Page 31

The o

While Mom interrogates Ben and ‘Annika’, I go stand next to Molly on the sidelines and watch Tabby get into a huddle with her teammates.

“You seem better,” Molly says quietly. I look down and realize that she doesn’t look better than the last time I saw her.

She looks exhausted, and guilt threatens to drag me down again.

Normally, I’m there to help her out. Driving the kids to games or practices, taking the boys fishing with Dad while Mom takes the twins, just so Molly can spend time with Tabby. I’ve been letting them all down.

“I’m sorry, Mol,” I say in barely more than a whisper. “I haven’t been there for you lately.”

She toys with her necklace and watches the game start. “You’ve had a lot going on,” is all she says.

Understatement of the century. I glance over at Ben, who’s speaking animatedly to my parents, and Annoth, who’s observing the game with a rather quizzical look on her face.

“Yeah, but you and the kids…you’re more important than my drama,” I tell Molly.

“Have you talked to Ros at all? Vi told me about her new job and her new place…”

“She came by yesterday, actually, to get the cats.”

“And?”

“We didn’t talk about it. She’s set on her path and…I’m set on mine. No reason for hard feelings.” I shrug, but Molly reaches up and puts her hand on the tattoo covering my upper arm.

“Teddy,” she says gently, but I shrug away from her.

“I promise I’m alright, Mol. Just need to start the moving on process.”

“Yes, how’s that going?” she asks, raising her eyebrows and glancing at Ben. He’s actually making my Dad laugh now. A miracle, honestly.

“It’s not like that,” I say, a little too quickly.

Her eyebrows go higher. “That’s what you said about Jared Isaacson in high school.”

I can’t help but laugh, because I think she’s right. “Well, this time I mean it.”

“If you say so,” she says with a smirk, then turns back to the game and calls out to Tabby. I join in, and pretty soon we’re the two most obnoxious people on the sidelines, doing the stupid cheers we made up when Tabby first started soccer at age five.

After a while, I look back to see Ben and Annoth walking toward the car. Slightly concerned, I start to go after them, but Mom waylays me and hands me a bottle of water.

“I’m just so happy you’re here, Teddy,” she says in a voice that quivers with emotion.

“Me too, Mom. How’s everything at school?” I ask, keeping my eye on Ben and Annoth before they vanish behind the bathroom building.

“Oh, it’s the same as always,” she tells me, clearly excited that I’m asking. “We’d love to have you back at Sunday Mass and lunch, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” says Dad, who’s sitting in a folding chair with both twins while they watch a show on his phone. “It’s important, Teddy, and I know you aren’t getting to Mass down there in the city.”

He raises an eyebrow at me, and I have to fight back a shudder as I imagine his reaction if I told him I can’t even enter a church right now.

“I’ll definitely be there sometime soon,” I reply, then pull my phone out to text Ben. The last thing I need is for Annoth to go too far away and get pulled back into my body while I’m standing next to my parents.

The two of them reappear and come back up to the sidelines, but I swear I feel something weird through the connection Annoth and I share.

It’s almost like fear, slowly seeping into my body, like there’s a crack somewhere in a dam, allowing a trickle of water through.

I try to block it out, but when Ben explains what happened, I wonder if she really is changing–if I should try giving her the benefit of the doubt, the way I’ve done with Ben these past two weeks.

Toward the end of the game, while Ben is still keeping Molly’s four youngest kids occupied on the empty field beside us, Mom walks over and hugs me tightly.

I wrap an arm around her shoulders and squeeze.

It’s been too long, and I didn’t even realize how much I’d really missed my family.

They might stress me out sometimes, but I know they love me.

“Teddy, I hope you’ll bring Ben over on Sunday sometime too,” Mom says once she lets go. “So good for you to have a nice Catholic roommate.” She taps the little gold saint medallion hanging around her own neck and I realize she must have seen his Saint Jude.

“Uh…maybe. He might have his own plans though.”

“Yeah, like volunteering at a homeless shelter or something,” says Molly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I’m taking a sip of water and almost snort it out my nose.

Oh shit . She must have looked him up after he said his full name earlier.

Luckily, Mom and Dad don’t seem to catch her comment.

I know Molly would never out him, but now I’ll definitely have to tell her some version of the truth sooner or later.

I wonder if she found anything connecting him to the priesthood.

“I’ll…I’ll ask him,” I mutter.

“What are you all doing for lunch?” Mom asks. “We’re taking Molly and the kids out.”

“He has a job interview, Mom, didn’t he tell you?” says Molly, clearly trying to rescue me.

“On a Saturday?” Mom asks, looking skeptical.

Luckily, Molly is a quick thinker. “It’s one of those new startups, right, Teddy? You know how they are. Always on the clock.”

“No respect for the five day work week anymore,” Dad grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Don’t they know people fought and–”

“Oh, John,” Mom interrupts. “Well, that’s wonderful, sweetheart! Of course, you get back and have your interview. Let us know how it goes.”

We all turn as a shout erupts from across the park.

Ben is running around the goal on the other pitch, crying for help and trying to dodge the four small children, who almost have him cornered inside the net.

Mom and Dad move away to grab them and get them ready to leave, but Molly comes to stand beside me and folds her arms.

“Thank God one of us learned how to lie,” I say quietly.

“You owe me big time.”

“I’ll take all five of them out for ice cream,” I promise, and I know I have to ask her before it’s too late. “So…you looked Ben up. What exactly did you find?”

“The Pride parade interview,” she says, then takes her phone out and holds it up, “and this.” It’s a brief local news article about Ben resigning from the priesthood, posted just a few weeks after the interview, along with a photo of him in liturgical robes.

The reason for his resignation isn’t mentioned, but Molly opens the comment section to show me.

There’s almost a hundred of them, every single one about how wonderful ‘Father Ben’ is and how much he’ll be missed.

“You’d better be glad neither of them knows how to use the internet,” Molly says, motioning to our parents as she puts her phone away. “I’d never say anything though, so don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Mol.”

“Teddy, just…promise me you won’t let your fear of what people think get in the way of being happy, alright? You deserve to be happy.”

“Molly, I swear, it’s not—” The denial dies in my throat as we watch Ben try to fend off Tucker’s last ditch attempt at a goal. All I can do is sigh, “I promise…”

“He’s sweet,” Molly murmurs. “He reminds me of Gabe.”

“Yeah, he does,” I reply, and we both fall silent. Tabby’s game ends a minute later and she races over to us, flushed with her team’s victory.

“Hey, great game, Tabs!” I tell her as she jumps back into my arms.

“Are you coming to lunch after Mass tomorrow, Uncle Teddy?” she asks. “I want to show you my school project! It’s a diorama about arctic foxes!”

“I’m not sure about tomorrow, but I promise I’ll be there sometime very soon.

” I pretend to drop her and then hoist her back up several times while she laughs.

It’s an effort, and I realize I need to get back to the gym.

Ben limps back over to us, dark curls sticking to his forehead with sweat.

I hug all the kids, then the three of us say goodbye to my parents and Molly in the parking lot.

Once Ben, Annoth, and I get back into his car, he pulls his shirt up and slaps his stomach.

“Whoo, I’m outta shape,” he pants. “Theo, maybe you need to start cooking so I don’t eat as much.”

I want to assure him that his body is anything but out of shape, but just give him a withering look instead. “I can cook just fine, thank you.”

“That sounds like an offer, doesn’t it, Annie girl?” Ben says with a smirk. It appears I’ve been reverse psyched into making dinner.

“As long as you make it spicy,” Annoth replies.

“Fair enough,” I laugh, but then we start to drive and a strange heaviness washes over me. “But I don’t want to go home yet…if that’s ok.”

Ben exchanges a glance with Annoth. “You’re the boss.” He takes a left out of the parking lot and drives us in the opposite direction of the city.

“Where are we going?” I ask tentatively after a few minutes with only Ben’s music playing.

“You trust me, right?” he says, and I can’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Do you trust me enough to tell me about Molly too?”

My body goes completely still. “What…about her?”

“About why you told us that she’s a single mom, but she wears that Patron Saint of Widows…”

The silence in the car is deafening. I can’t believe I was dumb enough to think Ben wouldn’t notice Molly’s necklace, or that he wouldn’t ask about it. It’s the topic I’ve been avoiding for weeks in all our little ‘counseling’ sessions, so I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I answer.

“Gabe,” I murmur. “His name was Gabe.”

“Tell me about him,” Ben says gently.