Page 45

Annie

While Theo and Ben finish talking, I sit on the couch and try to rid myself of the wings, horns, and tail.

My powers are behaving strangely, and I am not certain if it is related to my feelings, the alcohol I drank, or to Annoth’s attempted takeover.

She was too strong for me, and I could not keep her buried.

Up until that moment, I did not realize she was buried.

I still cannot understand what happened, but many things I have experienced the past few weeks have been unprecedented.

Ben’s voice was able to bring me back, and I did not permanently injure anyone, but I still hate myself for not fighting harder.

I hate knowing that she is still here, lurking, waiting to hurt the people I want to protect.

I hate that Theo may never completely forgive me–may never want me again the way he has the past few days.

No matter what he decides, however, I must never allow it to happen again.

And so, I sit with my legs crossed, focused on pulling these pieces of myself back into my body.

If I can just get control over my powers again, perhaps I can figure out how to lock Annoth away for good.

“Annie girl?” Ben’s gentle voice snaps me from my concentration.

No luck with the wings or horns, but the tail is gone, and I have at least managed to conjure up shorts and a tank top so I am no longer wearing only shadows.

Ben and Theo are standing in front of me, both now fully dressed.

Ben holds his hand out and I take it, trying to make myself, or at least the wings, smaller.

Theo’s eyes run over them warily, then flicker across the massive hole I gouged in his wall.

I feel as though a pit of snakes is writhing in my stomach, and I do not know what to make of the sensation.

“Theo…” I murmur. “I am so–”

“I know you’re sorry,” he replies, holding his hand up. “I don’t know what the…situation is, with you and…Annoth. But I know that you, Annie, are sorry.”

“Thank you.”

He takes a deep breath. “That being said, the only reason she was able to get a hold on me in the first place is because of my feelings for you.”

The snakes in my stomach leap at his admission. “Your feelings?” I ask, squirming–uncomfortable, but unable to understand why.

“I can’t…talk about it,” Theo says, and his face appears pained when he glances at Ben. “Not because I don’t want to, but because I need to just…keep them locked away, so she can’t use them again. Alright?”

“Yes.”

“So, here’s the deal: Ben is going to work on finding a way to…

keep you around–without possessing anyone, I guess.

We’re still going to get his friend here in a few weeks for an exorcism, but until then, he’s going to stay and obviously, so are you.

I just…might need some space for a little while, that’s all.

Until I can figure out what I’m feeling and what happened. ”

“I understand.” The snakes now feel like leaden ropes, heavy and limp. I look at Ben, and he gives me a wink. I take that to mean that my relationship with him, at least, will not change.

“I promise, Annie, I’m not going to be mean to you or anything,” Theo says.

His fingers twitch at his side, as if he wants to reach for my hand.

It is taking all my own self-control not to put my arms around him.

“I forgive you fo r what happened. I can see you didn’t mean it. You didn’t want to hurt either of us.”

I twist my hands together and whisper, “Thank you, Theo. I am sorry about…” I gesture vaguely at the wall and at my wings. “I will help you fix the damage, and…I am trying to get rid of the wings and horns. My powers are still not working correctly. I do not have full control.”

“That’s alright,” says Ben, stepping up and putting an arm around my waist. “Halloween is next week anyway!” His grin fills me with warmth, and even Theo smiles.

“That’s true,” he laughs. “She could probably win a costume contest with those things.”

“Ohhh.” A devilish sparkle enters Ben’s eyes. “I know exactly where I’m taking the two of you for Halloween.”

Theo looks a bit anxious, but laughs, “Why am I imagining some kind of drug-fueled EDM club where everyone dresses like demons?”

“You’re not far off, osito,” says Ben, kissing him on the cheek, then pulling his phone out and walking into the kitchen. Theo glances at me and I think, for a moment, that he might kiss me, but then he takes a step toward the hall.

“I’m gonna go shower,” he says. “Ben, are you still taking charge of food?”

“Yes, dear!” Ben calls with a wave. I venture into the kitchen, and he opens his arms to me, so I lean against his chest. When I touch the bruise on his chest, he flinches and I pull away.

“How bad is it?” I whisper, covering my face with my hands.

“Don’t you dare worry, mi amor ,” Ben says, gently pulling my hands down and making me look at him.

“Theo said he wanted to take you to a hospital!” I am shaking, and there is a creeping, choking sensation in my stomach, which moves up into my throat.

I lean back into Ben, balling my hands into fists at the base of his throat, and he holds me while I tremble.

I wrap my wings around us, tryi ng to block out the rest of the world and contain this sweet warmth, which does not come from my own Hellfire, but from him.

“Talk to me, Annie,” he murmurs.

“I do not know what is happening. My body feels so strange, Ben, and I want it to stop.”

“Ok, hey. We’re gonna figure this out. I promise. Tell me what it feels like.”

“Like there are…snakes inside me…but they are crawling up my throat– choking me. Sometimes they feel heavier, and sometimes they turn into bubbles, and sometimes I cannot breathe because they–”

“Annie girl,” Ben interjects, putting his fingers over my mouth. “I think you’re feeling… feelings . Emotions.”

I lean back to glare at him. “Please do not tease me, Ben. This could be serious! What if she is trying to take over again?”

“I think what you’re feeling is sadness and guilt, mi amor . You’re upset…”

“But…I cannot feel. I am not built that way,” I mutter, trying to push the idea of it away.

I do not see how this could be true, and I do not want to hope that I might experience something like what Ben and Theo have.

Those human emotions that make them so vulnerable and yet so alive at the same time.

“I think you’ve changed. I think, against all odds, you changed yourself.”

“Or you changed me. That night we danced, you said I should know what it means to trust someone. You trusted me with your life, even though you knew what I was. Perhaps that…did something to me.”

“Well, I’ll take a little credit, if you insist,” Ben laughs, leaning down to brush his lips against mine. I close my eyes and focus on the feeling his kiss produces inside me.

Something lighter com es into my stomach, like the tiny flutters I felt when I watched films during my first days here.

My head feels almost dizzy, or off-kilter, and there is a bubbling sensation in my chest and throat.

I want to laugh, even though nothing is funny, and the corners of my mouth turn up involuntarily as Ben slips his hand around the back of my neck and deepens our kiss.

When our lips part, I cannot help myself. “May I tell you that I love you?” I dare not open my eyes as I wait for him to respond.

“Oh, Annie,” he whispers, and I feel his lips pull into a smile against mine.

“You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel things, and you definitely don’t need anyone’s permission to talk about them, especially with me.

I want all of you. Good, bad, everything in between.

Come Hell or high water, you’re mine, alright?

” I finally look up at him. Theo’s eyes are blue, but Ben’s are brown, and warm, like the hot chocolate we get in the park.

Brown and soft, like the earth where the forget-me-nots grow.

Brown and brilliant, like the shining autumn leaves falling from the trees outside.

“I love you,” I say softly, and the feeling inside me becomes so overwhelming, I have to bury my face in my hands again. He slowly lifts my chin, his dimples on full display.

“I know,” he replies. I am taken aback for a moment before I realize he is quoting Star Wars .

He kisses me again, pulling me against him, and I wrap my arms around his neck, closing my wings tighter around both of us.

“I love you too. If that makes me stupid, then so be it. I’ll be so stupidly in love with you, they’ll write it on my headstone: Here lies Ben, who loved Annie so much, it rotted his brain .

” He tucks a piece of hair into the curve of one of my horns, then presses his face into my neck, making me giggle.

“That would require you to have had a brain in the first place,” I tease. Ben looks delighted and reaches down to tickle my ribs. I squeal and jerk backwards, but my wings twitch, and I knock several magnets off the refrigerator.

“Shit,” I mutter, and turn around to pick them up, forcing him to duck in order to avoid being hit again.

“Easy there, Bat Girl,” he laughs. “Why don’t I work in here, and you go sit on the couch and work on those? I don’t think this apartment is quite big enough for them.”

“That might be best,” I agree, and leave him in the kitchen to cook.

“Can you actually…fly?” he asks as I resume my position on the couch. “Or are they purely decorative?”

“With this body, I am not sure. I can fly in my shadow form, so I suppose…if I made my human bones hollow, like a bird’s…perhaps I might be able to.”

“Gruesome,” Ben replies.

“Who’s flying where?” Theo asks, emerging from the hallway, rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

“Annie says she might actually be able to fly with those things,” Ben explains.

Theo laughs as he sits at the counter. “You could make a killing doing food delivery.”