but Theo is crouched near my head, a worried crease between his eyebrows.

“What is the matter?” I ask. “What happened?” Something feels different, but I cannot figure out what it is until I look at the window and realize it is pitch black outside.

“Annie, did you…fall asleep?” Ben asks incredulously.

“I…I do not sleep,” I mutter, pulling myself up and putting a hand to my forehead. “I cannot…I mean, I did not think I could.”

“Sweetheart, it’s been two hours since we started the show,” Theo says, waving at the TV. “We thought you were just quiet because you were so into it, but…I think you were actually asleep.”

“She hardly moved at all,” Ben says with a small laugh.

I shake my head. “I do not understand. How did I fall asleep?” Ben wraps me in his arms and I fall into him, burying my face in his chest and trying to avoid the bruise from my wings.

“She’s changing, osito ,” he says quietly. “We have to figure this out. We have to keep her here.”

“I know,” Theo says softly. “Annie, do you want to go to the bed and sleep more?”

I sit up and shake my head. “I missed the ending,” I say, waving at the TV. “I would like to stay up and watch it.”

“Well, I need to get to bed,” Theo says. “I have to be at the shelter early to start this training. Do you want to stay out here with her?”

“Just for a little while, to make sure she’s alright,” Ben replies. Theo reaches down and takes my hand, kissing the back.

“We’ll figure it out, Annie, alright? I promise.” I brush my fingers along his cheek and his eyes close for a moment, then he goes to check on the new cat, leaving me alone with Ben on the couch.

“How wil l you find a way for me to stay here?” I ask quietly.

“Tomorrow, before you and Theo go to work, you’re gonna drop me off at the library downtown to do some research,” Ben murmurs. “I’ll start there, and I won’t stop until I have an answer.”

“I love you,” I tell him, turning my face so I can see his eyes. “Do you know that?”

“I know,” he whispers, kissing the tip of my nose. He stays with me for another thirty minutes as I restart the Clone Wars episodes I missed. Soon, however, he begins to yawn and drift off, so I insist he go to bed with Theo.

My body no longer feels heavy or warm, but I think it has something to do with the terrible events of the show.

I can hardly tear my eyes away to say goodnight to Ben when he leaves.

Once I am alone, I bundle myself up in blankets, as if they are a shield against the angst and emotional damage I am about to experience at the hands of fictional characters.

Just as I am starting the second-to-last episode, I hear a strange noise and look down to see the brown cat sitting at my feet, his huge green eyes shining in the darkness.

Moving slowly so as not to startle him, I pause the show and hold my hand out.

“Hello there. I am a friend, I promise.”

He gives a small chirp and leaps onto the couch, but does not make contact.

I avert my eyes, like Theo told me to, but leave my hand out and open, resting on my knee as I resume watching Clone Wars .

The cat sits for a moment, twitching his long tail, then settles only a foot away with his front paws tucked beneath him.

It takes all of my self-control not to call for Theo and Ben to come out and see what is happening.

The little creature remains beside me, still and silent, as I become more and more emotional, the churning pit of snakes in my stomach almost unbearable as the episode goes on.

What I am watching play out on the screen is not dissimilar to what I experienced only a day ago, when Annoth took control and tried to make me hurt th e people I care about.

Close to the end of the episode, I realize that my entire body is shaking violently.

Just when I am considering waking Ben up, the cat rises, stretches his body out, and climbs into my lap.

In shock, I hold my hands away from him as he kneads my legs with his tiny claws, then curls into a tight ball on top of my thighs.

Now, more than ever, I desperately want to wake Theo and Ben up, but I dare not disturb the little animal using me for a bed.

His body begins to vibrate softly. Purring, I realize, and I slowly run my fingers over his head.

The purring intensifies, so I do it again, until we have settled into a cozy rhythm and my own shaking has stopped.

It is still difficult to watch as Ahsoka and Rex fight their way past the other clone troopers to escape, but at least I have someone to comfort me now.

“I know exactly what your name will be,” I tell the cat.

“What’s that?” comes a quiet voice from the hallway. I look over and see Theo standing there with a wide but sleepy smile.

I point at my lap and whisper, “Look!”

Theo comes around the corner and settles carefully onto the couch beside me. “Did he do that all on his own?”

“Yes,” I giggle. “I think we are friends now.”

“So, what did you want to name him?”

I wave at the television and smile. “Captain Rex.”

“I think that’s perfect,” Theo says, petting his soft pink ears. “Maybe…just Rex though.”

“Rex…” I murmur, “because he is a good friend.”

“I like it.” There is a long silence while Theo scratches Rex on the back of his neck.

“Theo,” I say at last. “Do you believe…that people can overcome the way they were made to be? The way they were created?”

He sighs and glances at the screen too. “You mean like Rex does there at the end? To protect Ahsoka?”

“Yes. He cared about his friends enough to resist it when they tried to make him follow the order to kill Jedi. Do you think…that is actually possible?”

“Annie,” says Theo gently, “it’s just a show. But…I also think you’re strong enough to fight anything that anyone throws at you.”

“I will try,” I tell him, just as something overwhelming rises up in my chest. It is not Annoth, attempting to take over. This is a human emotion, I think, but I do not know which one. “I will try…for you and Ben…because I love you both.”

There is a burning sensation behind my eyes, and when I put my fingers to my face, they come away wet. My body shudders with a tiny sob.

“Annie,” Theo gasps, dipping his head to inspect my face. “Annie, are you crying?”

“A-am I?” My words come out strangled, choked by the lump in my throat, but Theo actually laughs, and pulls me against him. My body shakes and my chest heaves, sending more tears spilling from my eyes and down my cheeks. “Why is this happening?”

“I don’t know,” he murmurs into my hair.

Rex lifts his head and chirps at us, then begins purring again.

The sensation of it, of his warmth and closeness and trust, causes me to cry even harder, until I am sobbing into Theo’s chest, clutching his shirt.

Rex does not move from my lap, however—just curls into a tighter ball and continues purring.

I must have fallen as leep in Theo’s arms, because when I open my eyes again, it is morning.

Theo is awake, lying under me, and we are covered in blankets, while Ben sits on the chair beside us.

My cheeks feel taut, dry, and my eyes are still puffy.

I listen to them talk for a moment and realize that Theo is explaining to Ben what happened the night before.

“Yeah, I don’t think this is gonna be covered in a Demonology 101 book,” Ben chuckles, “but I’m not gonna stop until I figure it out. I just wish I could get to the library at my old seminary. Probably more detailed stuff there, but…I think I’m persona non grata on campus now.”

I open my eyes all the way and push myself up. They are both looking at me as if waiting for me to start crying again. I look down to see Rex still curled in a ball against my stomach. He lifts his head too and lets out a small prrow , so I scratch him behind the ears.

“Are we going to your new job now?” I ask.

“You feeling alright?” Theo sits up beside me and pushes some hair out of my face. “You were snoring, you know.”

“I was not!” I gasp, horrified.

“Have any naughty dreams, mi amor ?” Ben asks.

I put a hand on my head. “If I did, I cannot remember them.”

He stands up and walks over, then gently puts his fingers around my throat, tilting my head back so he can brush his lips over mine.

“We’ll just have to make sure you have one tonight, then.”

“If it can wait until after we get home from work, that would be better,” Theo laughs, pulling his body out from under me. Ben does not let him off easy though, pushing him back against the couch and pinning him there for a deep kiss.

“Fine,” Ben breathes when he finally releases Theo, who looks dazed. “I’m a patient man.” He goes to the kitchen and takes out eggs and bacon for breakfast, while Theo feeds Rex and gets dressed .

“Do you think it will be safe for me to be inside Theo’s body all day?” I ask Ben as he sets a fresh mug of coffee on the counter in front of me.

“Hmm…I’m really not sure. Have you gone back at all since…?” He does not need to say ‘since you tried to kill me and possess him’. It is the worst memory I will ever have.

“No, I have not tried. It is different, being inside the host. Closer, more connected. I can feel what he feels. I worry that Annoth might also be more…in tune with his emotions.”

“Well, hopefully he won’t be feeling much while he’s shoveling dog shit all day,” Ben jokes, “but just be on your guard. He really needs this.”

I nod in agreement, determined not to be the reason Theo loses an opportunity to get his life back, especially not now that my own world is so different. I can feel myself changing, feel myself becoming more human–separating from her, and I know I cannot lose that either.

I will not go back into the darkness now that I have found my light.