Page 15

Annoth

Theodore’s discomfort quickly becomes apparent through our connection, but I cannot tell if it is related more to my aggressive tactics, or the fact that he is attracted to the young priest, who is rummaging in his vehicle.

He pulls out the large bag he had in the apartment the day before, then locks the door and looks at us.

Theodore folds his arms and nods toward me. “That’s Annoth,” he says stiffly. “I’m Theo.”

Benjamin just grins and sticks his hand out, but Theodore does not shake it. “You can call me Ben. I’d say it’s a pleasure…but…”

“Walk, priest ,” I snap, pointing down the street.

“So, the thing about that–” he starts to say, but I cut him off.

“We shall discuss this in private.”

He glances at Theodore, who nods and starts walking. I will have to watch him closely to ensure he does not lose his nerve and allow our captive to go free simply because of his own guilty conscience.

“Ok, I know you’re new to this…plane of existence,” Theodore says to me quietly, “but this is illegal. It’s kidnapping.”

“You think I give a damn about your pathetic human laws?” I snarl. “My job is to punish sinners, and forcing him to finish the job for which he was paid is hardly a punishment. I believe you humans might even call it justice.”

“Ok, just…don’t hurt him, alright? Because then it’s kidnapping and assault.”

Benjamin turns to walk backwards in front of us and asks, “What are you, a lawyer?”

“No,” Theodore mutters, “it’s just common knowledge.”

“This is literally insane,” Benjamin laughs, then he turns around again.

Theodore leads us on a more circuitous route back to the apartment, most likely trying to avoid running into his female friend with the brightly colored hair.

When we are all inside with the door locked, the useless priest flops down onto the couch as if he is a guest.

“Did your cleaning lady get possessed too?” he asks, still grinning. Theodore removes his jacket and scarf, while I simply wave my hand to make my outer layer vanish, then go and stand beside Father Benjamin, arms crossed.

“You will complete the ritual now,” I tell him. He tilts his head back and looks at me with a strange expression–curiosity mixed with hunger. Fiery rage spreads through my body and I clench my fists.

“Yeah,” he says with a yawn, “I tried to tell you two before, but…I’m not a real priest. Not anymore, anyway.”

Theodore groans, dropping his head into his hands.

“What do you mean, you are not a real priest?” I snarl.

“I was , but they kicked me out.” Benjamin shrugs, looking unconcerned.

“So you can’t…perform an exorcism?” Theodore asks.

“Even if I was still ordained, I don’t even know the whole rite. It has to be performed correctly, and by someone of ‘great faith’. In other words, not me.”

I cannot help but let out a low, savage scream and allow the black claws to reappear at the tips of my fingers.

“You filthy liar!”

“I tried to tell you! ”

Theodore takes a step between us. “Ok, just settle down. Do you know anyone who would do it without the permission of a bishop or family, and without all the mental health tests? Under the table, I guess…”

“Not here,” Benjamin says. “I could try to make some calls, but…I’m not exactly in good standing with the church anymore. Not really in a place to ask for favors, especially ones that break rules.”

“Fuck!” Theodore snaps. I begin pacing the floor beside the window, Benjamin’s dark eyes following me closely.

“So…you’re a real demon?” he asks. “What’s Hell like? I’ve been told that’s where I’ll end up. It would be nice to get a sense of the place.” He is smirking, as if it is all a joke, and the rage in my chest burns even hotter.

“Your human mind cannot comprehend the horrors that await you, Father, ” I say softly, flashing my pointed teeth.

He is, apparently, still unfazed, and shifts his gaze to Theodore. “So…what now? Can I go?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Am I allowed to ask questions about your…situation?”

“I guess so.”

“She seems to want an exorcism as badly as you do. What’s the deal? I thought demons wanted to stay inside their host as long as possible.”

“This ‘host’ is weak and cowardly,” I say, waving my hand at Theodore. “I cannot take hold of him, nor bend him to my will.”

He glares at me across the room. “I’m just…dealing with some shit, and I guess that makes it harder for her to take over my soul, or whatever. She wants out so she can go find another victim, and I want her out…for obvious reasons.”

“And you can’t just leave on your own?” Benjamin asks me.

“Not unless I have completed my mission, or if I am recalled by my masters in the Seventh Tower. ”

“Ok, well…skipping right over what the fuck that is, what would make your mission complete? What do you have to do?”

“I must corrupt his soul so completely that it will never wash clean, by controlling his mind and body to make him commit the most heinous of sins.”

Benjamin actually laughs, but then his face grows serious when he looks at me. “Oh…for real? I mean…that all sounds super dramatic.”

“That’s just how she talks,” Theodore says, rolling his eyes. Benjamin grins, then sits up and claps his hands together.

“Ok, listen. I know this sounds completely insane, but…I want to help you,” he says to Theodore. “I’ll be honest, I’m interested. Even when I was clergy, I guess this was part of it that I just…didn’t really believe in. So, I’m willing to make the two of you a deal.”

“You are in no position to make bargains, Father!” I hiss, sweeping my clawed hand toward him. He gulps, but does not otherwise react.

“What deal?” Theodore asks.

“I’ll make those calls and try to get someone out here who could do your exorcism…under the table. But, until then, you let me crash here. I’ll give you back what’s left of the money I took too, as a sign of good faith.” He pulls a wad of human money from his pocket and holds it out.

“You want to stay here? In my apartment?”

“Well, it beats sleeping in my car. Besides, I think I might have some skills that could…help the two of you come to an understanding. You know, in case you’re stuck this way longer than you’d like to be.”

Theodore takes the money and counts it, then asks, “What skills?”

“Marital counseling,” Benjamin says, flashing his smile again. It is rather charming, I will admit, and it appears to be working on Theodore .

“Marital counseling?” he says incredulously. “You want to give me and my…demon…marital counseling?”

“What is this?” I ask, annoyed.

Theodore sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s…something married couples do when they’re having problems in their relationship. They talk to someone about their feelings and their issues, like a doctor…or a priest.”

“I did some training for it,” says Benjamin. “Obviously, you don’t have to, but…I’m sensing a lot of tension here.” He waves between Theodore and I.

I am exhausted by this now, and turn to Theodore. “I have a better idea. You must kill him. I will assist you in dismembering and disposing of the body.”

“What?!”

“If you kill him, then my mission will be complete, and I shall be able to return home!”

“And what about me?” Theodore cries. “What about him?” He motions to Benjamin, who is watching us both warily.

“Yeah, I vote for not murdering me, please,” he says.

“Ugh!” I bark, throwing my hands up. “You are both pathetic!” I stalk down the hall, and Theodore’s feline companions race past me, hissing and spitting. I stop before I reach the bedroom, then linger in the shadows to see what the two men discuss when they believe I am out of earshot.

“Ok, listen,” Theodore says, watching the cats closely as they twine themselves around Benjamin’s legs. “We’re going to have to set some ground rules here.”

Benjamin scratches the cats behind their ears and nods. “Sure.”

“I have an air mattress and a spare room, but Annoth is going to keep an eye on you at night. She doesn’t sleep, so she’ll be out here on the couch.”

“Doing what?”

“She, uhh…she likes watching movies. ”

Another barking laugh from Benjamin. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, don’t ask,” Theodore tells him. “So, she’s going to monitor you while I’m asleep.

You’re going to make phone calls, send emails, texts, smoke signals, whatever you have to do to try and find us a real exorcist, and you’re going to show me receipts, ok?

In the meantime…I guess we could do some counseling or whatever… ”

I grind my teeth together and try to consider my best course of action.

I do not trust Father Benjamin. Not that I trust Theodore either, but he at least seems to be more predictable, whereas the false priest clearly has all the hallmarks of a sinner just waiting to take advantage of anyone he can.

Normally, I might rejoice and recruit him to assist me with corrupting Theodore, but my host does not seem to trust him any more than I do.

No, Father Benjamin will not be able to help me, and if he does not hold up his end of the bargain, I could be trapped this way for a very long time.

I will not suffer that fate, so I must continue to play their game.

I emerge from the hallway and try to maintain a calm demeanor.

“I do not think it is a good idea to place your trust in him,” I tell Theodore.

“But, it seems we have no choice. If he does not fulfill his obligations, however, I shall take my pleasure tearing his entrails from his body and stuffing them back down his throat. I will also not be speaking to him about any…feelings.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense, since you don’t feel anything other than perpetual bitchiness,” Theodore retorts.

“Perhaps if you were not such a craven little worm, Theo, darling, I would feel less inclined to–”

“Ok!” says Benjamin, standing up suddenly. “I think that’s enough for now. Everyone just…take a breather.” I roll my eyes and retreat to the bedroom, thoroughly fed up with these soft, cowardly humans and their emotional nonsense.