Page 36

Theo

Annie and I don’t talk for a long time after Ben leaves.

I put on Star Wars , more for comfort and background noise than anything else.

She sits at the counter and pushes leftovers around her plate while I eat on the couch.

If Ben doesn’t come back, the chances of Annie and I being separated are virtually none.

I also thought that something had changed between us, but now I’m just not sure.

The anxiety pressing against the inside of my chest whispers insistently that I’m about to get my heart broken again.

“Do you feel angry?” says Annie quietly, looking over at me—her big, black eyes full of sadness.

“About Ben leaving?” I ask, and she nods. “Maybe a little. I think I’m more angry that he didn’t say why he had to go. Like it was a state secret or something.”

“Perhaps…he was embarrassed?” she suggests, and I can’t help but smile at her adorable attempt to guess human emotions.

I put my plate down and walk over to where she’s sitting, with Ben’s jacket still draped around her shoulders.

Something is definitely different between her and I now, but I’m not sure exactly what it is, or what she wants it to be.

Our situation was weird enough before, and now it’s completely off the rails.

Even just standing near her feels strangely comforting though, as if we’ve trauma bonded over being tied to each ot her involuntarily.

I put my hands on her shoulders and she leans into me, closing her eyes.

“Would you lie down with me?” she asks quietly.

“Just…lie down?” I say, and she opens her depthless eyes, then grins.

“You are blushing, my dear.”

“Am I?” I laugh, tracing my thumb along her cheek and down the side of her neck.

“Yes, I would like to just lie down with you.” She almost sounds tired and closes her eyes again, so I move to the side and lift her out of the chair, letting Ben’s leather jacket fall, then carry her to the couch and fall with her on top of me.

We nestle down so I’m on my back and she’s next to me, the same way she was with Ben just that morning.

It’s extremely strange to think that so much has changed in just one day, but once we’re settled in, I don’t want to move.

I find some horrific true crime show for her to watch, then run my hand over her long hair, smoothing it down.

“Is this really going to make you feel better?” I ask when the creepy theme music starts up and the narrator begins detailing a brutal dismemberment.

Annie lets out a quiet laugh. “If you knew anything about my world, you might understand.”

“Tell me, then. I know you said my mind can’t comprehend the horrors, but…is there anything you can tell me? What do you do when you aren’t…torturing? Do demons have bars or clubs or something for their days off?”

“Hmmm.” She props her chin on her hand so she can look at me. “We do not have ‘days off’. We simply…work on a soul until it is so worn down that it can no longer be tormented, then it is cast into the lake. We may have a brief respite before being assigned another soul.”

I swallow, trying to ignore how not normal this conversation is. “What does the ‘respite’ entail? Like a vacation?”

“No,” Annie chuckles. “I would occasionally be tasked with moving souls to another tower, and then I might assist with those punishments for a short time.”

“Right…everyone needs a change of pace sometimes.”

“Precisely,” she says with an earnest smile.

“So, Ben was right about the whole…seven towers for seven deadly sins thing?”

“It is slightly more complex than that, but yes.”

I go silent for a minute, then decide that I need an answer to the question that’s been burning a hole in me all afternoon.

“Annie, earlier, when we were all…uh…when we were in the car, Ben asked if you enjoyed watching me and him together…because it’s a sin…”

“And?”

“You said that it’s not…”

She lets out a small, sharp sigh. “Yes, Ben explained to me what some of your churches have to say about this. It is not so black and white as that.”

“Explain it to me,” I murmur. “Please. I need to know.”

She curls her fingers through mine as she answers.

“We punish sinners for things like lust, pride, and greed, yes, but…only inasmuch as they have caused harm to other people. The most sinful thing about what you and Ben did was that, perhaps you have not made any kind of commitment to one another—that one of you could have been using the other for lustful purposes…with no intention of care.”

“So I’m not…going to Hell, just for being with men?”

“Oh, sweet Theo, no,” she whispers, lifting herself onto her elbow and putting a hand on my cheek. “Perhaps for many other things, but not for that.”

She gives me a wicked smile, and I feel a laugh bubble up in my chest, but it dies rather quickly when I think about Ben.

“You don’t think that’s what he was doing, do you? Using me? Us?”

“I cannot say,” Annie sighs, laying her head back on my chest. “I do not know human behavior well enough. His promises to return seemed genuine.”

“I guess so.” I pull out my phone and check my texts.

Nothing from Ben, but I do have a few from Molly saying how much she appreciated me coming to Tabby’s game.

I type out a quick reply and send it, then open the app Ben downloaded for me to see his location.

I didn’t want to use it, and I’m honestly not sure why he gave it to me, but I click on the ‘Track’ button anyway.

“What is this?” Annie asks.

“This is how we can see his location,” I explain. There’s a violent jolt in my stomach when I see the little blue dot labeled with his name, and where it is.

“Where is he?”

“He’s…he’s at a fucking assisted living facility,” I groan, sitting up.

Annie sits up too with a hand on my shoulder. “I do not understand.”

“It’s like…a hospital for really old people. Fuck !”

“He did say that it was a family affair…perhaps he has an elderly family member?”

“Then why wouldn’t he just tell us that?

” I almost shout. “What if he’s running another scam?

Pretending to give Last Rites to some little old lady who doesn’t know any better!

Goddamnit !” I throw my phone back onto the couch and stand up, pacing around the living room, the anxiety in my body welling up until I forcibly shove it back.

Annie doesn’t seem to be reacting to it, but I know it’s not worth the risk.

“Do you truly believe that?” she asks.

“I don’t know! I mean…fuck, I haven’t even known him a month!

He could still be scamming me for all I know, playing some kind of long con just so I don’t turn him into the cops.

If it was a family thing, why would he be so cagey about it?

I thought he trusted me. I thought we were…

I don’t know…I thought things were different now. ”

“Theo,” says Annie softly, grabbing my arm as I walk by. I stop and pull away from her.

“Don’t,” I grunt. “Don’t try to make me feel better. This is all your fault anyway.” Her eyes widen, and she actually looks hurt for a moment, but then the expression vanishes.

“You said that you trust Ben. Was that true?” she asks.

“How can I?” I spit, sinking back onto the couch and putting my head in my hands. “I mean, how can I really trust him?”

“I am no expert in human emotions, Theo,” says Annie, sliding closer to me, “but…I know you care for him. I believe humans often give something called ‘a benefit of doubt’ to those they care about.”

“Benefit of the doubt,” I mutter. “Yeah, but…fuck, I don’t know. I want to trust him. I want him to come back. I want everything to be…the way it’s been the last couple weeks, but that’s stupid.” I turn to look at her, and she smiles, then reaches out and touches my leg.

“I do too,” she says, “and it is not stupid.”

“It’s stupid because of you,” I tell her, “and I’m not saying that to be cruel, but…

what happens when you’re gone? Either Ben finds someone to exorcise you, or all these good deeds somehow finish it, or eventually they’ll call you back, right?

So this is all just a ridiculous house of cards waiting for a light breeze to come along. ”

“You do not think Ben would stay with you…after I am gone?” she asks, and there’s something strange in her voice that I can’t place–almost like guilt.

“I-I don’t know…” I run a hand over my face and try not to look at her.

I don’t want to see how hurt she is, because then I’ll be the one who feels guilty for blaming her.

I know it isn’t her fault for being what she is, and for trying to do the job she was given.

I should give her some credit for trying to be better and choose her own path, but I’m still afraid of what might happen–afraid she might ch ange her mind, or that it’s all just been a game for her from the start.

But then I realize I’m more afraid of her getting recalled, of never seeing her again, and of what Ben might decide to do if she’s gone. I realize that, more than anything, I can’t stand the thought of losing both of them.

“I’m sorry, Annie,” I sigh. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean that it’s all your fault.”

She just shrugs. “You are not wrong, but…I cannot help what I am. Or at least…what I was.”

I move over and pull her onto my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck as I fall back onto the arm of the couch, then she lies on top of me in silence, her fingers drawing lazy little circles on my chest.

“Were you ever human?” I ask after a few minutes.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…where do demons come from? Are they human souls first and then they’re turned into demons? Are they fallen angels? Something else?”

A small frown crosses her face. “I was born out of the shadows and flames of Hell. I have known nothing else. I am nothing else.”

“I don’t think that’s true anymore,” I say quietly, kissing the top of her head. She nestles into me and I reach back to pull a blanket from the chair and drape it over us.